


Potential

by CanuckleheadCowgirl, magnetocerebro



Series: The 714 Marvel Universe [7]
Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse), Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: 714 Universe - Freeform, Canucklehead Cowgirl, F/M, Gen, Good things and some evil too, Our little playground, little bit of the 906 universe, magnetocerebro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 03:49:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 74,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10070042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanuckleheadCowgirl/pseuds/CanuckleheadCowgirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnetocerebro/pseuds/magnetocerebro
Summary: Volume 6!!! Of the 714 Universe with K now living in the mansion with Logan, and with Kate comfortably established as a teacher, it seems our little group of heroes is falling into something like 'normal.' Of course, we all know that isn't going to last, and when ghosts from Logan's, K's, Kate's, Kurt's, and Scott's pasts ALL start to rear their ugly heads, well... sadly, that's business as usual for the X-Men!





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:** **“Easy A”**

 

For Kurt’s birthday, he and Kate had spent the entire weekend at K’s little cottage together, and if they were both being honest, they would much rather have just stayed there. The view over the waves was amazing, not to mention the atmosphere or just ... the privacy and quiet. 

Kate tucked the amulet Billy had given her into its leather pouch and folded it in with the rest of the clothes in the overnight bags. “You know, if I wasn’t sure Annie would take our heads off for going AWOL, I’d say we should just extend our trip,” she teased. 

“November is going to be very hard on her nerves,” Kurt said. “You know we’ll be back just about in time for Thanksgiving  — then Logan you  _ know  _ is going to disappear for the weekend at least for his birthday.” He grinned wider. “They still won’t say what K did to break Scott, and he won’t be alone in a room with her.” 

“Poor, poor Annie,” Kate agreed with a grin to match his. She chuckled as she wrapped her arms around Kurt’s waist and leaned her head against his back. “Still. The stress baking is going to keep me from fitting in my uniform if she doesn’t stop.”

“You could do like our resident ferals and  _ pretend  _ like you don’t like sweet things,” Kurt teased. “Don’t let them fool you. It’s a lie.” 

“That would be a hard sell,” Kate countered. “Considering who I’m in love with.” She snuggled deeper into his back and just squeezed him tight. “I’m not that good of a liar.”

“Don’t try to be either  — it would ruin my ability to spot the lies.” 

“Me? Lie to my sweet Elf?” Kate shook her head against his shoulders. “Never.” 

He twisted around and kissed the top of her head and pulled her a hair tighter before he simply teleported them back to their room in Westchester. 

Almost immediately, they could hear the commotion down the stairs as the most confident of the student body were starting to gather up and brag on who they thought was going to win the bi-annual competition, seeing as the trip to the Savage Lands every semester was an endurance competition more than anything else. 

“Ah, the sweet chaotic sounds of home,” Kate teased, still with her arms around Kurt. “I guess we should pack for our  _ other  _ trip.”

“There’s not much packing to do, honestly,” Kurt told her. “Bug spray perhaps.” 

“And clothes I don’t mind ruining,” she added. 

He shook his head ‘no’. “Just what clothes you wear in,” he told her. “This is  _ Logan’s _ idea of camping.” 

She snorted. “Right  — I just meant… I am changing into my least favorite tee shirt  _ before  _ we go on the dinosaur-infested field trip.”

“I can help with that,” he said with a grin. 

She just grinned back at him. “And my least favorite jeans,” she added. 

“I can help with that too,” he said, nodding. “Anything else you dislike that you desire to wear?” 

“I’m sure I can come up with something,” she said as she stood on her toes and kissed him. 

* * *

When the two of them did finally teleport down to where the students were gathered for the field trip  — much later  — they were some of the last to arrive, except of course for Logan, who had just been watching the group from the kitchen as they slowly gathered and bragged to each other.

“Better get your coffee in now, Hawkeye,” he called out to Kate.

“I’m going to go through horrible withdrawals,” she said dryly. 

“I’ll mourn for you,” K said with a smirk as she picked up a freshly topped off mug and waved it Kate’s way for effect. 

“I’ll only be able to get through it by the grace of God and an Elf,” Kate said with a dramatic sigh. 

K smirked and asked Kate for her phone number. “I have a very special picture for you,” she promised. 

Kate raised an eyebrow but gave her the number anyway. “If I have to go to therapy after this I’m sending the bill to your account.” 

“I only send people to therapy with my words, honey,” K replied. “Words.” 

“You say that now, but I’m still going to send you the bill,” Kate countered. 

“I’ll send it to Fury,” K said with a smirk. “He’ll take it.” 

“Seriously. Please.  _ Please _ tell me one of these days how you broke him. You don’t have to spill on Scott. But Fury? Come  _ on _ .”

“If I spill on Fury, I spill on Scott. It was a two-fer,” K told her. “Logan laughed his ass off. You should ask him.” 

“But when I do, he just gets this look.” Kate mimicked Logan, totally straight-faced, hands on her hips, before she broke into a grin. “Like I’m insane for even thinking something happened.”

“Well  — that’s because he was hiding his face in shame. It really wasn’t that big of a deal.” 

“Uh-huh.” Kate grinned at her and stuck her phone in her pocket. “See you around, K. Don’t break anybody  _ else  _ while I’m gone.”

“Have fun,” she said before she took a few steps and gave Logan a quick kiss. “Kill some dinosaurs.” 

* * *

They’d set up camp in a familiar clearing in the heart of the Savage Land, and the students had already been working hard for hours to make their shelters and search for firewood as the adults more or less just kept an eye out for trouble.

Logan was leaning against a large tree, arms crossed and looking far beyond where the students were searching for materials as Kate and Kurt set up their own little shelter, to the amusement of the kids on the field trip, who were whispering already about how there was only really  _ one  _ chaperone, since two of the adults needed their  _ own  _ chaperone anyway. 

“What do you think  — Christmas?” one of the kids, Rico  — who had a long, scorpion-like tail and mandibles as well as little white wings — whispered to his friend.

Brye, a slender girl with short, black hair from Harlem who was using her ability to talk to animals to get some of the spiders to help her tie off her shelter correctly, shook her head. “No way. Mrs. Elf is all ... I mean, you saw the look on her face when Miss Lee was showing off the ring.”

“So next Christmas?”

“No way, Rico. Way too long.” 

“Yeah, but  _ I  _ heard they’re already engaged.”

“Says who?”

“Says Miss Chavez at the Halloween party, that’s who.”

Brye rolled her eyes. “Yeah, and gullible is written in the stars if you look at ‘em just right.” 

“Why don’t you two quit talkin’ and get back to work,” Logan rumbled in their direction, and both of them jumped slightly and looked properly embarrassed before quickly picking up the pace. 

“What were they discussing?” Kurt asked as he walked up to Logan. 

“Nothing worth repeating,” Logan replied with a little smirk. “You two get your shelter figured out, or do you need a grown up to help?” 

Kurt just chuckled at his friend. “Unless you want to give Kate a hand with her ‘finishing touches,’ I think we should be fine.”

Logan looked past Kurt to see Kate trying to make the little spot they’d picked out a bit more comfortable with big leaves and ferns. “You know you’re just making it more attractive for the bugs, right?” Logan called out to her. 

Kate stuck her tongue out at him. “My poor little princess backside can’t sleep on this many peas!” she countered. 

“Keep tales of your princess backside to yourself after the bugs finish chewing on you,” he called back as Kate’s phone sent her yet another notification. 

Kate checked the picture message and sighed dramatically. “Your girlfriend is torturing me,” she informed Logan, though she had stopped pulling leaves and ferns in  — even if she didn’t admit she was taking his advice.

“Not sure how she could do that from this far away,” Logan replied with a little smirk, knowing full well what K had been up to. 

“She’s drinking coffee  _ in my office  _ right now,” Kate complained. “There are pictures. Storm is there.” 

“So she’s not working alone then?” Kurt asked with a grin. 

“She’s a freaking rabble rouser,” Kate grumbled good-naturedly. 

“She’s harmless,” Logan argued as he kicked off from his tree. “You guys ready to hunt?” 

“Bring it on,” Kate said with a wicked grin, the full force of which was directed at the students on the field trip. Several of them were in her archery class, and she was downright excited to see them get to put what they’d learned into action.

“No reason to go easy,” Logan said her way. “Not much edible here unless you have a thing for reptiles, but  — survival class is survival class. First active trail we find  — we hunt.” He turned to the nearest, most terrified looking student. “You’re up.” 

The kid looked up wide-eyed before he stood up and just picked a direction, though already, Logan was shaking his head to himself as he gestured for the rest of them to follow. He waited until the class had gone a fair distance before he looked at Kate. “You do anything different here? Or would you have just picked a path too?” 

Kate snorted. “Look, I may be a spoiled rich girl who rarely leaves the sanctuary of  _ civilization _ ? But even I can spot patterns. At  _ least  _ try and find something that the kids didn’t trample.”

“It’s not about patterns,” Logan said with a shake. “Look for signs by spiraling out  — not just hoping you stumble onto something on a worn-down trail.” At that, the kids all stopped looked around and did just that, pinwheeling out from where the adults were standing. “Gotta give ‘em a freakin’ neon sign,” Logan muttered. 

“Not everyone was born with an innate sense of Canadian Wilderness Survival,” Kate teased.

“Does this look like Canada to you?” Logan deadpanned. “And if you say anything about dinosaurs, I’m gonna hit you.” 

Kate just grinned at him. “You’d have to catch me first, and we didn’t bring your walker.”

He just glared her way for a minute. “You better run.” 

“Don’t strain anything.” 

“No running,” Kurt said. “You know that before you caught her, I’d just have to teleport her away.” Kurt was grinning as he shook his head at the two of them. “Kate. Please.” 

“He  _ asks  _ for it,” Kate defended. “And besides, Grandpa Dinosaur needs the exercise.” 

“I’m sure he got quite enough on  _ his  _ mini trip to the lake,” Kurt said in Kate’s ear, only to get a look from Logan. 

Kate didn’t even see it as Logan whipped his hand up and tapped the back of her head as he passed the two of them by. “Behave or I’ll leave you with the kids,” Logan warned. “You know. Practice for the near future.” 

“You and K have something you want to tell us?” Kate countered with a smirk. “Do I need to brush up on babysitting?”

“You’re the one with demon morning sickness,” he replied. “I saw the photoshop crap that America sent out. Cute. real cute.” 

“Did she have to show you how to open the attachment for the picture set?” Kate asked. “I know it’s hard to figure out new tech at your age.”

He chuckled at her. “You don’t even know my age.” 

“Nope.” She grinned easily. “But I’ve sat in on your history class.”

“And …”

“And you, my friend, have personal anecdotes from my great-grandpa’s era  — even if you don’t  _ say  _ they’re personal. I know these things.” 

“Maybe I’m just a buff,” he replied. 

“We’re talking about history, not your arms,” Kate teased. 

“Why are you looking at my arms?” 

“I am a Hawkeye. I notice everything  —  even if I don’t want to. Like your horrible,  _ horrible  _ sense of fashion.”

“Yeah? Just try to keep your eyes where they belong, for once.” 

Kate didn’t even hesitate with an opening like that, just stepped right in front of Kurt, draped her arms around his neck, and stared up at him with a growing grin. “Well, now it’s going to be hard to do any hunting.” 

“TIME!” Logan called out loudly, and far off in the ferns, Brye raised her hand. “You win the pool!” The tall girl did a little victory dance as Logan smirked at Kate. 

“Kurt, we’re getting predictable. They’re betting on us now. This is distressing,” Kate said, very seriously, though she shot a little glare Logan’s way. 

“Hey I didn’t set it up, I just stepped in as proctor.” He smiled a little bit at her. “Unbiased and all that.” 

“And you accuse us of being children,” Kurt said, shaking his head at Logan. 

“You  _ are  _ children,” Logan said as the girl made her way up to them and Logan pulled out a wad of cash for her. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said to the both of them as they stared openly at the size of the wad. “I didn’t bet on you.” 

Brye grinned at both of them as she took her money and laughed all the way back to where she was to begin with. 

“Do you get the feeling we got invited along for entertainment purposes?” Kate whispered to Kurt, shaking her head. 

“At the moment? Yes,” Kurt admitted just before another of the students shouted out that he’d found a trail  —  and the group as a whole headed his way. 

When they got to his position, they examined the tracks, and Logan set a different kid  — a blonde telekinetic named Tammy who was too quiet to volunteer on her own for just about  _ anything  _ —  to lead the hunt, staying halfway close to her as she tried to track the wild pigs that had made the messy footprints. When they finally came up to the little clearing where the pig had stopped, Logan called Kate and her little student hawkeyes up to line up for the shot. 

She grinned and coached them through the breathing cycle, and just as they were finally ready to let the arrows fly, the bushes behind their quarry rattled  — and a massive dinosaur stepped in and snatched the pig up in one bite. 

Logan had to grin when Kate’s eyes went wide and she let out a little squeak that turned into a high-pitched “ _ Dino-thief _ !” as she tried to act like she wasn’t totally floored by the sight of the gigantic creature in front of them. 

The dinosaur was snapping, its head tipped up as it chomped the pig and then turned its sights to the people near the clearing. “Survival class,” Kurt said to Kate with a grin. “Always more interesting when you’re not at the top of the food chain.” 

She turned her wide-eyed stare to him and just shook her head at him. “Interesting… is putting it mildly,” she said, her voice still higher than usual and one hand on his arm. “Running now?”

“Yes, that would be best,” Kurt agreed as the kids all turned tail and took off. “Find a good spot and hide,” Kurt advised the group at large while Logan distracted the giant lizard. 

They didn’t need much prompting at all as the group went running for bushes, trees, rocks, anything that looked like it might provide cover, as the dinosaur just snapped at Logan until it seemed to decide to go after easier prey  — following the path the kids had taken, though they were well-hidden by then.

The kids stayed hidden for quite a while, considering the amount of roaring and stomping that was going on outside of their hiding spots. No one moved until Logan gave the all clear and prompted them to pick up their hunt again, unless of course, they wanted to go after the T-Rex, which Kurt promised did not taste good at all. 

“You know what a T-Rex tastes like?” one of the students asked in a voice of disbelief. 

“Have you met your instructor?” Kate countered with a laugh that was a little too delighted for half of the kids there before they started up the hunt again, though the students looked a lot more wary than before. 

It took them a few hours, but they did find prey suitable to feed the group, and the birds they killed weren’t half bad over the open fire. Kate was all but preening over her little student hawkeyes, showering them with praise for hitting not only a smaller target than the pig but a moving one as well. 

The kids’ plan had been to tell ghost stories by the fire, but all things considered, they were already shaken up by the dinosaurs and decided to leave well enough alone. “I thought they were  _ joking  _ about dinosaurs in the Antarctic,” Hisako whispered to Kate. “You know  — some kind of X-Men hazing or something?” 

“That thing didn’t look anything like they do in the movies,” another student whispered in a subdued voice. 

“The roar was pretty accurate, though.” 

“Quiet down,” Logan rumbled low. “If I can hear you, they can hear you.” 

That got the kids to quiet down pretty fast, even earning a little ‘eep’ from one of them that had the chaperones chuckling. It took a little bit of time, but with all the kids terrified to make a noise, they had little else to do but reluctantly drift off to sleep  — and it wasn’t long before Kate and Kurt were nodding off as well. 

“I’ll take watch,” Logan told them very quietly. The two of them settled in quickly and drifted off, snuggled up together under their little rain shelter. 

Not long before three in the morning, something definitely not animal caught Logan’s attention. He half-roused Kurt but didn’t explain before he slipped out of the little camp toward the sound in the trees. Kurt started to wake up more fully a short time later  —  only to look around the campsite to find that Logan was nowhere to be seen. 

He got up quietly and just waited. He was sure that his friend was nearby, as he could hear something very quiet rustling in the bushes near the trees, but he didn’t call out for him. He looked around the campsite lazily, checking to see if any of the kids were awake… and simply froze when he realized that half of the kids  — those nearest the edge of the camp  — were just … gone. He turned to Kate and woke her up quickly before doing the same with the kids who were left and questioning them as to if anyone saw or heard anything in the pitch darkness. 

As the kids were just starting to panic over their missing classmates, Kate tapped Kurt on the shoulder and leaned in to whisper in his ear, “Where’s Logan?”

Kurt looked slightly taken off-guard. “I don’t know.... but this is  _ not _ part of the trip.” He shook his head slightly. “He wouldn’t do this  — not in the Savage Land.” 

“I don’t see him either,” Kate said as she peered into the darkness and covered Kurt’s hand with hers, grabbing a bow with the other.

“This would be easier if we’d brought the bamfs,” Kurt said with a frown before he looked up toward the kids. “Everyone to the blackbird,” he called out. “We have positioning systems to find our missing numbers on the plane.” As the students rushed to do just that, he added under his breath to Kate, “I just hope Logan kept his comm on him this time.”

“You are the man of faith,” Kate muttered back as she helped him herd kids. 

“Worst case scenario, we can use the scanners to search for his metal,” Kurt replied. “I’m glad Scott asked for that feature.” 

“He’s a worrier, our boss man,” Kate said with the slightest of smirks. 

“Still, a handy tool considering,” Kurt said. 

Kate just had to nod her agreement as she and Kurt stuck close to the upset kids, running for the blackbird as they kept an eye out for any more trouble. By the time they arrived at the jet, the group of kids with them was slightly less panicked, but still wide-eyed, and definitely still terrified. 

Kurt went right to the comms to try and reach out, but he really wasn’t expecting a response. So it was all the more impressive when the comm was answered  — but not by Logan. One of the kids that was missing had picked up but was whispering so quietly, neither Kurt or Kate could figure out what they were saying over the rumbling that was coming through the comm. 

The two of them shared a look, with the kids they did have standing behind them and staring wide-eyed at the radio. “GPS?” Brye asked quietly. “They do have GPS on those things, right?” 

Kate tapped the side of her nose and smiled at the girl. “Smart thinking.” She looked over her shoulder at the kids, who despite looking wide-eyed, definitely looked like they were ready to go. “You guys up for a little rescue mission?” she asked. 

“Is this … some kind of test?” asked Rico, hesitantly. 

Kate shook her head. “Not planned, no  — but those are the best kind.” She grinned at them crookedly. “Save your teammates  — that’s how I got in the business anyway. Way too much fun to tease them later,” she added with a wink. 

The three kids shared a look and all kind of seemed to be in agreement. “We can’t really leave without them, right? So ... let’s do it,” Tammy said quietly in the back.

“And if you save your instructor, he has to pass you,” Kurt added with a little smirk. “One of Scott’s rules.” 

“Should we be concerned that there is a rule for that occasion or ... is that only for this class?” Rico asked. 

“Yes,” Kate said simply, smirking wide at him. 

“I will warn you though, if you want the free pass, we’ll need to work quickly,” Kurt said to all of them at large. “Logan is not known for just waiting for anyone.” Kurt looked to Brye and handed her the GPS tracker. “Since it was your idea, you take the lead.” 

She looked wide-eyed for a second before she just nodded and looked to the other two before she added, with a small smile Kurt’s way, “If we have to carry him, we get an A, not just a ‘pass’.”

“Most definitely,” Kurt agreed.

Brye led them through the Savage Lands with a concentrated sort of look on her face as they made their way toward the base of the volcano, where they were picking up a signal from Logan’s comm. And while Kate and Kurt were certainly concerned about the missing kids and Logan, they both had to share a little smile when they saw how their little group was quietly encouraging each other the whole way over, with Rico promising to beat up anyone who got too close to the two girls and Brye just determinedly leading the way as Tammy had borrowed Brye’s intermediate bow and kept an eye out for the whole group.

To their surprise, there were few animals moving anywhere near the base of the mountain. The rumbling volcano seemed to be chasing off most of the wildlife, which only meant bad things in the immediate future. 

Brye paused in leading the little group when a particularly flighty bird seemed to be chirping at her insistently and turned back to the group with a deep frown. “We’re going to want to get out of here fast as soon as we find them,” she said. “The birds are saying we’re all stupid for going  _ toward  _ the volcano.” 

“We should move quicker then,” Tammy said quietly, though she was smirking to herself. “If saving the instructor gets a pass, losing him has got to be bad for the grades.” 

Kate snorted and nodded her agreement. “Automatic fail,” she agreed in a teasing whisper.

When they finally did reach the base of the volcano, they tried to stay out near the outskirts of where it looked like the locals had corralled their friends  — all of them tied up and caged, though there wasn’t any immediate sign of Logan until Kate noticed the divot of a cleverly-disguised pit close to the cages. 

“So, what do you think we should do first, hmm?” Kurt said quietly, addressing their little rescue group. “Try to talk to the locals that have captured our friends, fight them outright, or try to sneak up to them and release them?” 

“Well  — we have to get going, right? The birds are yelling at us?” Rico pointed out, glancing at Brye. “So  — just grab our friends and run?”

“Alright, you take the lead on it then,” Kurt said gesturing toward the captive classmates. 

Rico looked surprised for just a second before he just nodded. “Okay ... um. I bet I can slice through the ropes if we can get Wolverine to cut the locks,” he reasoned, holding up one clawed hand. “So who wants to climb in the pit?”

“I can get him out,” Tammy offered with a shy little wave. 

“He’s heavier than he looks,” Kurt warned. 

“Well, I’m stronger than I look,” Tammy replied, smiling softly. 

Kurt couldn’t help but to grin at her. “Have at it then,” he told her with a wave in the direction of the pit.

The three kids shared a look and just nodded at each other as Rico scuttled over to the cages and Tammy slipped over to the pit with Brye, who looked a bit concerned that her friend might not  _ actually  _ be strong enough. 

Tammy peeked over the top of the pit and gave a little finger wave when she saw Logan. “We’re here to rescue you,” she said, and though only her eyes were visible over the edge of the pit, she was smirking. “Stay still.” With that, she reached out a hand, her eyes closed in concentration as Brye watched her back while she just focused on lifting Logan up and out of the pit. Though, it wasn’t exactly easy with the ground rumbling with more frequency. 

She faltered a few times and nearly dropped him once, but Tammy did manage to levitate him out, and as soon as she got him high enough that he could get a hand on the edge and lift himself up the rest of the way, she let out a sigh of relief and then looked over at Brye, who was grinning. “So  — this totally counts as carrying my instructor. Automatic A,” Tammy declared, which just got her best friend to grin that much wider.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Logan grumbled as he pulled himself out. 

Brye giggled at her friend. “Mr. and Mrs. Elf said we pass if we save the instructor.” 

“Oh, are you callin’ em that to their faces now?” Logan asked with a pointed look. 

She laughed and shook her head. “No, but they’re watching Rico,” she pointed out, tipping her head to where Kate and Kurt were, indeed, on the other side of the clearing. 

“Alright, so I’m guessin’ they made this into a learning experience, right? So what do Mom and Dad want you to do next?” Logan asked, brushing off the worst of the dirt from his jeans. 

“Rico says he can cut the ropes if you can cut the locks,” Tammy explained. “So we came to get you.”

“Alright, lead the way,” Logan offered with a tip of his head. 

The two girls grinned as they did their best sneak over to the cages, where Rico was waiting for them and waved one clawed hand at Logan. “Hey! So far so good,” he said, sounding surprised, which had both of the girls grinning again. 

Logan didn’t wait for the kids to get it together before he darted over and slashed through the locks. He looked around the area in general as Rico scuttled into the cages to start cutting ropes only to realize that the locals had flat cleared out. “Might want to pick up the pace,” he said quietly. “I don’t think we have to sneak anymore.” 

Brye looked up at the volcano and let out a low whistle. “Oooh, this is why the birds said we’re stupid.” 

The whole of the student body and Logan all glanced up as sparks started to fly. No one needed to be told to run  —  and before they were too far toward the exit, Logan shouted for Kurt to get to work. 

Kurt didn’t need to be told twice, and in a quick succession of teleports, he just started to pick up the kids and teleport them out to the blackbird  — until all of them were safely back in the jet, wide-eyed and panting but grinning all the same, probably half from adrenaline. 

When finally all of them were on board, they all buckled up as the wildlife began to run past them  —  and Kate had a time getting the plane up and out without getting hit  — but they were soon on their way, circling the Savage Land as the kids got to watch the volcano erupt. 

“Do we have to go back?” Tammy asked hesitantly. “Or does this count as a completed trip?” 

“I thought we passed if we did the rescue,” Rico said half under his breath. “Not that that’s why we did it,” he added quickly. 

Logan just looked over at the three kids that had done most of the heavy lifting. “That’s fine and good for you three  — the other five?” 

Kurt just shook his head at Logan with a smirk before he turned to the kids. “You don’t have to go back  — it’s only a biannual field trip, not the end of the world,” he said. 

“You are taking all the fun outta this, Elf,” Logan said with a little growl. But the point was thrown out of the window when Kate’s phone chimed again. 

“She’s got Noh involved now,” Kate said with a disbelieving laugh as she showed Kurt and then Logan the picture of K and Noh saluting each other with coffee and pancakes. 

“Why do you sound surprised?” Logan asked. 

“I thought she’d get to America first for sure,” Kate said, still shaking her head. “And how’d she pry him away from the future Mrs. Varr anyway?”

Not thirty seconds later, another text came through  — this one with Jubilee and America instead, their arms entwined as they saluted her with their mugs. 

“I stand corrected,” Kate said, chuckling.

“She put whiskey in the coffee, didn’t she?” Logan asked, shaking his head. 

“I wouldn’t put it past her.”

“Should we rescue your friends or let them reap what they’ve sown?” Kurt said, grinning broadly. 

“Oh, they’re young. They have to learn their own lessons,” Kate teased. 

Kurt just laughed and pressed a kiss to her cheek before he turned his attention back to the kids. “Alright, pop quiz time  — and everyone must answer differently.” He smiled Kate’s way. “What did you learn from your trip to the Savage Land?” 

 

“That there is money to be made betting on us,” Kate said without hesitation. 

 

“You’re not eligible  — throws the bet,” Logan shot her way, and she just rolled her eyes at him.

  
There were a variety of answers  — most of them semi-serious, and almost all of them survival-related, though Tammy said that Wolverine was heavier than he looks and Hisako grumbled that one should never fall asleep in the Savage Land. 


	2. Are You Sure It's Not Symptomatic?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kart and Logan return with the kids, gravity defying things occur, and a plan falls into place.

 

When they returned, no one was there to greet them in the hangar, and the students quickly dispersed, complaining about bug bites and dirt  — most of them just looking for a shower and a safe bed. Kate led the way upstairs, though, where there seemed to be a small party going on in her office. 

It seemed that Logan really hadn’t been too far off in his guess that K had spiced up the coffee, as all those in attendance  — except the main perpetrator herself  — were absolutely wasted. America, Noh, and Jubilee were all visibly drunk, and K was just  _ giggling _ . 

America was the first to greet Kate at the door, pick her up, and kiss her right on the nose. “Princess, you ran away, didn’t you? Scared of the dinos?” she asked with a wide grin. “You’re not supposed to be back yet!”

“I was going through coffee withdrawals,” Kate said, looking around the office and shaking her head at the group of them. “Plus, you know, there was a volcano.”

“Do I need to fight it?” America asked, and Kate just laughed.

“No. We kicked its butt without you.”

“Really? Rude.” America sat down, folded her arms and glared at Kate as Kate just started to giggle uncontrollably at her friend. 

“You missed the singing,” K said over Kate’s shoulder. 

“Oh, really?” Kate turned to face K with a wide grin. “How long did it take Noh to bust out the records?”

“Longer than I thought,” she said gesturing over to where he and Jubilee were ‘trying to keep from ‘flying off the earth’ from all the spinning. “He’s a little dizzy. Thinks he’s going to fly off into orbit if he doesn’t hold on. He caught on pretty fast that the coffee was fun and might have outdone America.” 

Kate snorted. “Well at least he has a very cute anchor,” she pointed out. 

“She’s totally humoring him,” K replied with a crooked sort of grin Jubilee’s way. “Every time he gets  _ so concerned  _ she just breaks out laughing.” She put both hands in the space between Kate’s shoulders and ushered her forward. “Try it. Ask how he’s doing.” 

Kate had to take a second to compose herself into enough of a serious expression that she could even  _ approach  _ Noh before, very quietly, she slipped over and asked, “Hey, Noh, you doing okay?”

“Kate, my friend  — you missed everything,” he said, but as soon as he tipped his head to look back at her, he let out a little ‘ooh’ and clutched a giggling Jubilee again. “I fear my mass density has shifted in some way. What was in the coffee to do such a thing?”

“It was just Irish,” K told him with a wide smile. 

“They should not have such gravity-defying technology in their drinks,” Noh said, very seriously. 

“It’ll wear off eventually,” K swore as Logan just shook his head at her. “Quicker if you can walk outside for a little while.” 

“No,” he said, wide-eyed. “Here there are walls to catch me.”

K fell apart in a fit of laughter as she leaned on Logan, her arm across her stomach. “Oh, I like him so much.” 

“You’re a terrible influence,” Kurt said seriously. 

“That’s why we came to play,” America pointed out loudly from where she was practically sitting backwards with how far tipped over she was in her chair. “Terrible, terrible influences.  _ All _ of us.” She let the chair come crashing back to all four feet as an illustration of her point before she got up to cross the room.

“How was the trip?” K asked as America threw an arm around Kurt’s shoulders. 

“You know, the usual,” Kate said with a smirk. “The kids had to rescue Logan.”

“Little hairy for a damsel in distress,” K said, still laughing at Noh. 

“Well, we  _ were  _ in the Savage Lands,” Kate chuckled. “Slim pickings.” She playfully pulled America’s arm off of Kurt so she could claim her Elf. “You know. Since the  _ good one’s _ taken.” 

“Was he a damsel in distress too?” Jubilee asked as she tried to settle Noh down a bit from his most recent bout with dizziness. 

“Not at all,” Kurt said with a small smile. “Kate and I were only there for entertainment, apparently.”

“Entertainment how?” K asked “Didn’t think you were doing sex ed. At least. Not with a live show.” 

Kurt gave her a  _ look _ as Kate just shook her head. “The kids’re betting on how long it takes us to start flirting? I think?”

“Oh, right. Yeah. Who won?” 

“Wait, you were in on this too?” Kate asked, then stopped. “Wait  — I’m not surprised.”

“Well I knew, sure,” she replied. “Kinda be stupid to NOT know about that. America had you down for fifteen minutes. I gave you more credit. Forty five.” 

“Actually, Brye won,” Logan said. “Made it all the way past putting up the shelters this time.”

K made a show of staring at him open-mouthed and wide eyed. “They made it a whole  _ three hours _ ? Shut up.” Logan just started to chuckle as he nodded in response. “I want a recount. Someone clearly missed something.” 

“They must just be getting old,” America deadpanned as she slipped into the nearest seat and put up her feet to resume her backwards sitting. “Too tired out from the birthday weekend.” 

“That’s actually a good point,” Logan said, tipping his head her way. “Nobody figured in the fatigue they came home with.” 

“Are you sure it’s not … symptomatic?” Noh asked from the floor with a wide grin that had Jubilee clutching her stomach and trying not to fall apart in giggles all over again. 

“Noh, not you too!” Kate said, making a show of looking betrayed. 

“They have made a fine case to explain everything away,” he said seriously. “It’s caused some concerns.” 

“You,” she said, pointing her finger at him as he grinned up at her, “are asking for trouble.”

“Not too late for the shotgun wedding in Vegas, chica,” America said quietly. “Clint is just a phone call away.” K looked positively delighted as she started to side step to the door with Logan.

“I want to be Godmother!” Jubilee called out. “You’ll need one of those, right?”  

“Careful, Jubes  — or I’ll rub my glitter all over you and you’ll be laying eggs,” Kate warned. 

“That is not how — ” Noh started to say, but Kate just cut him off.

“A whole brood of little Kree sparklers. Like, ten of them at once,” she said, leveling her finger at Jubilee. “So much glitter.” 

“Great, you can babysit!” Jubilee cackled and waved at Logan while he and K slipped out of the madness, shaking their heads at the group of younger heroes.

“Oh, but I’ll be too busy with my  _ demon symptoms _ ,” Kate countered, both hands on her hips. “No, no. That’s all you, Jubes.”

“First the wedding! You need the wedding, right? Sparkles and sunshine,” Jubilee laughed. “What color do you want to wear?” 

“Yeah, you’re the sparkles and sunshine wedding,” America said with a huge, crooked grin on. “Sparkles,” she said, pointing at Jubilee, then turned to Noh. “Sunshine.”

“That’s what I said.” Jubilee grinned. “What color do you want to wear?” 

“Red,” America said without hesitating, then looked to Kate. “She’d look good in a deep maroon, don’t you think?”

“We have to figure this stuff out,” Jubilee said seriously. “And you’re going to be there, so you need to help.” 

“Maybe you should wait until you will remember what you’ve decided,” Kurt suggested with a grin as he watched his friend with her hands in a drunk Kree warrior’s hair still giggling to herself despite her serious expression. 

Jubilee shook her head slowly. “Nuh-uh, nope.” She pointed to the bookshelf across the way. “K made sure to set up surveillance for us, so we don’t have to remember anything.” 

“How thoughtful of her,” Kate said dryly as she went to inspect the shelf in question so she could be sure to remove the cameras later. 

“It might also be so Logan could get a good laugh at our earlier conversation, I’m not entirely sure.” 

“And what were you guys talking about?” Kate asked, grinning over at Kurt  — neither of them was quite able to keep a straight face at the state of their friends. 

“Baby Sunglasses,” Noh said with a giggle. 

“Is  …  is that like a real conversation or like my demon pregnancy?” Kate asked with wide eyes. 

He paused for a moment, then picked his head up with a little frown. “I’m not entirely sure.” 

Kurt glanced at Kate, some of the smile gone, and then asked, “Well, who started the conversation?” 

The two on the floor looked confused for a moment as they tried to remember. “There was a joke about being careful,” Jubilee said. “But I don’t know who started it.” She waved her hand. “Check the tape!” 

“We sure will,” Kate promised before she shot Jubilee a wicked grin. “And you know, whoever it was  — they were right. You two  _ should  _ be careful. Last thing you need is  _ Logan  _ with a shotgun.”

Jubilee looked at her for a minute, turned to Noh, and then burst out laughing. “He doesn’t need a shotgun!” 

“And there is no reason to bring weapons to a wedding!” Noh added earnestly before he let out a little ‘ooh,’ having obviously overdone it, and leaned back into Jubilee’s lap. 

“No, of course not,” Kate assured him as she affectionately ruffled his hair and then looked over at Kurt. “Come on, sweetheart, let’s leave the wedding planning to the drunks. I think the bamfs have been babysitter-less long enough.” 

“Your wish is my command,” Kurt told her with a smile before the two of them disappeared in a cloud of smoke. “Scott will find them if they wander out of your office,” he assured her. 

“The way Noh was, I doubt he’s leaving anytime soon,” she laughed quietly. 

“We should do something about that,” Kurt said with narrowed eyes, looking almost absently over his shoulder as if he could see through their door to the office and the insanity still going on in there. 

“What, the spinning?” Kate asked. 

“No  — the reason he was spinning,” Kurt replied as he turned back her way and lightly shook his head as he seemed to be thinking something over. “The grace period is over.” 

Kate grinned impishly up at him. “Well you know, I’ve been told that water is good for those with drinking problems.” 

Kurt smiled at her and nodded. “Yes, but it’s not Noh and Jubilee that need to get some comeuppance.” 

Kate grinned wider. “Tell me about your evil plans, oh demonic lover mine.” 

“That’s just it,” he said. “She’s going to be hard to hit.” 

“But not impossible,” Kate said thoughtfully. “I mean, you gotta take the shot.”

“No, not impossible. I doubt Logan would stop us either. But I don’t think he’d  _ help _ .” Kurt looked thoughtful. “Scott however — ” 

“Would love the chance at revenge,” Kate supplied with a little laugh. 

“So what can we do to a highly suspicious girl with enhanced senses and not get caught?” He shook his head slowly. “We may need to wait until morning and enlist the help of a hungover professional.” 

“You mean like America?” Kate asked with a slowly growing grin. “Because… you know… she showed me this one dimension where everything is exactly the same except for the gravity… Which, if you’re not from there? Means you just sort of... float away. Helplessly.”

“That ... sounds a bit more elaborate than I was considering. Jubilee, our resident prank queen, might have a few ideas.” 

“She’s an evil genius too,” Kate agreed with a smirk before she just stood on her toes to kiss him. “But either way  — we’d have to wait until morning,” she added in a little whisper.  

“Entirely true,” Kurt agreed smiling before he kissed her gently and put aside planning K’s comeuppance  — for the time being. 

* * *

The simulation in the Danger Room had just ended, and while the team had definitely won, Scott wasn’t exactly pleased with the performance. The Sentinels in the sim had been able to grab a few of the team members before they could take them down, and Scott was already working up his pointers as the hard light faded out. 

“K, you could have taken down the Sentinel after Jubilee much faster if you’d just used your claws,” Scott pointed out with a frown. 

“I took it down without them,” K countered, crossing her arms. “It wasn’t a problem.” 

“The problem is while you were wrestling, the rest of the team had to rescue Bobby while you could have helped,” Scott shot back. 

She just responded with a  _ look  _ and her hip popped out. “Wow. You know, you can’t coast on cute forever, right?” 

“If you can’t take a little constructive criticism without sniping at my looks, you’re not going to mesh well with the team as fast as you should.” 

“That’s fine, I’m not sure I want to,” she replied with a shrug. “Perfectly happy to just  — not. Especially since you  _ asked  _ me to join in on your little game.” Logan smirked her way and Scott looked as if he was getting a migraine. 

He had one hand on the bridge of his nose as he shook his head at her. “Look  — I get it. You can handle yourself. But that is  _ not  _ the point of this exercise.”

She let out a weary sigh. “I don’t think you do get it. It’s not about how well I can handle things,” she replied in a tone very similar to what Scott had heard Annie use on her Kindergarteners. “You want me to use my claws, but ….It. Hurts. I try to avoid that. No oush. Got it? Besides  — aren’t you telling  _ him  _ to use less claws all the time? It balances out.” 

“That’s not — ” Scott let out a frustrated noise. “I wasn’t talking about him  — this is an individual as well as a team exercise.” He shook his head at her. “If you don’t want to use your claws, then  _ tell someone why  _ so we don’t expect your help that way.” 

“I thought you knew? Didn’t he ever mention that it hurts to use them?” K asked with her head tipped to the side. 

“Everyone’s mutation is different,” Scott pointed out. “And everyone uses theirs different.”

“So … you think some mutations don’t supply you with nerve endings?” she asked slowly with a disbelieving look on her face. “That just doesn’t make sense. But .. okay. Oh.  _ Hey _ . That part back there? With the razor sharp knives that tear through my hands? That … that doesn’t feel very good. At all.” 

“Yes, thank you, you’ve made your point,” Scott snipped. 

“You’re very welcome,” K replied with an almost perky grin as Logan chuckled. “Glad to be of service.” 

He gave her his very best glare before, without looking away, he said, “Alright, team, that’s it for tonight. We’ll run this again next session  — and Bobby, try not to get captured. Pay attention to the side streets when you’re in the air so you don’t get sideswiped again.” 

But  — as the team dispersed, Scott made a point to stop Kurt with one hand on his arm, waiting until the others had gone before he said, in a low tone, “You still trying to come up with a good way to get her?” 

“Unless you’re going to have some sort of problem with that, yes, yes I am,” Kurt replied carefully. 

Scott nodded thoughtfully. “You know, I think she gets along well with Kate. We could probably send them on a mission together,” he said. “I know Kate was telling me she and the other Hawkeye usually meet up with Deadpool around the holidays, and Thanksgiving is just around the corner,” he added with a pointed look at Kurt. “Unless you had other plans I don’t know about.”

“No, I don’t … do you think that would work?” Kurt asked as he glanced past Scott to make sure they weren’t being overheard. 

“If she gives Wade an inch, you know it will,” Scott said with the beginnings of a smirk growing. 

“You’re banking on her being as irritated with Wade as Logan gets,” Kurt said. “This could backfire spectacularly if she gets along with him. She might bring him to dinner.” 

Scott thought it over for a moment and then shrugged. “I guess it’s Kate’s call, since she’ll be running things.” He smirked the slightest bit. “But if it backfires, and he comes to dinner, Bobby’s cooking Friday night anyway.”


	3. Aww, Wade, No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Hawkeyes team up in one of their many Hawkeye/Deadpool holiday outings... only this time they've brought K, and she is very quickly unamused with how excited Wade is to meet her.

 

* * *

Kate, as it turned out, thought it was a _spectacular_ idea to bring K along for the ride for a Hawkeyes reunion.

"C'mon, K," she said as she draped her arm over the older woman's shoulders. "You haven't met Lucky yet. This is a _shame._ "

"If you say so," K replied lightly before they headed into the old apartment building.

Kate was still grinning as they made their way up to Clint's apartment, though it took them a bit longer than usual, because the residents hadn't seen Kate in a while and all seemed to want to say hi — but eventually, they made it to the apartment.

Kate fished out her key to the place and grinned at K before she let them both in, and Lucky immediately bounded over to all but tackle Kate before she just started to spoil him, rubbing his ears and then his tummy and getting licked everywhere in the process.

"Guess he was seriously Kate-deprived," Clint said with a chuckle as he got up from the couch to wave K's way. "Katie said she was bringing a friend," he said in greeting.

"I guess that's me," K replied with a little wave. "Hello." She stepped around the mess of golden dog and giggling girl to introduce herself quietly while Kate was busy.

"Nice to meet you in person," Clint said with a grin. "I've been hearing stories from the gaggle of small children that is Kate's posse."

"I am so sorry about whatever vicious lies they have told," K told him with a little smile.

"Yeah, we'll have to see if they were lies or not," he countered, still grinning as he tipped his head Kate's way. "Wade says he's on his way, but Ooper cut off his card again, so he's hitching."

"They even _let_ him have an account again?" Kate asked in disbelief as Lucky continued to make groaning noises as Kate rubbed his chest.

"Well, they figured out he was charging it to Logan's and shut that down, so he pretended to be Logan setting it back up." K snickered at that and took a seat near Clint.

"Well that's their fault for being gullible then," Kate said, shaking her head as Clint just laughed and nodded his agreement. "How's tricks, Hawkeye?"

"Same old, Hawkeye," Clint replied with a shrug. "Running the New Avengers again — your magician friend is back on the team."

"Yeah, he told me Strange finally let him out for a while," Kate said with a laugh. "He stop turning your arrows into jelly, then?"

"That happened one time, Katie Kate. One time."

"And it was immortalized eternally. Teddy's a great photographer," Kate shot back, still laughing as Clint made a face at her.

He just shook his head. "And how about you and your X-nonsense?" he teased. "Do any time travel yet?"

"Oh, I'm working up to that. They don't let you do that until you've been on the team for at _least_ six backwards years."

"Well how do you count backwards from the future events?"

"That's an X-Men secret," Kate said very seriously. "You can't learn it unless you join up."

"Uh-huh." Clint just shook his head at her. "So I should expect to hear about your trip to the alternate future this Christmas, right?"

There was a gentle knock on the door that had both Hawks grinning at each other. "I'll get it," Kate offered, giving Lucky one last little belly rub before she ran to the door, where Wade was waiting and had his hand still raised like he was ready to knock a little louder just in case. "How was hitching, Wade?" she teased. "I heard they cut off your Ooper account again."

"It's not _my_ account anyway," he said with a very pompous puff of his chest before he just picked her up in a hug.

She laughed and hugged him right back, and when he set her down, she leaned forward with a conspiratory whisper: "You know, Logan's girlfriend heard about how you've been using his name to get rides." She tipped her head K's way. "Enhanced hearing. _And_ we just straight up told her, too."

K turned to Clint "She's crazy, you know that, right? Your little protege?"

"She's Hawkeye," Clint said with an easy shrug as if that explained everything.

K just smiled at him. "I think I like you. Good attitude, not afraid to admit you're crazy."

Clint just smirked at her. "Wait until the day's over and then you can decide."

"Wanna stand up and give me a twirl? I'll tell you right now."

Clint grinned like this was just the opening he'd been waiting for. "Hey, Wade," he called out. "She wants a twirl. Strike a pose with me."

Wade bounded over with the grin obvious even behind his mask as he got right up next to K and put one arm over her shoulders. With the other hand, he made a little twirling motion. "Alright, Hawkeye. Give us a spin," he said. "Nice and slow, right, Lady Wolverine?"

K chuckled just a bit and turned away from him slowly. "Right. This your boyfriend, Hawkeye? Because you two would be an _adorable_ couple."

"I _know_ ," Wade said with an almost breathless gasp. "I mean, look at the archer arms. Specimen!"

"Shoulders," K agreed. "Definitely the shoulders."

He turned to grin at her, his face inches from hers. "I'm twirling next. But it's not my shoulders you gotta watch for."

She broke down laughing at that and nodded. "Okay, but make sure Clint gets the full show."

"I _need_ my eyes, thanks," Clint pointed out, making a face.

"Oh, honey bear, that's no way to talk about me in front of mixed company!" Wade said. He made a point to cover K's ears with his hands but still _loudly_ whispered, "There are ladies present!"

"Did you two want to be alone?" K asked seriously, both eyebrows raised. "We can come back in twenty minutes."

"Don't — don't give him an opening like that," Kate said, giggling. She made her way over to pinch Clint's cheek. "I like my sidekick in one piece."

"Not your sidekick."

"Uh-huh." She grinned over at Wade, who was giving her a thumbs-up. "C'mon, don't we have, like, a Hydra hideout to spy on?" She pulled her arm through Clint's. "I'll take you, Hawkeye. Keep you safe from the walking sexual harassment suit."

"You gonna let her talk about you like that?" K asked, completely serious as she looked to Wade.

"Aww, she doesn't mean it. She loves me, don't you, Katie bug?" he asked Kate's way, and she just laughed.

"Oh, yeah," she agreed, which got Wade giggling and poking K in the ribs.

"You hear that? Ooh. We — we can't let the Bamfmaster know. Shhh. It's a secret."

"Didn't she tell you about the baby?" K said with a wicked grin Kate's way. "Demon morning sickness."

Wade let out a sound not unlike a Southern Baptist preacher about to condemn a congregation. He then all but fell against K, fanning himself as she cringed from the noise. "Upon my word!" he said in an exaggerated accent. He kept fanning himself for some time before he very suddenly straightened up and pretended to roll up his sleeves without even moving his uniform. "Well, I gotta go have me a talk with an X-Man. Clint! Get my shotgun!"

K had one hand over her mouth as she turned away from the scene Wade was making, shaking with restrained laughter.

Kate had her hands on her hips and was grinning right back at K. "Oh, don't let her fool you, Wade. She's just trying to deflect from the baby Wolverine."

"That's entirely true," K said, straight-faced.

Wade let out the most delighted noise, nearly a shriek, and just ran right up to her to throw his arms around her. "CONGRATULATIONS!" he shouted at full volume before he just crouched to poke his nose nearly into her stomach. "When does he say his first 'bub'?"

"Oh my God, where did you find him?" K chuckled.

"Nobody knows," Clint said dryly, as Wade just pressed his face almost into K's belly button, muttering to the nonexistent baby about how many snickety-snikt adventures his Uncle Deadpool was going to take him on.

K had to hold onto his shoulders to stay upright as she laughed and shook her head. "I was joking. No little Wolverines. Sorry."

Wade looked up at her and clutched a hand to his heart. "You — you can't mess with my hopes and dreams that way!" he accused her, falling to the floor, still clutching his heart, now with both hands.

"Clearly, I can," K replied. "And to be fair, I didn't realize they were _your_ hopes and dreams."

He stayed on the floor for some time before a huge grin broke out over his face and he scrambled to his feet to put his arm over her shoulders and stick his face right in her ear. "Clearly your man doesn't get it. I have tips. Get out a notepad."

"He does exactly what he's supposed to," she countered as she reached up and patted the hand he had on her shoulder.

"Are you _suuuure_?" Wade asked.

"I checked. Twice."

"And was he naughty?"

"I wouldn't keep him if he wasn't."

Wade got right up in her face, head tilted to one side as he was studying her. "Alright. You can date him. For _now_ ," he allowed before he stuck a finger in her face. "But I expect twins to make up for the _shameful lies_."

She grinned and raised her right hand. "I promise to break his healing factor the fun way as soon as I get back."

He leaned against her and let his knees go slack. "Careful, missy, talk like that makes a fella weak in all sorts of places," he said, leaning against her as he just set his head on her shoulder and she was forced to more or less hold him up.

"Girls don't like to hear about what places they make _weak_. And — you know — careful yourself, pal, I'm told my boy toy's kinda stabby."

"He is, isn't he?" Wade said cheerfully. He didn't pick up his head from her shoulder and just looked up at her. "You better be careful. He plays rough. Stabbity-stab. Doesn't feel good."

"I'm not worried," she replied.

"She can heal," Kate supplied helpfully, which just got the highest-pitched squeal yet out of Wade as he picked K up around the waist and spun her around the room.

"Oh, where have you BEEN all my life?" he declared as he just kept spinning her. "It took them FIVE volumes to get to you. Shameful!"

"You, my dear, are a tiny bit loud," K said quietly in his ear.

He let out a girlish giggle and dropped his voice to a low whisper. "Oooh. Right. Yes. Super ears. How about I just whisper sweet nothings instead? Or we could skip that part."

"You never skip that part," she shot back.

This just had him grinning wider. "Ooh, yes. Got to treat the lady right," he said as he just kept whispering in her ear. He stopped in his spinning, paused, and looked Kate's way for just a second before he broke out into a laugh. "Yes. Yes, I have been schooled in this sort of thing. You have to stand right there. Don't move," he informed her before he seized one of her hands and kissed it, though it was not at all tender and was very very loud.

K scrunched up her nose and pulled her hand back. "Easy, tiger."

"No, no — you're supposed to tell me to start talking again," he said, shaking his finger at her. "Didn't you go to Kart school? Don't you know anything? At all? About anything?"

"No, no I do not follow the Nightcrawler school of flirting," she replied. "Or I'd be breaking Nightcrawler."

"Oh, don't do that," he said seriously. "He's a good bamf." He grabbed her hand again and studied it closely, right up in front of his nose. "Alright, so what does Wolverine do with these?"

K raised an eyebrow at him and pulled her hand back again. "Yeah, that's a big no."

"So he _doesn't_ use hands," Wade surmised with a thoughtful nod, striking a pose with his hand on his chin. "Yes, yes that is very different from the Kart school. Tell me more. I need examples." He grinned at her and sidled right back up next to her.

She turned her head a bit but didn't take her eyes off of him. "Don't we have something we're supposed to be doing? Mission of some sort?"

Clint just smirked. "Yeah, we do," he said as he shrugged Kate's way. "I call shotgun. Katie, you drive."

"Oooh, did we rent a limo?" Wade asked. "Or _can we_?"

"No, we just have Kate's small. Squished. Tiny car," Clint said, grinning ear to ear. "C'mon, Kate. Let's stake out our stakeout."

The entire way down to Kate's car, Wade was just hanging on K, asking her every possible tip he could think of in the Wolverine School of Romance — and all at a very low tone after Clint reminded him that there were kids in the building. So K was the only one who could hear his very detailed questions, though she refused to answer any of them. This didn't seem to deter Wade, though, who simply decided to infer his own answers from her silence and inform her of each of the answers in increasingly descriptive ways.

"You have a very interesting imagination," K said his way.

"Well, what else is a guy to do with so much _material_?" Wade asked. "I mean. The huffs. The silence. The stares. You just say it all, don'tcha?"

"If you say so," she said with a shrug.

By the time the four of them climbed into Kate's car, both Hawkeyes were grinning at each other when Wade insisted on taking the middle seat and was all but crawling into K's lap. "You're so _tiny_ ," he was saying as they climbed into the car. "You're — you're even smaller than your boyfriend. How'd he _find_ you?" He had his hands up on either side of his face like he was measuring her before he just put both hands on her waist, held them up, and tutted. "Skin and bone."

"Metal bone," Kate added, which just got another squeal, though he immediately clapped his hands over his mouth.

"Sensitive ears," he stage-whispered, pointing at K before he let out his breath in a fake crowd cheer, both hands raised like he was scoring a touchdown. He patted K's knee a few times with a little nod. "Don't you worry, tiny, tiny metal K. The big ol' kitty cat has a hard time with metal bones, even if you're bite-sized."

"That's how we found her," Kate told him. "Scott headed up the rescue."

Wade clapped his hands together delightedly. "YES. Oh yes. Yes — the Fearless Leader. Oh, Mr. Sunglasses. Finding true love for his frenemy. This — this is what dreams are made of, ladies and gentlemen!" He patted K's knee again and then grinned and more or less flipped himself over to land with his head in her lap and look up at her. "Tell me more such romantic stories. My heart's all aflutter, tiny, tiny metal one."

"Maybe you should have Scott find you a match," K said. "I'll bet he could rescue you some special girl in a jumpsuit. Might have stripes on it though."

He picked his head up to stare at her, right in her face, and say, very seriously, "We talked about this, mean lady. You shouldn't say things that get my hopes up."

"Who said I was mean?"

"You _lied to me_ about my nephew!" Wade said, flopping back into her lap dramatically so he could turn his head to look at her middle. "Nothing in there. Nothing at all. So sad."

"I'm fine with it, actually," she replied. "Thanks. You'd be smarter to hang your hopes and dreams on her," K said as she tipped her head toward Kate. "She's at least known her little demon for a while."

Wade let out a dramatic sigh and very gently patted her cheek. "Oh, you poor girl. You have no idea the hawkcrawler goodness we could be seeing right now."

"The what now?" K asked with a little frown. "What the hell's a hawkcrawler?"

Wade sat up and just cuddled into her to just start illustrating his points as he bopped her on the nose. "The cutest button nose," he said. He tapped her ears. "No pointed ears, sadly." He ruffled her hair. "And black, black hair." He sighed again and laid his head on her shoulder. "And sadly, not to be. Not in this universe, anyway."

"Are you friends with America?" K asked.

"Yes and no?" He leaned in to whisper the next part. "She kicked some very important things into space. Not nice. But it's okay. We decided bygones."

"Glad you worked it out," she replied with a tiny smirk.

By the time they got to where the Hydra base was, the Hawkeyes in the front seats were starting to wonder if this plan would work — but they made it a point to split up for their stakeout.

"Information only," Clint told them. "Unless you get caught — we're just looking. This is part of a bigger operation."

"No problem," K said with a nod as she just headed off toward her vantage point, slipping through the shadows, though Wade ran off to quickly fall into pace just six inches behind her at all times, grinning when she turned to face him.

"What's the plan, Stan?" he asked.

"How about a little breathing room for starters?" she said as she looked up at him.

"But — but we're _partners_ ," he whined. "This is a team-up! The great K and Wade caper! Full of dashing heroics! And — _watching things_!"

"That doesn't mean you have to bump into me every time I stop," she pointed out. "Ease up with the touching."

"Oh, oh, you — you can't say things like that," he said, shaking his head. "No, no — I am a _professional_. I don't bump into anything I don't mean to."

"Then stop meaning to," she replied, still half smirking.

"Well, if you'd stop _avoiding your partner_ ," he said as he tried to thread his arm through hers and she made a quick shift that dislocated his shoulder.

"No touching," she warned.

"See? See? You are _mean_. That's perfect! You're perfect! Wolverine-lady for the Wolverman," he said, nodding and grinning, then paused, "Or is it Wolverlady and Gentle-rine?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head before she just turned around to continue on her path, though to her annoyance, Wade had gone right back to following six inches behind.

The third time he bumped into her again, she straightened up and turned to face him again. "Listen. You seem nice enough. I don't want to hurt you, but I will — you get that, right?"

He nodded very seriously. "But we healing buddies have to stick _together_. Like glue! Or very sticky sweat and a tee shirt on a summer day!"

"I don't — no. Just … no. Stay back, _please_ , or I _will_ hurt you."

He responded by sticking his face in hers, head tilted, before he very slowly poked her in the cheek. "Gonna have to check that you're not a test tube daughter or Wolvie is going to have _problems_."

She looked insulted and swept his feet out from under him, dropping him flat on his back. "No. Touching." Her tone was a lot more final as she glared at him for a moment.

"Yes. Yes, there are definite similarities here," he said as he stuck an imaginary pencil behind his ear before he got to his feet and pulled out an invisible notebook. "Yes, we'll have to check the family tree, Watson. Very disturbing. So worrisome. Can't let our little buddy date his daughter."

"We are _not_ related, you lunatic," K half laughed. "He's not my father or anything even close to it. That's just — no."

He leaned forward, hands behind his back as he studied her. "Hmm. Could be she's telling the truth, my dear Watson. Yes. Could be. But how to tell?"

She chuckled and shook her head. "You're an idiot."

He grinned outright and threw his arms around her in a hug. "Aww — you love me!"

She squirmed and pushed him away. "How the hell did you get that out of me calling you an idiot?"

He just tried to reattach. "It's a term of endearment!" he informed her as he was determined to get his hug. "And you think I'm funny — admit it. You do! I'm an adorable, funny, idiot!"

When he wouldn't let her go, she kneed him hard in the groin, stepping back when he fell to his knees. "You smell." She shook her head at him again and took off at a dead run to climb up the fire escape that would get her to the roof she was supposed to be watching from.

She made it to the rooftop in relative peace, but it wasn't long before Wade's masked head popped up over the top of the roof, the grin obvious. "Hey, neighbor!" he said cheerfully. "Borrow a cup of sugar?"

"Is it even possible for you to just — _not_?" K asked over her shoulder.

"I," he said, drawing himself up, "am an unstoppable force. And a funny, adorable, idiot. Who you love." He climbed up onto the roof and made his way over to her.

"I'm … more or less attached," she told him "So … not an issue."

"Attached where?" Wade asked, looking her over. "Is there — are you hiding him somewhere? A tiny, tiny Wolverine I don't know about?"

"Pretty sure if he was here, you'd know about it," she said dryly.

"You never know. He can be _sneaky_ ," Wade said seriously. "I'm going to have to make a search." He rolled up imaginary sleeves and reached over to start prodding her at the hip first, ready to make a full pat-down.

She swatted his hand away and shot him a look. "Knock it off," she half growled.

He tipped his head at her. "You growled at me!" he said with childish delight. "Oh, Wolverlady, it must be you!" He scooted over until he was practically on top of her. "Yes. Yes, you _must_ be the right lady for my dear, shorty, stabby friend. I will give a speech. It will make you cry. Everyone will cry real tears."

She moved to get away from him, just at a loss for what the hell this lunatic was up to. "Touch me again and you're going to lose that hand. I'm done being nice."

"Ooh, do you have a way to skickety-snikt too?" he asked with genuine delight. "What — overgrown fingernails? Wolver-claws? Do you have a literal fork tongue?" He just started to giggle. "Does _he_ know about the stabby tongue? Does it make kissing hard? I mean — he'd heal, but then there's the whole mess of it…."

"Wade. Stop."

"No, no, I'm really curious here," Wade said, patting her on the shoulder absently as he thought it over. "No — how would you even… hmm… I guess if you skipped the French stuff…"

She grabbed his hand and threw him over her shoulder, drawing his sword off of him to stick it in his face once he hit the ground. "Stop."

"He-e-e-ey." He looked up at her and minutely shook his head. "That's _mine_."

"You want it back?" She had one eyebrow arched high.

"Not in the face, please," he said seriously.

"No. Touching," she said again before she stepped back.

He climbed up to his feet and shook his head at her. "No wonder I don't have a nephew yet. How do you even get to first base with a bubble that big?"

She let out a breath and let her shoulders drop a bit. " _You_ don't."

"That is a very specific set of restrictions."

"Yes it is," she agreed before she simply handed him the sword back, hoping that she'd made her point clear. "Now, I'm going to finish this ridiculous mission — if you don't mind."

He pouted the slightest bit. "It's not ridiculous," he said. "It's a Hawkeyes reunion! Not our fault the bad guys aren't planning anything bigger right now, or we'd be doing that too!"

"Then why the hell am I here?" she said dryly before she shook her head and headed for the ladder and raised her comm to her mouth. "You're hilarious, Hawkeye. I'm out."

"I really am," came Clint's response. "What did I do?"

"Nothing yet, but I'm going to see how far I can get my boot up your ass," K replied. "Don't run, sweet cheeks. You'll just be tired when I kill you."

"Katie, your new friend is mad at me," Clint said.

"Weird. She likes me okay."

"Yeah, well — you and I are supposed to go home together, sunshine," K said to Kate. "I'll get to you later."

"She just can't take it as well as she can dish it out," Kate said sadly, tutting into the comm. "Shameful, really."

K chuckled to herself. "I'm fine as long as there's no touching. I didn't cross that line with you."

"I haven't touched you," Clint said obstinately.

"No — you arranged for the idiot to cop a feel, so I'm going to touch you. Just a little."

"I don't arrange for anything with him. He just follows me around," Clint said.

"I can smell lies, bird boy," she snarled.

"And we're all very impressed."

As K was snarling into her comm, Wade rejoined her, putting his head over her shoulder and resting it there as he grabbed her by the waist. "Who ya talking to?" he asked conversationally.

It happened quick enough that neither Hawk really saw exactly _how_ it happened — just that one moment Wade was doing his overly friendly routine and the next he was lying still on his back in front of K and bleeding profusely from three very deep holes in the center of his chest.

Kate leaned over to Clint. "I hope she realizes there's no hope for her now," she said in a low whisper. "He knows about the claws. This is just gonna make things worse."

"She'll come prepared next time," Clint said with a chuckle. "Or bring Logan."

"C'mon, K," Kate said over the comms. "I'll drive you home and we'll leave these two idiots alone. Let him bother Clint for a while," she said, as Clint looked betrayed.

"Who's idea was it?" K asked almost conversationally as she made her way toward the street.

"I have been sworn to secrecy," Kate said earnestly.

"I have no problem with torture."

"I will call my boyfriend to teleport me away to places unknown."

"Sooner or later, you'll come back for your other boyfriend. Or the dog."

Kate pulled a horrible face as she climbed down the fire escape to the street level. "Clint is _not_ my boyfriend or ... _anything_ like that. Ever."

"Right."

"You're torturing me with the mental image, K. My resolve is weakening."

"Just imagine what your kids will look like — big round cheeks, fluffy blonde hair ... bandages. Drool. He already smells like he filled his pants."

"Can't forget the bandages," Kate said, rolling her eyes. She tossed her keys in her hand and twirled them for a moment before she unlocked the car. "C'mon. We'll go tattle to your boyfriend and he can yell at Wade. It's his second-favorite thing."

"Yeah, I don't need him to do that, thanks," K replied.

"You don't need him to, but oh, do you want him to. It's hilarious." Kate grinned at her. "But yeah, I get it. No overbearing chivalry necessary."

K glared at her for a moment and just kept walking past the car. "You know what? No. Maybe I'll see you around," she said over her shoulder with a wave. "Small space and me right now is not a good idea."

Kate tipped her head at K for a moment and then just shrugged. "I'll make you pancakes in the morning."

"Not interested."

"Okay." Kate paused for a second outside the car and then climbed in. "See ya later, K. Have a good walk."

…..

When Kate pulled her car into the garage, she didn't really feel like talking to Scott or anybody really, but there he was with Kurt, both of them grinning until they saw she'd come back alone.

"Where's K?" Scott asked as if he expected her to pop up from the back seat, but Kate just shook her head.

"Pissed off. Didn't want to be in a small space with me, and that is _not_ something I argue with," Kate said simply as she crossed the garage past the boys. "It worked _way_ too well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Scott asked.

"Well, you wanted her to use her claws," Kate said with a shrug. "And she did. In Wade's chest."

"That's — not exactly what I was expecting her to do," Scott said. "What happened?"

Kate shrugged and let out a very long sigh. "He … was very, very excited to meet another healer, and especially one with metal bones who was dating Wolverine. Just wanted to hug her and hold her and sorta hit on her all the time." She frowned. "He's not that handsy with _me._ "

"What did he do?" Scott asked looking a bit more concerned. "I mean. That got him stabbed."

"Two hours of non-stop touching," Kate said with a raised eyebrow. "I mean. It was funny? For about the first hour? But he just ... didn't stop, and she stopped laughing at him."

"Did he deserve it — in a 'can heal from everything' kind of way?" Kurt asked, his tail still behind him.

"He really kind of did," Kate admitted. "I mean — she warned him off, she even said 'please'. And that was before the dislocated shoulder, sword in the face — I think he just… got too excited. He was beside himself half the time with excitement, honestly."

"Well, when are we supposed to go get her?" Scott asked. "And does she have her comm on?"

"She's got her comm, but I don't know if it's on. She was just going to walk back — I don't have a timetable," Kate told him.

"She's not gonna walk back," Scott said with a frown.

"Don't go after her," Kate advised. "Just let her calm down. And be, you know, less stabby."

"And _you_ get to tell Logan what happened," Kurt said before Scott could get there.

"Yeah, _I'm_ going to bed," Kate agreed. "To, you know, pray to whoever's up there I didn't screw up my new friend. I like having her around." She shot a look Scott's way. "Besides, oh fearless leader, this was _your_ idea."

"I wasn't expecting him to get like that," Scott said, one hand held up in defense. "Annoying sure — but I don't remember him being that touchy."

"He's not usually." Kate said. "I mean, I _like_ him. He's fun. He just… got excited. Honestly. He's _never_ that bad — he was just… there was a whole lot of squealing and fangirling involved."

"Was it her abilities or because she's with Logan?" Scott asked. "I just need a good barometer on how pissed off Logan's going to be."

"Honestly, both, but I think it was _more_ the abilities," Kate told him. "Every time he learned something new, like the metal bones or the healing factor, he just... got _touchier_." She smirked. "The baby Wolverine jokes were actually pretty cute. She laughed at those."

"The what?" Scott asked, looking shocked. "Please don't tell me—"

"They were _jokes_ ," Kate assured him quickly. "Jokes. I swear. Nobody is pregnant. No matter how badly Wade wants a baby Wolverine to play with."

Scott sighed and nodded his head, looking like a bad migraine was already getting started. "Okay then, I guess I'll just ... wait and see what happens before I get him mad. She might get back before there's any trouble."

"Atta boy, boss man. Have a little faith," Kate said with a smirk Kurt's way before she turned back to Scott. "But when you talk to him? Don't die, please. I like you."


	4. Make 'Em Sweat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The X-Men are trying to keep up their day to day routine when a missing feral sneaks back to disappear. But WAIT. She's got someone on her tail. OH NO!

 

To avoid arguments, Logan had taken to avoiding everyone all together unless it was necessary to talk to them. Even Kurt was getting the brush off, and because of that, Scott knew better than to even try. 

It had been a solid two days since ‘the Wade incident,’ and although Scott had gotten a ping on K’s comm  — he found it lying in an alley in Manhattan alongside the uniform that she’d worn on the little mission, with no sign of where she might have gone. 

To say that Scott was not pleased was a vast understatement, and after he’d gotten back from his search, he was found muttering to himself about concerns that Fury would be calling to ask what had happened to her. 

Logan had even gone with him  — and for the first time in Scott’s memory, he’d been unable to find any kind of a decent scent trail, though he informed Scott of this with nothing more than an incredibly irritated glare before he simply headed back to the blackbird and he hadn’t said a word to him since.

Scott really did feel bad about the whole thing.  _ Obviously _ , they hadn’t meant to drive K to  _ leave _ , just get her back for all the other pranks she’d pulled on the various other mansion residents. And since he had been the one to more or less okay the whole thing, it was obvious he felt horrible, grumbly even around Annie, who was doing her best to remain optimistic that this whole thing would blow over soon enough. 

Kate was in a bit of a mood herself, just a bit down and convinced that she had screwed up her friendship with K as she just quietly went about her day doing some business work for her company and her teaching classes. She got the little handwritten note from Clint that said he was sorry things got out of hand and also Deadpool said he would behave after Clint yelled at him a bit  — so she tucked that away in her desk to show to K when she came back  — if she came back.

It was the middle of the day, while everyone was in class, when one of the bamfs heard a noise across the hall from Kurt and Kate’s room and decided to investigate. He poked his head into the room and grinned when he saw that it was K  — who had apparently snuck in unseen. She was in the middle of shoving a few clothes into a bag, and the little guy frowned on seeing what she was doing. He got close to her and tipped his head to the side in question before he uttered his favorite phrase just for K to growl at him and tell him to buzz off. 

He blinked in surprise and did just that, teleporting away  — though he teleported right to Logan’s classroom, on top of the desk, and just started chattering away, because this was  _ important _ . 

Logan stopped in the middle of his lecture and just almost did a double take as the little guy jabbered away. “No, I don’t know where she is,” Logan said, clearly irritated and slightly misunderstanding what the little guy was trying to say. 

The little bamf stamped his foot in frustration before he just grabbed hold of Logan’s shirt and teleported them both out of the classroom  — in the middle of the history lecture — and into K’s room. 

She looked up in surprise for just a moment, then glared at the little guy before she just went right back to packing. 

“Where the hell are you going  — and where have you been?” Logan asked as he took a few steps closer. 

She glanced up at him and shook her head. “I’ve been trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with that idiot that wouldn’t freakin’ back off of me  — and I am... leaving.” She paused in her packing efforts and shrugged lightly before he took the bag out of her hands and shook his head. 

“No, you want to hit someone  — go for it, but you’re not leaving over that moron.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room. “You wanna hide? Make ‘em sweat? Fine. I won’t argue that. But don’t take off on  _ me _ . If you’re still mad when I get back … well, I was going to take off for the weekend anyhow; you should go  _ with  _ me. Unless you’re tired of that too.” 

She considered him for just a moment and then smirked his way before she very slowly nodded and let him take her down to his room. “See you in a few hours,” he told her before he stole a quick kiss. “Unless you wanna let ‘em know what you think right now.” 

When she shook her head, he gave her a little smile. “Couple hours. Don’t leave, or I’ll have to come find you,” he warned. 

“Oh darn,” she said before she watched him close the door behind himself on the way out. With a sigh, she decided that the best way to spend a few hours after being all kinds of irritated for a few days was to change and crawl into bed. 

She kicked the bag toward the closet and stripped down quickly before she took one of his t-shirts and slipped it over her head to curl up in. She’d just gotten settled in and comfortable when the little bamf returned, again looking quizzical. “Go. Away,” K told him before she nestled deeper into the pillows and pulled the blanket up to her nose. 

The little guy tipped his head at her for a second and then teleported away, but it wasn’t for good  — and he returned a little bit later with a flustered Kate, who was holding half a sandwich. 

“What the heck do you  — oh.” Kate paused in berating the little bamf when she saw K and fell very quickly silent with a sheepish look on her face. “I’ll just… leave.” 

K didn’t argue with her on that point and simply rolled over in an attempt to ignore her and get comfortable again.

But the little bamf got right in Kate’s face and pointed a finger at her, jabbering angrily and trying to get in her way as she attempted to leave. “No, you don’t  — would you just — ” Kate let out a frustrated sigh as she tried to sidestep the bamf. “I’m really sorry, K. The little demon… yeah.” 

The little guy just crossed his arms and started jabbering at her again, pointing insistently at K as Kate wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, I  _ know  _ she’s pissed at me,” she told the bamf. “The whole thing was a disaster, okay?” But he just kept blocking her path, chattering slowly and clearly as if it would help, pointing again as Kate looked over and saw that he was pointing at the bag.

“Oh.” Kate frowned before she took a deep breath and looked  — and felt — horribly apologetic . “K, I’m really, really sorry. Really. I wasn’t trying  — please don’t leave.” She didn’t look K’s way but just kind of stared at the ground and shuffled her feet. “Nobody knew he was gonna be that touchy. Usually he’s just… annoying. But it got out of hand, and if it’ll help, Clint yelled at him about it, and Clint doesn’t really yell? And anyway, I’m really, really sorry.” 

The bamf looked between the two women expectantly, but neither of them had anything else to say, and he let out a very frustrated growl  — though he did finally let Kate leave. Still, he didn’t seem to want to let K go anywhere, so he just climbed into her bag and seemed to settle in, arms crossed. 

K had just about fallen asleep  — finally, when the little bamf on her bed startled and poofed over right next to her, shaking her shoulder and staring wide-eyed out the window. “Go. Away,” K said tiredly. “No more visitors. I don’t want to talk to anyone.” She nestled deeper again, pulling the blanket almost to her eyes as the little bamf became more distressed. 

He was pulling on his hair in frustration … If she’d just  _ look _ , she’d have seen the black-clad commandos rappelling down the side of the building. There was one that hadn’t yet climbed onto the balcony when the little bamf huffed and stuck out his lip as he made his decision. He put his little hands into fists and screwed himself up to try and fight this creep that was coming into  _ his  _ home. 

He teleported from next to K to just outside the window, only for the black-clad soldier to grab him by his tail and whip him. Before the little bamf could teleport away, he cracked up against the glass door, and K sat right up and pushed her hair out of her face to gasp at seeing the soldier outside. 

The guy spotted her about the same time she’d seen him, and he quickly slipped onto the balcony and pulled his rifle off his back, but she was already in motion. His first silenced shot broke the glass in the door, but it didn’t slow her down as she tackled him off of the balcony, pounding on him all the way to the ground as the alarms finally started going off. 

It didn’t take long for several of the X-Men to find where the fight was, as first Kurt teleported close enough to see what was going on and then sent bamfs after the others to pull them into the fight  — while the bamf who had tried to help K in the first place got back up from the balcony, gave his head a little shake, and then growled and teleported down to help. 

A group of the soldiers had tried to surround K, and they more or less simply tried to tackle her as several of them were sure to shout to their brothers in arms that they needed to hold her down. She struggled to keep free of them as they made their attempts to grab her, and for a moment  — it looked as if she was going to simply slip out of their grasp until one of them flat tackled her from behind, pinning her arms to her side as he took her to the ground. 

The rest of the X-Men were fighting to get to her and help, the bamfs especially making a little chorus of growls once they heard from the one that had been with K that they were in danger of losing their new playmate. 

The biggest problem for the soldiers trying to take K in was, unsurprisingly, Logan, who was all claws and snarls on his path over to help  — though it seemed like they had expected as much, seeing as pretty much the entirety of the attacking force was either focused on bundling K up — or trying to stop Logan possibly even do the same to him.

Which meant that the rest of the X-Men had an opening.  Noh darted in when one of Scott’s blasts knocked back one of the soldiers, and he didn’t hesitate to grab the guy who had K pinned down and to punch a hole in his chest from behind. “That is no way to treat a lady,” he said to the man as he threw him aside. 

As soon as the man was off of her, she got to her feet, swinging and furious, although, Scott would be once again disappointed by her lack of claws as she started simply breaking the men’s necks any way she could  — all while still wearing little more than Logan’s t-shirt. 

The onslaught was enough to get some of the soldiers to back off of K, though one smart guy thought that it would help their cause if he started shooting. He managed to land two shots on K before Noh headed his way, making contact with the creep an instant after an arrow pinned the soldier’s hand to the offending weapon. 

After he’d landed a punch that sent the guy flying several yards in the air, Noh turned the force of a grin K’s way. “Shall we teach them a lesson, my friend?” he asked with a slight bow, gesturing to the remaining soldiers. 

“They need it,” she replied, livid and shaking. The two of them dove in and got down to work quickly on those that remained, though Scott managed to get close enough to stop her from chasing down those that were already running away once they’d finished with those last few idiots, and for a long moment, the only sound was Logan tearing apart the last few guys who’d tried to stop him. 

Noh looked her over carefully. “Are you alright?” he asked. “You gave those soldiers the fiercest battle; the fiercest I’ve seen from you yet.” 

“They wanted to bring me back with them,” she answered, still shaking  — though it was a toss up if it was from anger or cold. “I was told that we’re not supposed to kill  — but if they try to capture me and drag me back?” She shook her head slowly. “I don’t want the stupid badge.” 

“We’re in full agreement there,” Noh said seriously. 

“We make an exception now and then,” Scott said with a little frown. “These guys are nasty  — but I’m glad they didn’t get to you,” he added, this time with an attempt at a small smile her way. “It, ah, hasn’t really been… the same…”

She turned his way with a blank expression to look him up and down when he trailed off awkwardly but didn’t say anything to him, still keyed up and not in the mood to deal with him. 

Noh looked her over. “Would you be offended if I took you back to your room? I can scale the wall, and you look cold.” 

“Please,” she said quietly as she seemed to shrink on herself a tiny bit, aware of the rips in the shirt and the bloodstains. 

“Your room or Logan’s?” he asked, offering his hand. 

“I don’t really care,” she said. “Whichever.” 

He nodded and then picked her up, running up the side of the wall to the balcony she’d jumped from with the soldier that started this whole mess. When he set her back down again, he just smiled. “It’s good to have you back.”

“Sure,” she said sarcastically, gesturing to the open doors. “I bring the party.” 

“That you do,” he agreed, still smiling. “I know things have been much less fun without you. It is  _ dreary _ .” 

“You’re sweet,” she said before she made her way over to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for the lift, but I think I’m going to just … hide.” 

Noh nodded with a smile. “Any time you need an escalator, let me know,” he joked. 

She turned away from him and didn’t bother waiting for his exit before she removed what was left of that shirt and headed for Logan’s shower. After she’d cleaned up, she slipped on another shirt she snatched from his dresser she simply climbed right back into bed. She pulled the covers up again and very quickly drifted off to sleep, knowing full well that no one was going to even consider trying to sneak up on her now. 

She woke up a little when Logan climbed into bed with her, but she more or less just snuggled in for a few more hours. She finally opened her eyes well after dark when there was the tell-tale sound of a bamf as it appeared right next to the bed, but when it teleported away again, it wasn’t just the smell of brimstone that remained. 

When she looked over at the bedside table, there was a bag full of burgers and fries with a little note drawn on it in purple marker with a sad hawkeye stick figure holding an arrow and a bow that looked like it had been drawn with little bitty bamf hands onto the card with the single, carefully-printed word ‘sorry.’ 

She drew in a deep breath and peeked over her shoulder at Logan only to nestle in again, reconsidering her decision to just take off and disappear. 


	5. Don't Freeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kate, Kurt, Logan, and K go out to Logan's cabin for a little R&R, and K learns a little something about her newfound teddy bear that she does NOT like. At all.

 

* * *

That morning, Kate and Kurt were sitting in the kitchen with their breakfasts, with Kate's head on Kurt's shoulder as usual as she took a much longer time to wake up than he did, but Kurt tapped her arm when Logan and K showed up silently to grab a cup of coffee and settle into a corner together.

"Did you sleep well?" Kurt called out to the two of them. "That was quite the entrance you made."

"It wasn't an entrance," K said quietly. "I'd been here for a while before those asshats showed up." She looked up at the two of them for a moment. "Thanks for the food, by the way. Didn't really want to leave the bed."

Kate gave the faintest of smiles. "No problem," she said, then tipped her head Logan's way. "Didn't think you'd want to leave the teddy bear."

"Hey, let's get something straight right now: I wasn't hugged at _all_ last night. Drop the teddy bear nonsense," Logan told her in no uncertain terms.

"I don't want to know _details_ ," Kate said, wrinkling her nose at him.

"It's hard to be a teddy bear if I'm not getting hugged — isn't that your whole schtick?"

Kate smirked and tipped her head at a couple of the bamfs, who looked up at her, giggled, and teleported over to hug Logan, one on each arm.

"Sending your little blue minions don't count," Logan growled out.

"But they love hugging you," Kate said with a soft smile.

"He's not lying," K said as she snuggled into his side with her coffee just under her nose. "I was getting all the hugs." She looked up at Logan with a little smirk. "Right, _Nallebjörn_?" Logan just smirked and gave her a quick kiss.

"Semantics," Kate said, waving her hand, though she had to chuckle — that was the one word K had taught her in Swedish at the Halloween bash. She smiled cautiously at K. "So — Scott's going to Memphis for Thanksgiving with Annie's family. Which America insists is an invitation for a party."

"How?" K asked with a frown.

"Because no Sunglasses to rain on the fun," Kate said. "Although I think she really just wants to watch Noh spin again. _That_ was quality entertainment."

"Well, glad to help," K said noncommittally. "But if you're going to try your hand at burning the place down, I'm gonna be out for the weekend."

"Then I'll tell her that's a no," Kate said with a shrug, looking back down at her coffee.

"Do what you want to," K said with a little frown. "I'm not going to do anything but try to hibernate. I got cold. It takes time to bounce back from."

"Alright." Kate shrugged. "Probably just gonna stay with the Elf anyway. Don't feel much like burning anything down either."

"Maybe once you've finished healing from the chill, the four of us can find a warmer climate for a weekend," Kurt suggested.

"Like where?" Logan asked.

"We could find an island in the Pacific," Kurt said, then paused. "Of course, if you are intent on proving Kate right, we could find somewhere further North where you could find yourself on the other end of the hugs for warmth," he added with a soft smirk.

"I like the sound of that," K said. "I'm sure Kate wouldn't mind a fire and an Elf either."

Kurt broke into a grin at that, perking up significantly at the suggestion — and most of all the fact that K had seemed to invite them. "Then we're agreed? The four of us — a winter getaway, and some peace and quiet would do us all a world of good, I think."

"Where to?" K asked with a small smile. "I mean, you gotta have someplace in mind, right?"

"Well, Kurt and I found a nice little lodge in Alaska," Kate offered. "We stayed there before Scott's wedding. It was really nice."

"You want to go back to the pre-wedding party spot?" K asked with raised eyebrows. "Feeling nostalgic?"

Kate wrinkled her nose at her. "No, this was — we flew up a few days before everyone else for our _own_ trip. Much more private. They've got cabins you can stay in. Far from people."

"How far?" she asked. "I hate people."

"Pretty darn far, for a lodge," Kate said.

"Could go to the cabin," Logan said with a little shrug. "If you want to avoid people altogether."

"If there is fire, food, and a warm bed, that's good. Less people the better," K said with a nod.

"Excellent." Kurt grinned at Logan. "Why don't you two go up there at the end of the month, and we'll meet you after a few days?"

Logan just nodded his agreement and picked up his paper, bowing out of any further conversation in the matter.

….

First thing in the morning the day after Thanksgiving, K and Logan slipped out and disappeared into parts unknown to most of the mansion to hide away. The only problem that was on the horizon was the cabin's location, which was far removed from any roadway or trail, and at this time of year, it was incredibly hard to get to.

The place was cold, and it took a few hours to get the fire stoked up enough to warm it up, though the two of them didn't seem to notice too badly, seeing as the first thing K did when they got there shortly after dark was to snuggle into bed and try to warm up.

After that, she didn't really see much of the property or the landscape — a little too caught up with the teddy bear and keeping the fire going so that the house didn't drop down to the single digits as it had outside. She feigned ignorance to the existence of everything outside of the cabin all the way up until Logan warned her that Kurt and Kate would be there soon, though still, she just pulled him back under the covers and insisted that they could find their own way into the house.

When Kate and Kurt finally did make their appearance, they had simply teleported into the kitchen, both of them carrying a few bags of food that they thought the other two might have run out of, just in case, as well as comfort food like chocolate — because Kate insisted that if she was going to be cold, she had to at _least_ have hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Once they arrived, they didn't see any sign of the other two except a note on the table that told them to throw some wood on the fire. "Don't freeze. We won't," the note said, which had both of the newcomers shaking their heads - though Kate pointed out that at least she had a fuzzy, warm Elf to help with the freezing problem.

"Then I feel you should take advantage of such a wonderful, fuzzy thing," Kurt teased.

"Yes, I should definitely take advantage," Kate agreed with a little laugh before the two of them just disappeared into the spare room.

When they came out hours later, there was a hot dinner waiting for them along with their two friends, who looked awfully darn comfortable all half snuggled up in front of the fire.

Kate grinned at Logan and quickly ran back up to the room to emerge with a purple bag. "Happy birthday," she announced as she dropped the bag into his lap.

He looked up at her and let out a breath before he thanked her for the bag and set it down — clearly trying to avoid the discussion altogether.

"It's your birthday?" K asked as she twisted to look at him better. "I could have used that information."

"Well, you know now," Kate said with a little smirk her way.

"It was two days ago," Logan told her. "Not a big deal. Not a milestone or anything."

"Yeah, well — I could have gotten you _something_ ," K said with a frown and he smirked her way to lean in and whisper something to her that got a little laugh before she just nodded her head at him. "Fine. Close enough." She pointed to the gift bag. "Open it before she comes unglued."

Logan shook his head and gave Kate a look as he pulled out a lovely assortment of flannel shirts. She'd even managed to find one that was a beautiful blend of purples — and the cherry on the cake was a perfect accessory: a Hawkeye t-shirt that was Kate's favorite shade. "You're trouble," he said her way. "But … I appreciate the thought."

She just grinned and all but skipped over to kiss his cheek. "You can never have too many purple things and stuff," she said seriously before she broke into a laugh. "I mean, gotta do something for your ninety thousand and twenty-ninth birthday."

"Ha, yeah, not quite," he countered. "But I appreciate the _wildly_ innacurate guess."

"I undershot it, didn't I?" she teased.

"No, you overshot by oh … eighty nine thousand, nine hundred years. Approximately," he said with half his face scrunched up.

Kate scrunched her face up to match his for a moment. "Math," she said disdainfully. "So that's…. One hundred twenty-nine, right? I carried all the numbers?" she teased.

"Yeah, you did good," Logan said with a nod.

She sighed dramatically and pulled Kurt into the loveseat with her. "Ugh. We're _out_ of school. No more of that nonsense today, please."

"Hey, you're the one that brought ridiculous numbers into it," Logan accused.

"Of course. How could I be so careless," she deadpanned.

"So … _next_ year is a big year then," Kurt said with a little smirk.

"Don't get any bright ideas, Elf," Logan said with a little glare.

Kate just reached over to draw a halo over Kurt's head. "Him? No. He's an angel," she said, which just had Kurt laughing to himself in a way he just wasn't able to stop.

"Don't _you_ go getting any bright ideas either, troubles."

"Oh, I'll be good," Kate said with a smirk. "I won't do anything without a consultant," she added with a significant glance K's way.

"You're assuming I'll still be around," K said with a look of disbelief.

"Unless… you're still mad at me?" Kate asked hesitantly.

"I'm not mad at you, you goofball," she said with a little wave.

Kate grinned. "Then you'll be around. Even if it's just for a drive-by get-the-teddy-bear party."

"I'm not sure the next girlfriend will be so forgiving," K said with a laugh. "But we'll see."

Kate laughed and settled back to lean against Kurt. "Well, I'll be around. You know where to find me. Just look for the tall blue guy."

"Or the teeny tiny blue guy?" K said with a raised eyebrow. "The one with no teeth?"

"Noh's not a blue Kree, K. They'll be pink and perfect," Kate said, brushing it off.

"Oh, I know," she said. "And you know I wasn't talking about him. You know damn well I meant you and your little blueberry stud muffin." Logan laughed outright at that and put his feet up to settle in a little deeper, ready to watch the show with the girls.

"Not gonna happen, K," Kate said, shaking her head. "Wishful thinking will only get _you_ so far."

"Me? I'm not interested in the blueberry stud muffin," K said before she turned to Kurt "To which you will forevermore be known. I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry."

"If you could please keep it just between the four of us," Kurt tried to ask, shaking his head and knowing from experience that it would be useless to argue against it. "At the very least."

She considered it for a moment. "If … cutie pie here drops the teddy bear routine."

"I'll drop teddy bear but not hug magnet," Kate said.

"I have seen no proof of hug-magnetry," K said as she tipped her chin up and looked to Logan. "I'll allow it."

"Should we be concerned that they are openly bartering over us?" Kurt asked Logan with a laugh.

"Won't do you any good if you are," Logan replied easily. "They'll do it anyhow."

"Wisdom with age," K said to Kate.

Kate just stuck her tongue out at her. "Seeing as he's got me by over a century? I can't even fight that one," she teased.

"Can't fight me either," K said with a little look.

"Yeah?" Kate tipped her head. "How many twenty-ninth birthdays on you?" she teased.

"Enough," K replied. "A lady doesn't tell her age."

"Still gonna fight all of you," Kate said with a smirk. "Seeing as you're all older by plenty, I should have the youthful advantage."

"Gonna lose," Logan told her. "We got age and experience on our side."

"Lose?" Kate wrinkled her nose. "Speaking of yourself of course."

"So cute that she thinks she can win," K said to the two men. "What's the age gap, Blueberry Stud Muffin?"

Kurt gave her a little look before he just had to shake his head. "Twenty-three years," he admitted with a shrug.

K stared at him openly for a moment before she put on an incredibly scandalized look. " _Cradle-robber_!" she accused Kurt, one hand over her heart.

Kurt held up both hands and shook his head, especially when he saw the _look_ Logan was wearing. "That is _not_ what's happening here," he said — though K just looked that much more scandalized.

"She's a _baby_ , stud muffin!" K said almost breathlessly.

"I am not," Kate said, rolling her eyes, though when K didn't look convinced in the least, Kate shook her head and leaned forward. "And for the record, I _thought_ it was less when we started up," she said as Kurt actually flushed a bit. "He _said_ he was in his thirties."

"It wasn't meant as a deception," Kurt defended. "It's just that forties sound… _old_."

"A cradle robber _and_ a liar," K said, shaking her head and still looking perfectly like an old, horrified biddy.

"Like either of you have much room to talk," Kate pointed out with a little smirk as she decided it was probably time to rise to the defense of her Elf now that she'd properly embarrassed him. "The age gap when you date anyone but each other is _ridiculous_."

K just gasped and rested one hand over her chest as she drew herself up. "Well. There are certain limitations to the mutation for sure. We're _forced_ to date younger if we want to have any fun at all. But … I have _never_ dated anyone _that much older._ Scandalous."

"It would be funnier if we didn't have JJ claiming I'm being _used_ by an _older man_ ," Kate said, chuckling as she pointedly nuzzled into Kurt. "Such a bad influence, this one. Not that I mind. At _all_."

"Well. That could technically be the case in any older-guy relationship." She shrugged one shoulder to her ear. "Or … in a couple younger guy relationships. Not that you'd know much about that, little one."

"First two boyfriends. But you probably don't count it if the gap's only a year or two," Kate said with a shrug to match K's.

"No, that really doesn't count," K agreed.

"Then I got nothing. Just those two, Noh, and Kurt," Kate said easily. "But I like the blueberry muffin. I'm keeping this one."

"I would hope so," Kurt chuckled, his face in her hair for a moment as he kissed her just behind her ear.

"He looks excessively sweet," K said with a smile. "But that's good for _you_. Doesn't make me want to take a bite out of all that sugar."

"Good. Because I'm… territorial," Kate said, curling into Kurt for good measure.

"There you go," K said with a nod. "Mark your territory."

" _I_ already did," Kurt said with a smirk as he fingered the material at Kate's hips, which was where she'd started wearing X's since joining the team, peeking through the cutouts in the exact shade of Kurt's fur.

"Thought that was a team marker," Logan said with a little frown.

"Yes. The deep blue x's were definitely the team's doing," Kurt said, smirking wider. "I had nothing at all to do with it."

"Well it's an _awfully_ good thing you guys came out to eat or you'd starve to death in that room," K said with a smirk. "Need your energy to NOT work on little blue troublemakers."

"That," Kurt said, grinning even wider now as his tail curled slowly up Kate's leg, "was a real problem when we first met."

"We never did get our picnic," Kate agreed, giggling.

K leaned back into Logan a bit further, "It's good to be old," she said with a nod. "I don't believe I have to worry _too_ much about all that noise."

"If you say so," Kate said. "I was under the impression old people still ate."

"Far less often than you have to if we're not taxing the body by healing," K said. "And eating something more substantial than just _sugar._ "

Kate just smirked and shrugged. "Well, keep your oatmeal. _I_ have some sugar," she said, nuzzling into Kurt's neck. "I'm still so young, after all."

"Yeah. Almost six." Logan turned Kurt's way in a desperate attempt to shift the conversation. "You gonna be up for a little hunt in the morning, Elf? We can leave the girls to drink all the coffee while we're out."

Kurt chuckled as he turned his attention, for a moment, from Kate and grinned at Logan. "How can I turn down an offer like that?"

"We'll snuggle up on the couch without you," K promised.

"And tell ghost stories," Kate teased. "Gotta get my hair braided by a viking warrior, too."

"Then we can have a pillow fight too."

"Which I will win."

"Fine, you'll win the pillow fight, but you're going down in the jello wrestling."

Kate laughed outright. "Fair enough."

"I'm gonna take the old lady to bed, Logan teased as he pulled K to her feet. "Throw a log in if you get up. This place will get cold fast if the fire goes out."

"Don't break any hips," Kate said as she waved them off. "I hear that's a problem at your age!"

"Hard to do when they're already metal, whippersnapper," K called out.

….

The next morning, the guys headed out while the girls were still cozied up in bed, though Logan had made a point to tell K very quietly that coffee was brewing for her before he gave her a little kiss and he and Kurt slipped off into the woods.

She stayed there with the blankets pulled up to her nose until the smell of coffee was just too much of a lure. When she opened her eyes, that same little bamf that had tried to help her when she returned to the mansion was sitting there on the dresser cross-legged and looking at her hopefully. "You want some coffee?" K asked him after she'd poked her head up over the covers.

The little blue imp beamed at her and nodded his head as she gave him a little smile and sat up.

She reached over and pulled the flannel that Logan had worn the day before off of the bedpost and slipped it on.

When she stepped out of the bedroom, she was only mildly surprised to see that Kate was up already with a pair of bamfs, curled up on the couch under a blanket sipping coffee and watching the fire.

"You're up late," Kate said with a little smirk as she teased. "What? Wearing down in your old age?" K just gave her a little troublemaking smile and got herself a cup of coffee before she headed over to the couch and kicked out a few bamfs to pull back the blanket and curl in with Kate under the blanket.

"Trying to break a healing factor the fun way is wearing. It's really not too cold in here though," K said as her little bamf came over to snuggle in, almost purring to himself when K wrapped an arm around him and pulled him in closer.

"Looks like you made a little blue friend," Kate said before she reached over and ruffled his hair.

"I wasn't very nice to him before when he was trying to help," K offered as explanation. She smoothed his mussed hair out. "Söt liten blå älva," she rumbled softly, getting a giggle from him as he nestled into her.

"Seems like you don't have much choice in the matter," Kate said with a laugh as she curled up with her own little bamfs. "Once they've decided to like you? That's it." She glanced over at K with a grin. "So — what's the plan, my friend? Are we braiding hair first, or should we go see the sights so we're in need of bamf cuddles to warm up so the boys can be jealous when they come back?"

At the suggestions, a few of the bamfs just nestled deeper into Kate's side, all but purring as she snuggled them into her.

Kate laughed. "I think they want the snuggles," she informed K as she kissed the top of one of their heads. "You guys are so spoiled, you know that, right?" she asked, and the little guy just beamed at her and kissed her cheek with a whispered 'bamf.'

"Both are good suggestions," K replied. "I gotta ask — mostly because we're nearly spooning — and also because I am warm, but... Noh. He's an ex and you're on good terms? How?"

Kate shrugged slightly. "Just ... time," she said. "Didn't even really want to talk to him for a while after he was a total idiot, but, well, when you date on a team, and the team stays close? You sort of have to get along."

"Can't say as I've ever had that problem," K admitted. "Dating within a team. But it's … interesting. I think."

"You should've been around before he met Jubes," Kate said with a smirk. "I thought he was going to fight Kurt when they met."

"That would actually be a fun matchup," K said as she looked down at her little bamf. "How did they get over themselves? Seeing as that traditionally is not easy for the danglers among us to get over."

Kate giggled. "Well, you've met Kurt. The ever-forgiving angel," she pointed out. "And once Noh started dating Jubes and finally moved on, it was way easier for everyone involved. They're unbearably cute together, so it's hard not to love them."

"They really are. And good for all you sweet little things and your happy hippie feel good snuggle fest you have going on. I wish my ex-record was even a little bit cheerful, but — that's not how it goes." She shook her head a bit and put her hand out for Kate's mug. "You ready for a refill?"

Kate nodded and handed her the mug. "Oh, always," she agreed.

When K returned to the couch a little bit later, two bamfs had taken her spot and were giggling as she gave them a little growl to move. "You said something about a view? Or some sights? I wasn't aware it was an issue."

Kate grinned. "K, you gotta see the sights. Logan lives inside a postcard."

"Like my place isn't pretty? Biased."

"You live in one of those pictures on a calendar," Kate allowed. "We'll give you the month of December, because it's my favorite."

"Birthday, huh?"

"Last day of the year. Fireworks just for me," Kate teased.

"Perfect. And you'll be six? Somehow, I think his count is a little bit off."

Kate made a show of scrunching her face up in concentration. "Well. You're only…." She counted on her fingers. "Nineteen years off."

"Well. That — okay. I can believe that. You looked a little bit tall for a six-year-old."

"Must've hit my growth spurt early," Kate joked before she pushed the bamfs aside a bit so she could actually stand up. "Come on — I'll show you the postcard."

"If this is an attempt to make me wake up, I'm going to need pants."

"This is an attempt to show you the postcard," Kate promised. "And also make the boys jealous with all the bamf snuggles. All of them."

K shook her head but let Kate lead her forward, even when she set her mug down and requested that K close her eyes for the big reveal. "If there's a camera crew, I'm going to be mad." The cold air hit her as they stepped out the front door, and when K looked up, she just kind of stared for a moment at the lake and the mountains in shock.

"Told you he lives in a postcard," Kate said happily.

"Where the hell are we?" K asked a little bit sharply.

"I didn't ask for coordinates?" Kate shrugged. "I mean, Logan likes his privacy. But I think it's somewhere on the BC/Alberta line, possibly? Round about that area."

"I'd say that a damned fine guess," she replied with a frown.

"Well, I didn't ask for specific coordinates, but I do pay attention when we fly," Kate said with a shrug.

"It was dark out when we got here, and I haven't … gotten outside."

"Too distracted trying to find a way to break metal hips," Kate teased.

"No, just wear out healing abilities," she shot back with a little smirk. "But come on. Freakin' Canada?"

"He's the only person I know who regularly considers Canada to be the most dangerous place on earth," Kate said seriously, though she was grinning.

"Well it's not very friendly, that's for damn sure," K agreed.

"You and I must have very different Canadian experiences."

"Very," K said with a little nod. "I … I have made it a rule to not get involved with freakin' maple syrup soaked hosers. They're too damn nice."

Kate made a show of looking distressed. "You — you can't stand to be around nice people?" she asked.

"That is not it. They're nice. Like … overly sweet on the outside with an evil gooey soul-sucking center. You — you are just sweet, and that little bavarian cream puff is delightful."

"So I don't have an evil purple seductressy gooey center?" Kate scrunched up her nose.

"Your purple seductressy center is still sweet. You don't use your powers for evil intent," K replied with a smile. "Canada is just … ugh."

"If you say so," Kate said, shrugging.

"Earlier when we were talking about exes? One of my exes? Worked for the government. ."

"Well, you've seen my ex and SHIELD, so we can safely assume anyone who works for people in suits is gonna have that going for them," Kate deadpanned.

But K just shook her head. "You don't understand. This … was nothing like SHIELD. This guy? He got mad when I wanted to think about his proposal and turned me in because of my abilities. Evil. Hateful. Eew."

Kate turned to face K properly with a look of horror. "He did not. That's just. Wrong."

"He was cute too," K replied. "The evil ex. This—" she gestured to the picturesque scene. "No bueno."

"Well, if I'd known you hated Canada so much, I could have used that to get us a private island getaway," Kate said with a huff. "I hate being cold."

"Yeah, well — this … this is probably a deal breaker. Yours lied to you about his age — mine neglected to mention ..." she said with a shake of her head before she stepped back inside, muttering to herself about 'damn Canadians'.

Kate followed her back in, head tipped to one side. "You need bamf snuggles."

"I need my clothes," she replied. "Think your boyfriend can give me a lift?"

"I thought you hated teleporting with him."

"Not my favorite," she admitted. "But it's hard to beat for speed."

"Well, when they get back, I'm sure he'd be happy to take you away from evil, evil Canada," Kate said. "We'll go back to the mansion where it's warmer and you can tease the Canadian Hug Magnet to your heart's delight."

"I think you have missed the point, my darling girl," K said with a little smirk.

Kate gave her a look. "I never miss," she said pointedly.

"Are you sure? Is this a secondary Hawkeye problem?"

"Hey. I'm Hawkeye. There is no secondary about me." Kate put her hands on her hips. "And the point, my dear old lady friend, is that I see you and your stupid and raise you a big fat no." She picked up her chin. "You want to ditch me and mine? It better be for a reason that's not because the hockey pucks are scary."

"What are you getting at, little one?" K asked with one hand on her hip to match Kate. "Because you know damn well it's not the hockey pucks. It's the damned black ops creepos that came poking around once already."

"I'm saying that you're a chicken hawk," Kate said with relish. "One sight of Canadian mountains and off you go. Silly chicken hawk."

"First off — do not try to pull me into your weird bird-fetish," K replied. "There is nothing hawky or chicken-y about me."

"Sure there's not," Kate said, smirking. "Not at all scared of postcards." She tutted and shook her head. "Mine's got a demon for a father, but no-o-o-o-o, it's the sightseeing that does in the one with healing powers."

K crossed her arms and cocked her hip as she let out a little woosh of air. "It is not the sightseeing."

Kate raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh, so now you're just lying to me about deal-breakers. Good to know for future reference your excuses are crap."

"It's not — I am not lying. It's — he's freakin' Canadian!" K had thrown both hands in the air as she spun to head toward the bedroom for her clothes.

"And?" Kate kept her hands on her hips. "Seriously. If you're going to be Canada-racist, I don't think I want to know you."

"That ... Kate. That is not even a thing."

Kate gestured at K. "Canada-racist," she said, tutting.

"You can't be racist against a country! Canadian isn't a race, it's a damn nationality. Don't they teach you anything at that school?"

"I went to prep school. There was a very good orchestra," Kate said with a grin and a shrug. "Seriously, K. Pick something that isn't stupid. Be annoyed with him for being, like, a human shield or something. But Canadian?" She shook her head hard. "Mine's got parents that are the literal definition of evil and he scared the mess out of me with a false-start proposal, so you're going to have to try harder before I accept your chicken hawk excuses."

"Wait — he did what?" K asked. "Go back. What happened with the blueberry stud muffin?"

"Top of the Eiffel Tower, he hands me a jewelry box, I kid you not," Kate said, shaking her head.

"Oh ... yeah. I ... would have run. Excused myself to the bathroom and busted ass all the way to Luxembourg. The only way I'd be traceable is by the cloud of dust in my wake."

"It was a necklace," Kate explained, showing K the delicate silver arrow around her neck.

"Yeah, but he took you to freakin' Paris for a necklace?" She didn't look convinced. "I'm a little scared for you for if he ever does propose."

Kate snorted and shrugged. "Yeah, I think the scared cat routine put him off that," she promised. "Anyway, it was a dating anniversary or something — I mean. He's sweet, but wow."

"A necklace. Jeez."

"Yeah, when we hit two years? I'm keeping you on my speed dial for a quick escape if need be," Kate said with a smirk.

"I wouldn't go anywhere with him anywhere near that date. Take some friends and go white water rafting instead."

"Know any good places?" Kate asked with a grin.

"Tennessee, actually," K replied. "Cold water, but it'll keep you from thinking overly warm thoughts about boys that want to bring you velvet boxes."

Kate laughed. "No chance of that happening," she promised. "I… don't really do proposals. At all. Just makes more paperwork when the inevitable happens."

K just nodded in total agreement. "You know, the guy — the last serious one that is — even if I had wanted to? Paperwork. And my paperwork? The dates — they look ridiculous. No one would ever buy it."

Kate laughed. "Yeah, I can see that being a pain and a half," she agreed. She tipped her head K's way. "I'm more worried about the paperwork after. You know. When he gets done? And it's time to move out again?"

K tipped her head to the side and frowned a bit. "Not with that one," she said slowly. "He actually really believes all that Catholic stuff. No divorce in the church."

Kate gave her a look. "Yeah. That may be. Just means when we get 'separated' we end up like my parents."

"How's that?" K asked.

"You know. One lives in Colorado, the other in Jersey, and they pretend it's a 'vacation' for the sake of the kids. A three-year vacation, K. I'm not stupid."

"Dad died when I was little, so — I missed out on that," she said with a little shrug. "Cutting ice on the lake. Got lost in a storm and only the sled came back."

"Yeah, Dad got tired of — I mean, well. Mom had a skiing accident," Kate said with a frown as she caught herself.

"That's crap," K rumbled. "Want me to take him skiing?"

"You're about a year and a half late on that one," Kate said with a light shrug. "Logan stabbed him and then burned the house down."

"See?" K replied looking totally vindicated. "Damn Canadians takin' all the fun."

Kate snorted. "We'll just have to have fun without the boys, then," she suggested. "No proposals, no arson. Just bamfs, braiding, and coffee."

"I … kinda like arson," K admitted, pointing to her face. "Viking."

Kate smirked. "Well, it is a good way to get back at someone." She leaned forward. "I may have planted the idea in Logan's head. My nemesis burned down my place — so I torched hers. It was a fun few months in LA."

"Oh, well, you'll have that in LA. Looting. Riots. Burning the village. It's a theme." She let out a little sigh. "Okay, so. Now I'm torn between curling up with you on the couch or taking over his bed — or just … walking. They all sound good."

"Let's start with the couch," Kate suggested with a grin. "And I can tell you the entire, nitty gritty details story of Paris."

"Story swapping, wonderful. I'll tell you about my horrible actual proposal."

"Boys and jewelry. So dangerous," Kate agreed, throwing her arm around K's shoulders.

"This one was trouble anyhow," K said with a little smirk. "He looked like he could have passed for Thor's twin brother in every aspect."

Kate nodded seriously. "Ah, I see. You were taken in by the godlike good looks."

"Yes. And the grey eyes."

"Rippling pectorals."

"Bulging biceps."

"Cute tush too I bet."

"Requirement."

"Now if only he didn't open his mouth and let out that pesky personality," Kate sighed.

"And all the evil, yes."

"Shame how the evil ones can be so cute. There should be a rule against that."

"There really, really should. When we take over we should put it into law — 'Handsome men must register their intentions'."

"We'll put Rachel in the office so they can't lie, either," Kate said. "Otherwise, we'll just get a bunch of cuties writing down 'good intent' to get in our pants."

"Sneaky little bastards," K grumbled, though her earlier funk seemed to have mostly passed. "Are we still coffee-ing, or did you have something else in mind before the boys get back to find we've utterly abandoned them for each other and some fuzzy little imps?"

"I would never say no to coffee," Kate laughed. "We can eat food if we have to, though. I think there are sandwich supplies in the fridge."


	6. Midnight Mass and Teddy Bears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kate and Kurt go to a midnight Mass for Christmas, the whole mansion is betting on whether or not the two of them are getting engaged, and Kate and K have the most ridiculous Christmas presents for each other, because their friendship is hilarious.

 

* * *

It was another few hours before the boys came back from hunting with their kill — and from the couch, the two women just looked toward the door as the guys handled things. K narrowed her eyes at the closed door and tipped her chin up a bit before she looked at Kate and told her that they'd managed to bag a deer.

"And here I thought they were just going out into nature to get in touch with their feelings," Kate said dryly.

"Yeah, I'm sure there was touching," K said with a raised eyebrow. " _Smådjävul och nallebjörn_."

Kate just laughed and absently played with a bamf's hair with one hand. "How long do you think before they notice we're ignoring them?" she teased.

"Hard to say. I guess it depends on how much they missed us," K replied. "They are awful close, and they were probably contented to just … _be_ with each other."

"Best friends. So adorable," Kate said with a contented smile. "Betcha yours cracks first. Just because saying it'll be Kurt is too easy."

"So what you're really saying …. Is that chances are yours will crack first. Is that what you're saying? You're going for the longshot?" K had turned in her spot to frown at her. "That doesn't seem like a smart bet."

"Oh, always. I always take the impossible long shots," Kate said with a straight face.

K just rolled her eyes and snuggled in again with her head on Kate's shoulder. "We should hug."

"Yes. Make the Hug Magnet jealous," Kate laughed.

"I still don't see the hug magnet part," she said as they shifted their snuggle.

"Well, you and I are going to have to have a date with Peter Parker and his magnificent album of snuggles," Kate said with a smirk.

"Is that the squirmy one that gets nervous when I lean in on him?"

"He's used to the stabby one threatening his life," Kate chuckled. "He'll get used to you too. Eventually. Maybe."

"Makes me want to tackle him Hobbes style just to see if he wets himself."

Kate smirked. "Oh, now I really want you to try. He's surprisingly hard to surprise."

"But if I mean him no _harm_ , it shouldn't be an issue, as I understand it."

"It's a tossup, really," Kate said, laughing now. "Bobby and I try to get him because the _scream_ is hilarious — but sometimes he just _knows_. Makes it more challenging."

"I'll just kiss him," K said with a grin. "Though he wouldn't be scared of _me_ I don't think."

"Oh yeah. That'd do it." Kate snorted, then shook her head. "Point is, he's a great photographer. And there are _snuggles_ you need to see." She laughed. "There were a few weeks where I got turned into an actual Kindergartener? And boy, was there hug magnet material."

"You're making me want to run again, and I don't have pants on — and they are _here_ so I don't know if I can outrun them _both_. Stop that."

Kate just chuckled. "No, no. He's like, the ultimate uncle. Totally different look from the… one Kurt had," she admitted quietly.

"The one … oh, honey. I'm buying you track shoes for your birthday."

"It's _so_ not an issue with this one," Kate said earnestly.

"It's always an issue."

"No, really. He _really_ doesn't want demon babies. You know. Because of the evil dad thing," Kate explained. "That's the one thing I'm pretty sure cute little Catholic boy is _not_ going to ask for."

"He's _Catholic_. It's like … it's what they DO."

"He's _Catholic_ ," Kate countered. "They have a thing about demonic stuff." She grinned and leaned back. "Plus, you know. Not married."

"Believe me — the married thing has never slowed any Catholic boys down in the history of ever."

"I'm dating a good one," Kate said easily. She grinned over at K. "But, you know, if you want to buy me running shoes, I will laugh at the gag gift and hang them up in a place of prominence on my office wall."

They had fallen into a bit of a lull in their conversation, snuggled up and tucked half around each other when the guys came in. They both looked up at the guys as they walked in, and there was a beat of silence after Kurt made a comment on how cozy they looked before both women both broke down in a fit of giggles.

"Feel free to do the same, if you are so inclined," K teased. "Over there. I'm sure you could get almost as cozy as us."

"Not likely," Kurt replied with a dry look. "But if one of you were to get up …"

"What do you think, guys?" Kate asked the bamfs instead of Kurt. "Feel like moving?" When she got a chorus of giggles and shaking heads, she laughed. "Too cozy, you're right."

"Have you girls even left that couch since this morning?" Kurt asked, shaking his head at them.

"We've tried not to," K replied, nuzzling in just a bit more — Kate was sure for effect.

"It's just so warm and cozy, and we have little fuzzy mini-blankets," Kate said as the bamfs giggled and snuggled in, copying K and just wrapping little tails around both of their arms.

"Did you two have any coffee?" Logan asked, his arms crossed over his chest as he stood next to Kurt.

Kate made a little scoffing noise. "Of _course_."

"Then you're done," he said before he took a step forward and grabbed K by the ankle and just yanked her from Kate, scattering the bamfs that were snuggling into K as the woman let out a curse. "You two have a nice afternoon," he said Kurt's way as he threw K over his shoulder again and walked off toward his room.

"I guess he got a little cold," Kurt said with a laugh as he slipped into the vacated spot.

Kate just giggled as she curled into Kurt. "Yes, well — that just means I won the bet. Always bet on the long shots, Kurt," she told him.

"What was the bet, and what did you win?" he asked as he started to nuzzle into her neck.

She laughed. "I am sworn to never reveal girls' day secrets, my dear Elf."

"You won't tell me anything?" he asked sweetly as he started with the kisses.

She just giggled and pretended to consider it. "Well, I'm not _supposed_ to," she told him with an ever-growing smirk. "Definitely not supposed to reveal any of the hair-braiding secrets. Nope."

"Can I convince you somehow?" he asked in her ear.

"You can _try_ ," she teased him.

….

The entire atmosphere of the cabin was warm and cozy and sedate, and while that had been _wonderful_ for a few days, Kate was really ready to get back to the mansion. She had hawkeyes to coach, not to mention bad guys to fight.

So when she came down to breakfast — the last one awake, as usual — she just slid in next to Kurt, laid her head on his shoulder, and announced without preamble, "I think it's time to go to the mansion. You know. Before the kids start spreading vicious rumors with how long we've been gone."

"What kind of vicious rumors?" Kurt said with a little frown.

She looked up at Kurt and smirked the slightest bit. "Well, if we disappear too long, they'll start saying I'm coming back looking like Jessica Drew."

Logan shifted in his chair a bit. "What about Jessica Drew?" Kurt asked.

"Oh, that's right, you weren't there when she and Natasha and I got together a few weekends back for a spa date," Kate said. She grinned up at him. "She's, what, five, six months along? I think."

"She doin' okay?" Logan asked. "Haven't heard from her in a while."

"She's fine," Kate assured him. "She's just ... you know. She'd like to just stay home. Nat and I met up with her at her place for our semiannual pampering."

"She need anything?" Logan asked.

Kate shook her head. "Unless you want to start buying onesies," she teased. "She's pretty much set. I think Luke Cage sent her, like, _all_ of their hand-me-downs."

"It's a girl then?" he asked, a little smirk at the corner of his mouth.

"She ... actually doesn't know," Kate said. "Apparently, the little mini-spider _refused_ to let anyone take his or her picture."

"Not sure if that's more like mom or dad," Logan muttered quietly.

"Wouldn't know. Jess said it was a donor-dad," Kate said, though she didn't sound much like she believed it.

Logan's eyebrows went up in surprise. "Oh, I'm gonna have to give her a call then."

"She could use it," Kate said quietly before she just sighed and shrugged, putting her smile back on. "Point is — if we don't want the kids making a betting pool on how… _symptomatic_ I am? I say we head back." She smirked at K. "Besides, _I_ am getting used to the betting pools. You? You are just ... asking for a Wolverine baby pool."

"Oh," K replied at a whisper. "Well then. When do we leave?"

"Anytime, really," Kate said with a shrug, stretching out. "Katie needs to shoot things. I'm totally set to go find some tracksuits or _something_."

"Finish the coffee," Logan said. "Then we can go. We didn't really pack anything in, so there's nothing to pack up."

"Great." Kate saluted him with her coffee mug. "Gotta make sure to nip those rumors in the bud, or we'll be getting concerned calls from Jubilee about the double elopement you _know_ America is telling everyone about."

"Your friend is cruel," K said, as she finished off her mug.

"I know," Kate said with a dramatic sigh.

"And I can't even pick at her right," K complained.

"She's pretty darn immune," Kate agreed. "For now, anyway."

"She needs a girlfriend," K said with a decisive nod. "Everyone I know is too old for her, though."

"Well, she went on a few dates with a paramedic," Kate said. "I think there's hope — they're just both so busy. Like, the most ridiculous hours on these two and their jobs."

"Too bad Henry doesn't need an assistant," K said before she turned to Logan with a bright smile. "Or does he?"

"Doubt it," Logan answered. "Unless things pick up."

"Hopefully they wait until after my birthday if they do decide to get serious," Kate said. "I was planning to go see the fireworks in several cities," she added as she slid her arm through Kurt's.

"Have fun in Europe," K said with a little wave. "Fireworks over the Seine would be beautiful."

Kate stuck her tongue out at K. "I'm sure. But we were going to London this year," she shot back. "Maybe you can go to the Seine instead."

"I'd prefer Trondheim, honestly," she replied. "Tiny fishing village in Norway. Northern lights and the mountains. Lovely."

Kate saluted K with her coffee mug. "To each her own."

The little group finished up their coffee and very slowly pulled themselves together, though K and Logan still looked a bit slow to leave — even with Kurt teasing them. On their arrival back though — it was less than ten minutes before Logan was collecting money left and right from irritated staff and students alike that just looked ... _let down._

"Insider wagers," Bobby said. "No fair when you have inside info." Though he handed over a fifty without more complaint than that.

"What was the bet?" Kurt asked with a frown, though the little flick at the end of his tail was the dead giveaway at his level of irritation.

"That you two'd come back engaged," Logan told him frankly. He gestured around at the dejected bet-losers. "Take a good look. These are the ones that bet on it — without knowing a damn thing." Kurt just looked at him in disbelief as the little crowd dispersed and Logan counted his winnings.

When the crowd had cleared off, though, he took a few steps toward Kurt and handed him the wad. "Investment — for later," he told Kurt low. "Much later. When she's not so damn skittish."

Kurt shook his head at his friend and tried to give him back his winnings. "Invest in something else," he said with a heavy sigh.

"Hey, I always back the winner," Logan told him. "If it doesn't happen in say ... five years … _then_ I'll consider taking it back. Give her time and save up. If nothing else, you can take a vacation if it doesn't work out."

"I'll make sure to set it aside to give back to you in five years," Kurt said, still firmly convinced that it just wasn't going to happen — he'd already accepted it and was fine to just enjoy what he _did_ have with Kate.

"If you've still got it in five years, I'll drink it with you." Logan smirked at him just a bit. "But it'll have been put down on a ring before then."

Kurt had to smirk the softest bit. "In this case, _mein Freund_ , you have far more faith than I do."

"That's because I know what I'm talking about."

….

As Christmas crept closer, the mansion was more and more festive — with all sorts of holidays represented across the halls, though the mistletoe was probably Kate's favorite. A very good excuse to kiss an Elf in the hallways — and no matter what the kids were betting on behind their backs, she really couldn't help but laugh at the giggles that went through the student body every time.

She'd just caught him after class on the last day of his drama class — in which all the students _loved_ the final exam and the fun monologues they were given that Kate and the bamfs had helped pick out. And she had to laugh when the drama students broke into applause when she caught him in the doorway and he gave the kids a dry look before teleporting them both away.

"You really shouldn't be encouraging them like that, _V_ _ö_ _gelchen_ ," he teased her.

"They'll talk anyway," she shot right back. "How was the last day of class, Professor Elf?"

He just smiled at her. "I'm not sure if they were more relieved to be finished or if they actually enjoyed those ridiculous comedies we found for them," he teased.

"Both," Kate decided as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. When the kiss broke, he was grinning at her, and she bit her lip. "So — Christmas."

"Yes, it's coming up soon, I hear," he agreed as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Right." She just laughed for a moment and shook her head. "No, I meant ... last year we were in space. This year?" She tipped her head to catch his eye. "I mean, it's not like either of us have family Christmas plans."

"You didn't want to go on that cruise with Susan?" he asked with a teasing smile as she rolled her eyes at him. "I'm _shocked._ It sounded so … boozy."

"Yeah, no thank you," she said, and he laughed outright at the expression she was wearing. She kissed his cheek and shook her head at him. "I was just… I don't have any plans at all. Wasn't really a big deal in my household growing up, and it seems like everyone just has their own plans, so I thought maybe I'd ask you if you — you know." She shrugged. "I don't really know much about your beliefs, but I've been told there's some fun stuff at Christmas?"

He broke into a wide grin as he looked her over carefully. "Would you like to come with me and see for yourself?" he asked. "I would love to share that with you, _liebchen_. It's truly a tremendous experience."

She nodded, grinning right back at him. "Yeah, I'd like that."

He was positively beaming at her as he took one of her hands in both of his, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. "Every year at this time, you can attend a midnight Mass," he explained to her. "It's an amazing experience, truly breathtaking, if you really do want to see for yourself. And if we can find one in Latin…" He broke into an even wider grin that Kate thought just might split his face right down the line of his mouth.

She stood on her toes to kiss him. "If it makes you this happy, I want to know about it," she said honestly. "And it sounds _wunderbar_ ," she added with a wide grin.

He let out a delighted sort of laugh and picked her up to kiss her again in a spin.

…...

The cathedral was stunning — a massive display of hand-cut stone and colored glass windows — and even though it was dark outside, the shapes and colors of the glass were discernable as what little light from outside passed through them.

Every person in the cathedral was holding a candle that was lit, offering the only light outside of the large candles on the altar. All at once, the entire congregation rose, and the choir began to sing words that had long been lost in time, echoing the stone walls and pulling out tritones from their perfect harmony. The priests and the altar boys came up the center of the aisle, swinging incense and singing along, bearing the gifts of the eucharist for the congregation to share.

Kurt leaned in and gently, quietly explained all that was happening and the significance of it in hushed, private whispers to Kate as the church leaders went through their usual rites.

The psalms and passages were read, and the congregation answered back the proper responses in Latin. At one point, the whole group made the sign of the cross in the air before them, and then they began to turn to each other and grasp hands, wishing peace on each other. Kate was taken back a bit when the little old woman in front of her held her hand in both of hers with such sincere kindness in her eyes as she smiled warmly and said, "Peace be with you."

The prayers continued, with the congregation feeling more and more like a unit until they finally reached the point that Kurt was clearly anxious for her to see — the high point of the Mass, as it was when the priest fell mostly silent but for his own private prayers as he blessed the gifts.

Kurt had been mid-sentence and stopped, clearly holding his breath as the priest raised the host and sang out the prayer. " _Accipite, et comedite; hoc est corpus meum. Accipite, et bibite; Hic est calix sanguinis mei. Hoc facite in meam commemorationem_."

The crowd answered back, and shortly after, the group as a whole began to head up to the priests for their communion. Kate paused and looked at Kurt, who hadn't moved a muscle to leave. "You can go up; I'll wait right here," she said but he gently shook his head.

"You cannot accept the sacrament of the eucharist without first having gone to confess your sins," he said quietly. "I haven't confessed. I can't go."

She just watched him for a moment as he almost guiltily watched the congregation make the rounds, and when it was over, the cathedral filled again with music as the leadership left, again swinging their incense and singing, smiling to the familiar and unfamiliar faces on their way out.

Kurt took Kate's hand and pulled her off to the side as the church began to empty, and just before they left, he made a point to light a candle and say a little prayer in silence. When he was finished, he looked over his shoulder to be sure no one was watching as he took her hand and teleported outside, far down the street, to watch the church empty at the end of the Mass.

Kate slid her arm through Kurt's and rested her head on his shoulder, smiling up at him. "You love this," she said. It wasn't a question. "We should do this every year."

He smiled her way and nestled in, covering her hand with his before he kissed the top of her head. "Thank you for joining me tonight."

"Thanks for bringing me," she said, still grinning. "That ... was _so_ neat. And I like seeing you this happy."

"I'm happiest with you alongside me," Kurt said softly as silence started to finally fall over the city.

…..

When Kurt and Kate got back from their midnight mass, all quiet smiles and solemn snuggles, K broke away from her spot that she'd snuggled into with Logan with a package for Kate. "I really couldn't wait for your birthday," K told her as she pressed the package into her hands. "And I have something in mind for that. So. You know. Merry Christmas."

Kate grinned from ear to ear and tore open the package, laughing out loud when she saw the running shoes, white and blue, complete with cleats. She was still chuckling as she threw her arms around K in a hug. "Oh my gosh, I love you," she giggled. When she took a step back, she held up a finger. "Wait, wait, I have something for you." She tipped her head to the side, and a bamf teleported away, only to return with a teddy bear, wearing a Viking helmet and braids and dressed in a tee shirt with a Canadian maple leaf that had been attacked viciously with sharpie markers to 'x' through the leaf.

"Oh. You … you are just … this whole thing is so historically inaccurate right here," K said, shaking her head as she looked at the teddy bear. "And a _maple leaf_? Hateful."

"He is Canada-racist too, see?" Kate teased in an undertone as she pointed out the sharpie all over the tee shirt. "He is all set to raid some borders and kill some hosers."

"You — You can't be Canada _racist._ It's not a race. It's a nationality soaked in syrup and beaver droppings."

At that, Logan reached up and yanked her backward. "Enough with the freakin' Canada crap," he grumbled. "Rotten, spoiled little Americans."

Kate just giggled delightedly. "Yes. Yes we are," she agreed. "Shamelessly spoiled rotten."

"Is this the new thing, bein' a pain in my ass over being Canadian? Is that the best you could come up with?" Logan asked, pointed Kate's way, though he hadn't let go of K, who was nodding enthusiastically.

"Yeah, Kate. Come on," K teased.

Kate put a hand over her heart and just shook her head at him. "So hurtful, Logan. I'm a _delight_."

"You need to test those shoes out?" K asked, trying to change the subject and squirm out of his grip. "I can go find a starter pistol or something."

Kate laughed and shook her head. "Maybe when it's not so cold out," she said. "Plus, I think I'd like to catch some sleep with this one," she added, tipping her head at Kurt. "Little bit tired."

"I'll bet," K said. "All that kneeling and standing and sitting in rotation is a workout."

"So cool, though," Kate said with a genuine grin.

"It really is," K agreed. "Glad you had a good time anyhow." She looked past Kate to Kurt with a little grin. "Don't you have work to do tonight? Little Christmas Elf?"

"I have him on loan from Santa this year," Kate said, laughing when Kurt just shook his head at her. "He said as long as I feed and water him, I can keep him." At that, Kurt just started to chuckle and kiss her neck, clearly giving up on trying to get either of them to talk sense.

"Is he housebroken? Mine is definitely NOT." K smiled Kurt's way for just an instant before she focused on Kate. "And .. you know what they say about old dogs."

"Ah, but mine is a sea dog. Swashbuckles and pirate hats," she said with a wide grin.

"You two ... are awful," Kurt said shaking his head slowly as he stopped kissing Kate and turned to Logan. "You need to get yours out of here before she corrupts mine further," he said, though the impish grin said there was a completely different reason for the request.

"For you, I think that can be arranged," Logan said before he started pulling K along with him. "Good night, I'll keep this one busy for a while."

Kate just laughed and waved at the two of them as they left before she pulled Kurt into the seat they'd just vacated and shook her head at him. "Enabler."

"He's happy. What's so bad about that?" Kurt asked with a little smile.

"You're right. Absolutely nothing," Kate agreed wholeheartedly as she kissed his nose and just beamed at him. "You still look like you've, like, won the Olympic Gold in teleporting."

"It's been a very good Christmas," Kurt said with a calm, sedate smile. "The Mass was … it brought me some peace that I needed and missed. And you have made my night. The fact that my best friend seems to have found someone of like mind? It's a very good day."

She kissed him, long and soft. "Merry Christmas, Kurt," she whispered as he very gently pulled her tighter to him.


	7. Ordinary and Unremarkable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long stream of coasting has come to an abrupt stop as the X-Men have to band together to save one of their own. Unfortunately, Scott's preferred heavy hitters are off saving the world in other ways. How will Annie handle things? Something Sinister approaches!

When Rachel and Anton had asked Annie to watch the girls so that they could spend a night out together and just be a married couple, alone, and catch a movie and dinner — of course Annie said yes. She brought back the movies that had been left at the mansion after the last time the girls came to visit as well as a little bag of treats — because, honestly, she was the fun aunt, who bribed her nieces and nephews with cookies, and she would defend this title.

Of course, the girls were great for her, as always. Leslie Ann told her stories about how school was going and how much fun it was making new friends this year. She’d gotten in trouble when one of the students didn’t believe her that she knew the X-Men, and of course Leslie Ann had gotten upset when the boy called her a liar and got into a bit of a wrestling match — but Anton was proud to say she won, even if he actually had to ground her.

Mary Beth had a few new dolls that she’d gotten for Christmas from Scott and Annie, and Annie had to laugh at the fact that Mary Beth had named them ‘Joob’ and “Katie’ and was constantly dressing them up in outfits, insistent on having the right colors — yellow and purple, respectively.

But finally, eventually, both girls settled down to sleep, and they were out by the time Rachel and Anton came back. Annie took another little while to catch up with her sister, chatting and laughing well into the night before, finally, she headed out the door, after several hugs, into the lightly falling snow, the beginnings of a late December flurry.

She had a couple of blocks to walk to where she’d been able to find a parking spot, and she was very nearly to the car when a tall man in a dark coat and hat stepped her way.

“Excuse me. Are you Mrs. Annette Hale Summers?” the low, velvety voice asked.

Annie beamed at him, still in a good mood. “Yessir, that’s me!”

“Wife to Scott Summers?”

“Oh, he’s not here right now,” she said, shaking her head with a still-steady smile. This was pretty common around Westchester — people asking for Scott — and she usually tried her best to pass on any well-wishes… and blatantly ignore any hateful diatribes against him. “But I can call him if it’s an emergency.”

“That’s not necessary,” he said. As he looked up at her, she saw a flash of red between his eyes just before he moved forward and simply rushed her. She gasped and tried to step back, away from him, automatically trying to force her body to remember all that her father had taught her growing up on how to stop a creep like this, and when that failed to even deter him, she struggled to get her keys in her hand.

She finally managed to get a good grip on them and swung her arm hard as he picked her up off the ground entirely. She managed to sink her keys into his shoulder, but almost as soon as she’d pulled her arm back, the bleeding stopped, and he simply crushed her down into the snow as he got a better grip on her.

She stared up at him, terrified and fighting for her life, but a few moments later, she caught his gaze and held her breath. “Annette, stop fighting me,” he said in a commanding tone, and just like that, she did exactly as she was told, standing silently and calmly walking with him to the black town car waiting at the end of the block. 

* * *

  
Back at the mansion, Scott was waiting for Annie. She’d been telling him all week about the old movie she wanted to watch with him when she got back from babysitting the kids. She was insistent that the black-and-white version of The Scarlet Pimpernel was the best version of one of her favorite books, and she did have good taste when it came to literature, so he was actually looking forward to it.

But time simply kept slipping by with no sign of Annie. He’d been trying to relax more, and Annie had helped him considerably, even with the dual headaches he’d been dealing with at training. So he tried to take his time before he picked up the phone and just … stared at it for a few minutes. He let out a sigh as he looked outside to the gently falling snow and even as he’d decided to give her another half an hour, he found he was already dialing the number to Annie’s sister.

He thought about simply hanging up, berating himself for calling so quickly, but Rachel’s cheerful voice greeted him before he could hit the button. “Hey Rachel, I don’t suppose Annie got a slow start, did she?”

“Oh, is she not back?” Rachel asked, but she sounded entirely unconcerned. “Sorry! I kept her talking… She left a while ago, though.”

“No, not yet,” he said with a little smirk. Those girls were nearly inseparable. He should have known that she just got caught up talking. “Alright. I’ll give it some time. I know she hates driving in the snow.”

“You’d think we’d have gotten used to it living in Alaska all that time,” Rachel laughed. “Oh — when she gets there, would you tell her she left her phone here again?”

“I sure will,” Scott laughed, feeling a bit more relaxed now. “Thanks a lot. You want me to have her call you when she gets in?”

“That would be great, thanks,” Rachel agreed. “You know how it is waiting up for little siblings.”

“I do,” Scott said, still smiling before he hung up to a chorus of goodbyes from the girls in the background who had apparently woken up again after Annie had left. He let out a breath, his mind a bit more at ease now that he knew she’d likely just be running late. He watched as Kate and K walked by — conspiring against the guys, he was sure. And with an amused smirk, he decided to get the popcorn ready for the upcoming movie night and try to wait patiently.

It was almost an hour later when Rachel called him back, still sounding mostly cheerful, to ask if he’d forgotten all about her when the old Scott came back in force. His jaw locked into place and he very calmly told Rachel that he was going to find out exactly where she was.“Don’t worry; I will call you as soon as I get her home. I’m sure she didn’t slide off or something. She’s too good of a driver for that. Call me on my cell if you’re worried, but I’m on it, alright?”

“You know I’m not going to sleep until you tell me she’s alright,” Rachel said, immediately falling into a much lower tone. “I expect a call.”

“I know, I’ll call. I promise.” He hung up and took just a moment to try and keep himself centered before he got up and headed to the garage, ready to simply start by driving the route that Annie liked to take to her sister’s. But as he was getting into his car, a text came through from Anton telling him that he was looking — and there was a problem.

Her car is still parked the next street over from our place.

Scott read the text three times through before he rushed into the house and ran for Rachel — and Cerebro — to see if she could reach out and find Annie.  
…………………...  
“Did I ever tell you how much I loved that drawing that you gave me?” K asked Kate. “It was really advanced for your age, I think.”

Kate shot K a dry look over the coffee mug in her hand. “What drawing?”

“The one you sent up with the note and the burgers. I framed it.”

Kate thought about it for a moment and then just shook her head. “I just ... wrote the word ‘sorry’? What, did you think I hadn’t learned to write yet?” she teased lightly.

“Well. Yes. The handwriting could use some work, but that was not the best part — there was a sad Kate drawing.”

Kate shook her head as she started to chuckle. “This,” she said quietly, “this is what happens when you trust tiny little demons with a delivery job.”

“Very likely. Either way, it’s darling,” K said.

“I kind of want to see it now,” Kate laughed. K waved her to follow as she started toward the stairs.

“Logan said it should go in your ‘baby Kate’ book — whatever that means,” K told her. “I said it didn't’ count if you were in your twenties when you drew it.”

“Oh, he—” Kate snorted out a laugh. “He’s been keeping up a mental scrapbook. Baby Kate’s first psychic attack. First space pirates. That sort of thing.”

“That is a very very bad sign,” K said to herself.

“He likes to pick because I’m the youngest,” Kate said with an easy shrug, and K turned her way with a sort of raised-eyebrow look.

“Why do you do that?” K asked as they got to the room she was sharing with Logan.

“Do what? Let him pick on me?”

“No. No — why is it that when Kurt does something questionable, it’s a panic riot, and when I spot something questionable on this one,” she said jerking her thumb toward the door. “You try to make excuses for him. Are you … are you plotting?”

Kate laughed outright. “I would never plot!” she promised sincerely. “Only in jest. I mean. Can you imagine me trying to plan your wedding with Kurt making sad faces over my shoulder?”

“No. No, because you will not. Do not even think about such things,” K said as she let her in the room. “No. Bad Katie.”

Kate was still laughing. “I’m getting you running shoes for your birthday,” she promised.

“I will go barefoot through briars if I have to — I’m not waiting for shoes if there is a problem.”

“Ouch, K. That hurts. Don’t do that,” Kate said through giggles.

She tossed her hair over her shoulder and dug around on the stacks of books and things on the dresser until she found the framed picture. “Here you go.” She handed her the framed drawing, where she had written underneath it in very neat script ‘Sad Kate is sad. - Katie Bishop, age 24’

Kate had a hand over her mouth trying not to just burst into full laughter as she looked at the bamf drawing. “Oh. This… they are just so…. You’re just so... “ She couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst into laughter.

“I don’t even care. I’m keeping it — that is the story that stays with it forever,” K informed her with a laugh.

“You’ll be three hundred and telling Jubes and Noh’s descendants the legend of the Kate drawing,” Kate said through her giggles.

“You bet I will,” K said with a grin. “It’ll be immortalized and hanging in the Louvre by then.”

Kate had to sit down from laughing. “And here I thought I’d leave a legacy in the book world, not the visual arts.”

“No no, this — this will replace the Mona Lisa,” K said as she lay down on the bed and rolled onto her stomach to watch Kate with her head in her hand.

Kate had just placed the framed picture back on the bedstand when there was a knock, and they both turned to see Scott standing in the doorway. He’d knocked on the open door to get their attention, but he was looking around the room with an expression almost like panic. “Where’s Logan?”

“Scott?” K said very calmly as she got to her feet and started to walk toward him. “He’s out on a run with Kurt. What can we do to … talk you down?”

He looked frustrated as he looked around the room, as if he thought he might still find Logan there anyway. “We’re past talking — I need him for a mission,” he said, his teeth slightly together as he spoke in almost a whisper.

“He’s not going to be back for a while. Who do you need stabbed?” K asked, looking perfectly serious. “I can do that much anyhow.”

He turned to her and looked surprised for a moment before he just nodded. “Not sure yet,” he admitted. “But Rachel’s going to narrow it down on the way.”

“I’ll go change,” K said with a nod. “See you in the jet.” She didn’t even look behind her before she took off running, leaving Scott and Kate behind her.

“I’ll come with you,” Kate said quickly. “And — you know, I think Jubes and Noh are still in the kitchen pouring over that book of flowers. We can grab them too.” She tipped her head at Scott. “Are you okay, boss man? Look like you’re going to… pass out or something.”

He just stared at her for a moment and then let out a breath. “Annie’s missing,” he said. “I’ll go prep the jet.”

Kate didn’t even try to hide the shock as Scott went running back down the hall toward the hangar, and then she took off — first to grab, like, three quivers and then to grab Noh and Jubilee on her way to the hangar. She just had to say that Annie was in trouble, and Noh had picked them both up to run them down full speed to the hangar to save time.

The little group was in the air in a matter of minutes, and K had made a point to take co-pilot just to keep an eye on Scott, and amazingly, she seemed to be keeping him calm.

Those in the back of the jet were just waiting for word on who it was they were going to destroy for coming after Annie, watching Rachel as she concentrated on narrowing down Annie’s position. It was completely silent until, very suddenly, Rachel opened her eyes with a gasp and looked around the jet quickly, eyes wide and lips pressed together before took a deep breath. “I found her,” she said before she rattled off the coordinates to K. She took another breath and looked toward Scott, who looked like he was just waiting for the other shoe. “But ... it’s not going to be easy. She’s with Sinister.”

The others in the jet stilled at the name, but it was Scott’s reaction that was the most telling as, for just a second, he looked completely deflated before he caught himself and went into the most straight-backed, jaw-clenched glare K had ever seen from him.

“We’ll get him, Scotty,” K said calmly as she rested her hand on his arm. “No way is he getting away with this.”

“We’ll get Annie back,” Kate agreed.

“Yes, we will,” Scott said through his teeth without looking at either one of them.

Rachel watched Scott for a long moment before she reached out to him with her mind. We’ll clear a path for you. You’re the one she’ll want to see anyway once the rescue happens.

Scott didn’t move in the least, except to narrow his eyes slightly behind his glasses. Please just… keep an eye out for her. She’s not an X-Man. She hasn’t ever dealt with… any of this.

Rachel bit her lip at the clear panic she could hear in Scott’s mind that he wasn’t showing fully outside of his head. It’s going to be alright, she projected, but that just got the equivalent of a psychic shrug off. Not that she blamed him. After all, Sinister… was a special case for Scott.

By the time the jet landed close to the coordinates Rachel had given them, the tension in the jet was thick enough to cut with a knife as everyone was keeping at least half an eye on Scott, who was absolutely livid.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” K said as she stood next to him. “I haven’t trained against this guy. Tell me where to hit him.”

“Don’t be kind,” Scott said as he finally tipped his head her way. “He can heal, and he’s fast — and he has mind control. Anywhere you can make it stick.”

“I’ll stick him,” K agreed, shaking out her hands a little bit before she flexed her fists.

“He can also create energy blasts from his eyes and hands,” Noh advised her. “He is formidable, but I would like to help you ‘stick’ him.” He grinned quietly. “He cannot turn off my powers as he can those of our teammates.”

“Excellent,” K said as she tipped her face up to him. “Do you think he can turn off people’s powers with three claws in his head?”

“Let’s investigate this,” Noh said with a smirk as the little group made its way down the riverbank on their way to the large building, close to the bend in the river, where Kate could already see a few big guys watching from the windows.

“Looks like it fell out of a Mary Shelley book,” K muttered quietly.

“I’ll introduce you to Doctor Frankenstein,” Kate muttered back.

K smirked at her and made a point to reach out and grab Scott’s arm. “You do whatever you need — the rest of us will make a mess, okay?”

“Just take care of yourselves,” he said low. “This guy… he doesn’t play nice.”

“Neither do I,” she replied easily. “And I promise I won’t do this like Logan — or like in training.” She took in the slightly confused look on Scott’s face before she fell back and turned her head toward Noh to speak very very quietly. “When you’re ready to get the big creep, come get me.”

He nodded just the slightest bit and matched her soft tone. “Do not stab me when I pick you up.”

“I’ll be watching for you,” she promised.

The group was about a few yards from the house when the first of the Marauders came to greet them — rushing forward to jump straight into a fight as one of them made a tackle for K and another two were headed for Noh and Jubilee.

“Why do they always go for the little girls first?” K asked as she started the fight with the guy that had tried to grab her.

“You’re just too cute to resist,” Kate said with a straight face as another two Marauders poured out of the open door toward her and Rachel. She had a quiver full of explosives at her hip and wasn’t drawing out of any other quiver, blowing the guys back several feet to keep them from getting close enough to do any damage.

The smoke from Kate’s explosive arrow hadn’t fully cleared the doorway when Scott rushed in, with no Marauder on his tail to stop him from getting to Annie, clearly intent on just finding his wife and getting out.

He knew that the others were still outside, and he could hear the sounds of the fight, but when he made his rush for the stairs leading down, he was surprised, and a bit perturbed, to find that there was not much in the way of resistance as he kept up at a sprint, heart in his throat.

He had reached the bottom of the stairs when he finally met up with the first signs of resistance — a pair of Marauders who had apparently been hanging back with their leader and just waiting for his arrival. Both of them rushed toward Scott, who didn’t even hesitate to blast them hard in the chest, knocking them backward and into each other — and though they got back up again, a second blast to each had them both down and out.

He could see where Annie was tied down to an exam table and had just taken two steps forward, his mouth dry as he tried to form her name and call out to her — let her know he was there — when all at once, he found himself entirely unable to move.

* * *

Outside, the group was making headway as more Marauders poured out of the building, easily replacing each of their fallen with two more men. It was an obvious attempt to simply wear them down by sheer numbers and fresh forces.

To K’s irritation, it appeared as if every one of these creeps had the same list of talents — thickened skin, enhanced strength, decreased pain receptors and intellect — and apparently, they learned from the mistakes of their fallen comrades.

She watched out of the corner of her eye as the others threw their all into it and fought hard and dramatically, while she started to slowly go from simple evasion and expected hits to much more streamlined attacks that left the fallen brick walls with one or maybe two individual stab wounds in just the right spot.

Jubilee looked positively amazing as she’d figured out how to get her plasmoids to concentrate and explode in a white hot burst of light so that, even with the diminished pain receptors, the Marauders hit were left screaming in agony.

Rachel was trying to shut down their minds as best she was able, but with very little mind of their own to begin with, it wasn’t long before she had just moved to evasion and trying to telekinetically lift her teammates out of reach when harm found them.

With Noh doing his precision and speed routine and Kate simply firing off explosion after explosion, it didn’t take too long for the group as a whole to simply clear the field — albeit temporarily. One thing that they could count on — hulking, walking, grunting walls of force did not move very quickly.

When it was clear that Noh and K were ready to go after Scott, Jubilee stole a kiss quickly for luck and told Noh she’d hang back with Rachel and Kate to keep the Marauders occupied while he and K went in after Scott and Annie — so that they only had to worry about Sinister and not his entourage.

K took just a moment to shake off a particularly nasty looking clot of ... something that was stuck to her hand before she started to approach the building with Noh.  
  
He offered her his hand as he brushed off the dirt on his uniform with the other almost absently. “I should warn you that when Wolverine faced this man when last we met, we quickly discovered that he can paralyze you with his mind. Or — I did, at least. I’m sure Wolverine knew this already,” he said.

“That doesn’t sound like much fun,” K admitted. “But … should that happen, you still have claws.” She turned her back to the building and held her arm out for him, slowly and very carefully showing him where the tendons ran and how to hit the reflex point to forcibly extract them. “Think you want to try that before you need it?” she offered.

He tipped his head to the side for a moment before, gently, he reached over to follow her instructions. “Let us hope we don’t need it,” he said with a slight smile.

“At least you won’t be without a good knife if you need it.”

He smirked at her for a moment. “Remind me to explain to you the use of my explosive fingernails.”

“I’ll try to remember,” she teased.

With that, he grinned at her and simply picked her up to take off at a run into the building, simply skirting around the Marauders headed out to fight on the grounds as they delved into the cellar to find Scott and Annie. They skidded to a stop just past where Scott was frozen to the spot, and Noh set K down as they both spun to face the tall, pale man standing between Scott and a clearly terrified Annie.

K used the leftover momentum to rush forward and hit Essex as hard as she could with both sets of claws right in the middle of his center mass, but she only got them drawn down a few inches before he flat backhanded her across the room. It was enough, though, to break Essex’s concentration for a second, and with half a shout, Scott blasted him off his feet and then rushed to where Annie was. “Annie, I’m so sorry,” he mumbled over and over again as he fumbled to get the restraints off, but to his frustration, he simply couldn’t get them undone. “K!” he shouted at last, drawing her attention as Noh dove in to try to tear into their opponent in the meantime.

The little brunette dodged through the ongoing fight between Essex and Noh — blasts and high-speed strikes moving too fast for most people to keep up with — to rush to Scott’s side. Before he could instruct her on what the problem was, the familiar snikt rang out, and for all of about two seconds, Scott saw the flash of an adamantium claw as she slashed the underside of the exam table that Annie was tied down to — cutting through the straps. As soon as the straps came loose, Scott just wrenched them off the table and pulled Annie up into his arms for a moment as it took her a second to realize she was free before she just fell apart on his shoulder, shaking with silent sobs.

While K was working to help Scott, Noh had thrown a punch that sent Sinister flat on his back, but when the man got back up before Noh could follow up, it was to point both hands at the Kree fighter and send an energy blast at him that sent Noh into the wall and left a dent as he crumpled.

K saw him fall and rushed forward while Essex still had his attention on Noh and stuck a set of claws into his kidney and the other set high in his back, the tips of which were sticking out of his chest. She didn’t even try to draw down this time, instead twisting as hard as she could to open up a heavily bleeding wound at both spots.

Essex cried out for a moment before he reached around and grabbed hold of K to pick her up and throw her hard over his shoulder, reaching out with his mind to paralyze her before she could hit the ground and then, for good measure, blasting her hard enough to let her skid across the floor. “Try that again, and I will put you down like the rabid dog you are,” he sneered at her before he turned his attention back to Scott and Annie.

His lip curled the slightest as he looked at Annie, who was clutched onto Scott’s, pale and still shaking. “I have to say, I’m disappointed, Scott,” he said in a sneer directed at Annie, though he had stopped even looking at her to just focus on Scott. “You have such potential — to squander it on this ordinary, unremarkable waste…” He shook his head as if he could hardly believe his own words. “She doesn’t even carry the gene.” His eyes glittered the slightest as he made a slight hum and shook his head again. “Easily remedied if you know how, of course, but I expected better of you.”

“I don’t care what you think,” Scott replied with venom, holding Annie that much tighter to him. “She’s perfect just the way she is, and you can stop meddling in my life.”

Essex’s response was something like a tut as he shook his head at Scott. “Such wasteful youth. The honeymoon period will end soon enough, and then you’ll tire of this simple girl.” He waved his hand almost unconcernedly. “There are samples enough that you brought here so willingly, and if you are in fact determined to keep this wretch you might at least find some better material to bring me when next we augment her abilities. Perhaps we could start with the firecracker — you do prefer telepaths, my boy.”

Noh had finally started to stir as Essex uttered his threats, and as soon as his head was clear enough to launch himself, he did just that, springing forward to simply dig his nails into the man’s chest, all but holding himself in place by Essex’ collar with one hand as he let the nails sink deep under the skin. He was fighting with a low hiss that only K could hear, and as soon as Essex managed to dislodge him, Scott let him have it with a blast that knocked him into the wall close to K, hard enough that he lay stunned for a few crucial seconds.

As Essex’s concentration broke, K launched forward with an unearthly snarl. As Essex raised his hands, K sliced them off in quick succession before she again sank her claws into his shoulders, bit down hard on his throat, and ripped her head back, tearing his throat wide open.

She pushed away from him hard and jogged backward to cover Scott and Annie as she watched the body start to slump, half crouched and ready for anything else the creep may try to pull. But instead, the diamond in the center of his forehead seemed to radiate a bright light for just a moment before the man switched bodies — and not a moment too soon, as only a second after the light left his eyes, Noh’s fingernails detonated, and there was really not much body left to contain.

“I am stabbing him in that stupid diamond next time,” K growled out as she very lightly trembled.

“Let us hope there is not a next time,” Noh said with a frown as he looked over to where Annie had simply buried her face in Scott’s chest as he carried her out of the building. “I didn’t like any of what I heard from that man, and I was only conscious for part of it,” he added in an undertone to K.  
  
“It wasn’t very friendly,” K replied, whisper quiet. “And it’s not really unique either.”

“Far rarer in this world and reality than others,” Noh said with a bit of a smile. “That is something, at least.”

“Not in my experience,” she answered as she looked down at her hands. “I made a small mess.”

Noh looked down at where bits of Essex had splattered his pants. “As did I.”

“He tastes awful,” she told him as she pulled a face.

“I’ll acquire some gum from Jubilee for you,” he offered.

“Thank you,” she said with a nod before looking over at Scott. “Are you two okay to walk out?”

Scott was holding onto Annie almost as tightly as she had her hands balled in his uniform shirt. “I’ve got her.”

“If it’s all the same to you, we’re going to stick close — just in case there are any little surprises,” K told him in a tone that simply left no room for argument.

He just nodded her way and adjusted his grip on Annie the slightest bit before the three of them made their way back out of the building — which, to their surprise and relief, seemed relatively clear of Marauders besides the two Scott had knocked out on the way down.

Though it was quickly clear where the Marauders had gone when they got outside to find the rest of their team. All three girls were lying flat on their backs in the grass — though not unconscious, just panting and gasping and clearly exhausted as they were surrounded by downed Marauders on all sides. Rachel picked her head up just the slightest bit when she heard them coming and let out a soft sigh. “Oh good. You got out,” she said before she put her head back down on the ground. I’m glad Annie’s alright, she added Scott’s way, genuine and warm in a way that was easier to convey telepathically when she was physically too tired for more than that.

“Can you guys get on the jet?” K asked. “Or do you need help?”

For a second, Jubilee looked like she might ask for a ride back, but when she saw Noh — who was nearly as splattered and bloody as K — she just groaned and rolled over to push herself up on her elbows. “I think we’ve got a few hundred feet of walking left in us.”

“Between Scott snuggling Annie, everyone else wiped out, and me a filthy dripping mess — I think that means you’re flying, sweetie,” K said to Noh.

Noh nodded and tipped his head at Scott. “I will fly her gently. You take care of your beloved.”

Scott just nodded wordlessly, climbing onto the jet with Annie still in his arms — neither of them looked like they would let go any time soon.


	8. Family Interests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Scott tries to explain to Annie all the crazy that is Mr. Sinister. (There's a lot.) Jubilee is worried that there are too many emotions. (There sure are.) And a few familiar bad guys rear their ugly mugs.

 

* * *

By the time the blackbird landed in the hangar, almost everyone in the jet had simply fallen asleep, more or less exhausted. Annie hadn't let go of Scott in the least as they got on the plane and had simply fallen asleep like that, both hands in his shirt and just wiped out. And the three girls who had taken on the Marauders outside while K and Noh went after Scott and Annie had all drifted off as well, so Noh landed as quietly as possible.

Kurt and Logan were in the hangar when they arrived, more than a little confused by the lack of anyone around when they'd gotten back from their run, and as the sleepy faces came out of the plane one by one, they started to piece it together. Scott and Annie quietly making their way by everyone at a quick pace was just the cherry on the cake.

"Kate?" Kurt called out, concerned as to what would have happened.

"Hiya, Elf," she said as she just walked over and put her head on his chest tiredly and nuzzled in. "You missed all the excitement."

Noh and Jubilee came out half holding each other, though it was apparent that he was a total mess even as he smiled their way on passing. Right behind them, K was making her way forward, her head tipped down as she flicked off little bits of flesh and goo that she'd missed on boarding.

Logan and Kurt both took half a step back when she finally looked up at them and gave them a tight friendly smile. "You two missed out on all the action," she informed them. "And I really, really need a shower — and a bottle of mouthwash."

Logan started to ask who they'd been fighting, but when he got a bit closer to her, he pulled a face and shook his head. "You bit Sinister?"

She just shrugged lightly in response. "He was asking for it," she defended. "And my hands were full."

"He came after Annie," Kate mumbled into Kurt's chest.

"And he said a lot of rotten crap when I couldn't move," K added. "Freakin' _samples_ ," she muttered — just loud enough for Logan to catch.

"But we got her back. And now it's time to sleep," Kate said, still without lifting her head off of Kurt's chest.

"Shower first. I stink," K said before she grinned at Logan. "Wanna help?"

"Yeah, yeah, I think I'd like to hear what happened — and what was said," Logan told her, offering his arm to her. "If you get around to it." He gave Kurt a little look and a shake of his head as the two of them headed off and Kurt turned his attention to Kate.

"How tired are you?" he asked quietly before he kissed her forehead. "You might sleep better after a shower yourself. You're not covered in Sinister, but still …"

She grinned tiredly up at him. "Oh, I don't think I could manage it on my own," she said. "Might fall over."

"It seems to be a theme tonight — save water, shower with a friend."

"You're not even a little sorry," she said with a little laugh. She wrapped her arms around his waist. "I think I could make it with a cute Elf to keep me upright."

At that, Kurt just grinned, and the two of them disappeared in a puff of blue smoke.

…..

Noh had just changed out of his Sinister-covered clothes when Jubes came back from the kitchen. She'd stopped off to get some sugar to recharge after she'd gone all out on the Marauders — especially after Kate ran out of arrows — and looked like she was still tired even with the handful of candy she was working on.

He stretched out on the bed with his hands behind his head and a small smile as he watched her for a moment and then leaned over to pull her onto the bed with him. "You are exhausted. Sleep. Rest. I'll tuck you in and everything," he told her as he started to do just that, pulling the blankets around her and up to nearly her ears with a little smile.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He smiled at her. "I am tired, but I'm fine. I think you are _far_ more exhausted than I am."

She frowned a little at that and tried to settle in but just couldn't quite relax. "Can I ask you a question? I mean … Are you okay? With this? All of it."

He frowned slightly as he tipped his head down at her. "I'm not sure I follow your meaning. I'm perfectly content, if a little sore."

"I guess I'm not being very clear, and part of it's probably because I'm tired — but also I just ... I … want to be sure that there aren't too many … emotions. Happening. Right now. They tend to cloud your mind."

He laughed easily. "Perhaps for Terrans," he allowed. "But if you are concerned, I can tuck those away when I fight. I know Kate has said she doesn't want her boyfriend to be concerned over her in the middle of a battle… would you prefer I do the same after we are married? Or even before? It would be a simple thing."

"No, no that's not it at all," Jubilee said with a shake of her head. "I just mean ... I want to be sure you still _want_ to get married. It was very, very ... emotional when you asked — and I don't want you to feel like you're making a mistake later, alright?" She finished her question very quietly and with her shoulders shrugged up.

He tipped his head at her, a slight frown on his face. "Do you love me?" he asked simply.

"Of course I do," she said brightly. "I really, really do."

"And I you," he said, still studying her. "And I was under the impression that is why Terrans get married. Have I been wrong?"

"No, you're completely right," she said before she let out a deep breath. "It's just ... complicated. I mean. Look at Kate and K and how _stupid_ they are. Just — for a second." She paused to watch him tip his head a bit at her as she put her hands up. "They are like ... it's clear how much they're in love — and hopefully, Kate will get over whatever has her tweaked out, because Kurt would do _anything_. But he won't _tell her_. So ... stupid emotions are getting in their way — you know?"

"And are stupid emotions stopping you?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"No!" she said shaking her head. "I just — I don't want you realizing later that you got swept up and found someone better. Later."

Noh started to smile warmly at her and just leaned over to kiss her cheek. "That, my dear Jubilee, is simply a result of a lack of real temporal education on your planet. To throw away what is for what might be? A cadet-level error, and one I have personally pledged never to make again."

"I don't know that's it," she said. "I'm not being clear." She looked more tired suddenly as she tried to explain. "We get overly emotional sometimes. We let past mistakes of our own and other people mess with us." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to clear her head. "And our friends are actual idiots and perfect examples of what I am _trying_ to say."

Noh just shook his head at her. "Jubilee, I'm not Terran," he pointed out. "True, when I proposed to you, it was a moment of ecstasy — but I do not make decisions like that lightly." He smiled at her crookedly. "It is one of the joys of living on your world — I can choose that freedom and path for myself. Why would I turn from that?"

"I was just ... trying to give you a free pass if you had changed your mind," she said in a rush. "I have _not._ "

He just grinned wider and kissed her gently. "I have _not_ changed my mind. Please — allow me to show you."

"Anytime you like," she replied, looking incredibly relieved.

…...

After everything that had happened, Scott had decided to just ... allow Annie to sleep as long as she needed to. He stayed with her so that she wouldn't wake up alone, but even after it was clear that she _was_ awake, she didn't move except to pull the blankets a bit tighter over her shoulders. He frowned for a moment and started to stand, thinking maybe she just needed some time, but she let out a sigh as soon as he did and finally turned to look at him.

"Don't leave," she said softly. "Just… tell me he's not coming back."

He sat back down and frowned. "I can't tell you that, Annie. But he's _not_ going to get to you again," he added with far more conviction to his tone than he actually felt.

"Who was he?" she asked, pushing herself up a bit to lean on the pillows so she could look at him better.

"His name is Essex. He's a geneticist and—"

"Who was he to _you_?" Annie asked, cutting him off with a sharp glare. When he paused, she let out a breath. "I never pressed, I never asked — your past is yours, and heaven knows you've been trying to overcome it long enough without me pulling at those scars. But Scott ... that man…. Who was he?"

He ran his hand through his hair and let out a deep breath. "I don't know how to even start to explain that but to say that he has haunted me my whole life." He looked down at his hands and shook his head slowly.

When he seemed to be at a loss for words, Annie sat up straighter and put a hand on his arm with a bit of a glare. "Scott, I'm your _wife_. And you're supposed to tell me these things."

"I know," he replied. "I'm trying … I just. There's so much."

The glare softened the slightest bit as she let out a sigh. "Then tell me why he wanted me. We'll start from there so that I can understand just what circus I've married into," she said, shaking her head. "Why does he even _care_ who you married?"

"You have to understand," he started finally. "He has an obsession with my family line that has gone on for almost a hundred years." He turned to look at her properly. "Him. Not a family obsessed with a family. Him."

She was watching him carefully as her eyes widened in understanding, and she finally nodded with her lips parted in a little 'o.' "Well," she said softly. "That would make him interested in your marriage, I guess. Still very creepy."

"Yes. Very, very creepy," Scott agreed. "But he's been overly persistent with me in particular. Since I was a kid." He was speaking quietly, almost unable to meet her gaze as he thought on all the wrong that Sinister had caused since he was ten years old.

She had settled back into a glare, but this time, it was not meant for Scott. "And he just — what, invites himself into your life all the time?" She had her hands in fists.

"That's the long and short of it, yes." He looked up at her with that same set to his jaw that he had earlier in the evening. "But I'm going to find a way to stop him. We were really close today."

She let out a sigh and reached over to take one of his hands in hers. "Yes, I guess having someone on your team who _bites through flesh_ and someone else who can _blow people up_ is a step toward taking down someone like that." She kept her voice level, but her eyes were wide. "Scott, I've seen your team train, but…"

"Both K and Noh have been holding back during training," Scott admitted. "They've been trying not to kill anyone — because, X-Men don't kill. But for him, I asked them to just let go."

She gave his hand a little squeeze and went for a small smile. "I think," she said quietly, "I think you're going to need to tell me more than I know right now. Because that…." She sighed. "I wasn't prepared for that at all."

"If you want to know the truth — I wasn't exactly prepared for that either, and I'm used to working with Logan," Scott admitted with a little smirk. "But I'll tell you everything you want to know."

She let out a sigh and leaned over to rest her chin on his shoulder. "Why don't we get some food, bring it back here, and you can start talking, honey," she said softly. "And please, don't spare the details. I think you might have missed a few important ones when we were dating."

…..

The board room was dimly lit, but the members of the board didn't need more than the few lamps in the edges of the room — they knew exactly who had been invited and had taken the proper precautions.

Each of the members sat down in their usual seats, with Wilson Fisk at the head of the table as usual. They had just sent away one assassin to finish what should have been finished ages ago, and the conversation was at a minimum as their next 'guest' arrived, taking the only unoccupied seat at the long table as she did so.

Beside Fisk, Madame Masque was positively brimming with pleasure as she shifted the pictures and documentation in the file, looking over the stolen images with ill-concealed delight before she pushed it toward Mystique at the end of the table. Beyond this, not a word was spoken as the board members gave their assassin a moment to look over and familiarize herself with her target.

"I find it hard to believe you need my assistance with this … matter," Mystique said as she shoved the folder back toward Masque. "She's a child. Hardly worth all the trouble."

Masque made a little noise in the back of her throat, but it was Fisk who said, with a wave, "She _was_ a minor annoyance. But she's under the protection of the X-Men — who, somehow, managed to procure her inheritance early." He looked displeased. "One of our members was killed by the Wolverine, and now she controls a great sum of the money owed us."

"That's not how they operate," Mystique said with a sneer. "Even him."

"It doesn't matter how it happened," Fisk said with an even deeper frown. "Just that this… _child_ now controls a portion of the empire we helped her father to build. And she continues to be a plague on our partnership with her new… allies."

"You know my fee," she said coolly.

"And you'll have it," Fisk agreed, but Masque made another noise in the back of her throat, and she leaned forward with the displeasure obvious even with the mask over her face.

"You haven't told her about the _boy_ ," Masque all but hissed at him, turning to Mystique when Fisk didn't respond quickly enough for her liking. "That child is dating your _son_ ," she sneered.

"Why should I care who she's _dating_?" Mystique replied.

"She's hardly seen without him," Masque all but snarled. "And if it's going to be a problem for you — to tear this girl from him if you have to — then I move we hire someone else."

"All that means to me is that I will make sure she dies more slowly," she said with some venom to her voice. "But if you find someone else that is willing to go after her while she's running with Wolverine — be my guest." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I'll wait."

Masque slid back in her seat, and Fisk gave her a sort of glare, but she didn't seem to have anything further to say. He turned back to Mystique with something almost like a smile. "We'll leave it to your discretion as to _how_ you fulfil your contract. But it may interest you that we've already sent another after her partner. So if you want the element of surprise…." He let the statement hang in the air.

"Consider it done," she said lazily. "After half the payment is in my account."

Fisk just nodded. "Then we're in agreement," he said simply. "You will receive the rest after you deliver."

"Until then," she said as she got to her feet. She stepped outside of the board room as it began to break up and she hadn't made it beyond the elevator when Viper slid in next to her with a greasy smile on her face.

"Your target is running with Wolverine," Viper said. "That doesn't concern you?" Mystique let out a little derisive laugh as she shook her head. "Well if you don't mind too terribly much, I think I'd like to help to keep him out of the way while you finish off the girl.".

Mystique sneered her way. "And they were worried _I_ would have a conflict of interest."

Viper glared at her. "There was a price on his head before — that much has not changed," she shot back. "That is my _only_ conflict."

"No, dear, your only conflict now is what the split on the payout is going to be," Mystique replied. "It seems as if you would benefit from this partnership more than I would as it stands. If you go with me, we share what we can collect on him — and use the girl for bait to lure him to us." She smiled widely. "As nice of a contract this is on her — I know the payout for the other one is higher."

"And the only snag in our plan is your son." Viper was staring off at the top of the elevator door as if that held the answer. "Will you weep if something happens to him in the crossfire?"

"I guess we'll have to wait and see, won't we?" Mystique replied.


	9. One Hawkeye Down...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Natasha Romanoff isn't entirely sure how she ended up in the middle of all this crazy, but she's here now, and apparently it's her job to keep everything running... and to keep her favorite archer alive.

 

* * *

"Thanks for agreeing to meet with me on such short notice," Scott said as he offered Natasha a chair.

"What can I do for you today, Cyclops?" she said as she sat down in the seat across from him and folded her hands in front of her. "I can't say that I recall ever having a formal meeting with you before."

Scott smirked the slightest bit. "I can't say we've ever had this much of a reason to ask for your expertise," he replied. "The truth is, we've added a new member to our ranks, and I could use your advice."

"I can't say that I was expecting to hear that today," she said with a tiny smirk. "What kind of advice can I offer?"

He tipped his head her way. "There's a woman who goes by just 'K.' She has an entire file in Fury's office that I'm sure has _not_ been read through by anyone other than who he's shown it to," he added with a bit of a smirk her way. "And she's currently living here in the mansion."

"Why?" Natasha had put on the tiniest of frowns as she tipped her head slightly.

"That's what we do," Scott pointed out. "She was in trouble, she's a mutant, and we helped."

"That is an open check for anyone that pops up who happens to be the proud owner of the X-gene, isn't it?" Natasha asked. "Just harboring random mutants on the basis of one gene?"

He frowned the slightest bit. "I wouldn't have let her stay if Fury hadn't shown me her entire file," he said frankly. "But for now, she's part of the team, and that's why I asked you here."

"Going a bit beyond harboring then, aren't you?" Natasha took in a deep breath and studied him for a moment before she chose her words carefully. "The file in Fury's safe contains everything you need to know about that particular mutant for any … operational purposes. Anything more specific than that, you'll need to ask your questions more directly."

Scott nodded quietly. "That file tells me what she can do at her peak, but not… in as imaginative a way as in person," he explained. "The file doesn't really capture that."

"She wasn't ever cooperative with any of her handlers," Natasha said. "She did the job — clean and fast — but only the bare bones."

"That's how she is in training, too," Scott told her. "She holds back considerably there, and she won't let anyone run her through a reasonable evaluation." He took a deep breath and leaned back. "So my question to you is this — how do I evaluate what she can do without having to find out in the middle of a battle when it's a surprise?"

"I'm guessing she's refused to cooperate with most of the rules you try to operate by," Natasha said flatly. "How do you usually get uncooperative team members to do what you'd like?"

"Honestly, it's usually a matter of gaining their trust until they're ready to show us their powers," Scott told her.

"So why not do that with her?"

"I'm not sure what more we can do to gain her trust," Scott said. "She's integrated well. She's even dating within the team — but when we were in the field recently… honestly, that was the first time I've seen her let loose. And I'm starting to realize that what's contained in that file was woefully inadequate."

"I can only tell you what I know personally from the handful of times we crossed paths," Natasha said. "Whatever the job is? She'll find a way to get it done and generally get out before anyone can pin it on her."

"Yeah, I've seen that firsthand," Scott said. "But how do I keep from being surprised? I can't operate my team at its best if I don't know what my team can _do_."

"If she won't do an evaluation and she only lets loose when she's actually working, I think the only thing you _can_ do is just ... spend more time with her in the field."

Scott let out a sigh. "I'll be honest, that wasn't the answer I was hoping for."

"Or ... you can always wind up Logan and send him at her, that usually shakes them loose," she said with a little laugh and an amused smile.

He had to smirk at that but shook his head. "No, that wouldn't work. They'd only end up…" He waved his hand. "They're … dating."

She arched one perfect eyebrow at him for a moment. "Really?" she asked, and when Scott just held her gaze, she let out a little noise that it didn't sound like she could quite contain. "Well then, I'd suggest you ask for his help. Maybe he's seen more than you have. Otherwise, you'll just have to learn how she thinks. Maybe chess?"

Scott had to smile at that. "You know, that's the first suggestion I think I can run with," he said. He let out a sigh. "Alright. I know you have places to be — Kate told me you and Hawkeye had plans. I won't keep you."

"If you have any trouble with her, let me know, would you?" Natasha said as she stood to leave. "I might be able to help."

"I'll keep your number handy," he promised.

"And Cyclops," Natasha said, pausing in the doorway with an implacable smirk. "Good luck."

She was still smirking to herself as she left the mansion, shaking her head as she thought of the newest addition to the X-Men. She tended not to get involved with that group -—for various reasons, not all of them solid — but with the smallest Hawkeye as well as her little uncle making fairly solid homes there, it seemed she was at the school more and more all the same.

But she didn't think much of it and instead focused her attention on the drive down to Clint's apartment building. She wasn't entirely sure when the two of them had started doing things like 'making plans' together again, maybe sometime after she'd started making it a point to check on him after he took the breakup with Jess hard… or maybe sometime after she figured out _why_ Jess had broken up with him.

Or maybe it was just that they were falling back into old habits. They had been partners long before either of them had been Avengers. Lovers, even, back when their biggest problem had been the fact that Tony Stark hadn't managed to die by their hand yet. Years later, Natasha still felt the same urge to act when she saw him hurting that she knew — because he had told her so — he felt when he saw the same.

It wasn't love. That was too simple a way to put it. To be honest, Natasha didn't _have_ a name for it, but when she pulled into a parking space close by the old building, with a couple of arrows still sticking out of window sills from whatever most recent fight Clint was in, she didn't think about it.

She wasn't surprised to find that Clint wasn't quite ready to meet her — he was almost always running late — so she let herself into the apartment building and headed up to where she knew she could at least rub his dog's ears and belly while she waited. More than likely, he'd gotten distracted talking to one of his dozens of neighbors.

There was something wonderful about this apartment building, the change it brought out in Clint — or really, the something that had always been there but was now ever-present. It was the same way when he ran the Avengers — the man needed people to take care of. It was part of the reason he was so very, _very_ bad at being on his own.

A few of the neighbors were sure to say hello to Natasha when they saw her. She wasn't as regular a fixture as Kate, who had practically lived here before she moved into the school with Nightcrawler (Natasha had looked him up and delved so deeply into his background that if he ever hurt Kate, she already had nine different applicable _consequences_ depending upon her mood and how much Kate was hurting), but she came often enough that she was known as "Nat" to those that had heard Clint call her that.

When she got to Clint's door and knocked, there was no answer, and she let out a sigh as she pulled out her own key — that was, she promised Clint, a more recent acquisition and not something she'd had made as soon as he bought this place — and let herself in. If nothing else, she would wait with Lucky until Clint remembered that he was _supposed_ to meet her there.

But when she shouldered through the door, she was surprised to find the reason for the silence as she immediately spotted the broken and overturned furniture, signs of a struggle… and followed it back until she finally found Clint and a black-clad assailant locked together. Both of them were bloody and bruised, but it looked like Clint — his bow on the other side of the room, likely knocked from his hands — was losing, and badly, as his assailant had managed to get behind him, wrapping a thin wire around Clint's neck.

Natasha took all of this in, in a matter of seconds — the overturned furniture, the blood, the wide, blue eyes — before she jumped in without hesitation, first to shoot Clint's attacker and then to rush over in case that didn't do the job properly. After all, with the way he was straddling her former partner, Natasha couldn't take quite the efficient shots she usually would.

Still, she'd managed to shoot through the man's shoulder and the followup shot shattered the elbow of that same arm, and his grip on the wire went slack on one side — at least enough that Clint was able to breathe again, in great, gasping, _desperate_ breaths that for some reason made Natasha's heart stop when she heard it.

She didn't pause to check Clint over — she would do that later — and instead simply rushed for the black-clad man, taking him to the ground and driving her thumbs into two pressure points that she had learned long ago from Logan that had the assailant screaming in agony before she hit him with an uppercut that shut him up quickly enough.

"There are children down the hall," she snapped irritably — because there were, and she'd just said hello to their single father.

The man tried to pull a knife on her — she saw the flash of silver in his hands — and she just got mad for a moment before she put her knee in the socket of his shoulder as she pinned him to the ground, her hand on his wrist to pin it there too once she had him where she wanted him. She gave a great shove, and his shoulder dislocated — both arms were now useless.

Another uppercut and a kick to the temple, and the black-clad intruder was unconscious and badly beaten, though Natasha didn't stop until she had tied him up so he couldn't go anywhere until she had answers before she turned her attention to Clint.

The archer was pretty well battered — though to his credit, so was his assailant, even before Natasha had arrived — and he was bleeding in several places, including a long line where the wire had cut into his throat. She crouched down beside him and took his face in her hands to look him over a little closer, and he smiled at her crookedly and mumbled something that sounded like, "I had him on the ropes."

"No, you didn't."

"Well, there were ropes."

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him as a smirk flitted across her features without her permission before she let out a little noise of frustration once she'd finished her cursory inspection. "You're going to need to go to the hospital."

"Get my card stamped," Clint said with that same messy grin, though he hadn't moved much from where he was half spread out on the floor and propped up at the wall. "Ten visits means I get a prize."

"Clint." She raised an eyebrow at him.

He just chuckled, a strangely bubbly sound that had her more than a little concerned and checking him closer on her second pass. She let out a hum of annoyance when she realized that there was likely more damage than she could see, and she brushed his hair back as she checked for any sign of a head injury, her lips pressed together into a thin line.

Clint leaned back against the wall once she had released him, looking every bit as tired as he had every right to feel. "Who's the guy?" he asked in a raspy voice, gesturing vaguely with one hand toward the unconscious would-be assassin.

At the moment, Natasha was less concerned with the man's identity than she was with her wounded ex-partner, but she pushed that concern aside with a practiced ease. He wasn't dying, just hurt.

"I don't know yet," she said as she made her way over to the black-clad man, kicking him experimentally with the toe of her boot before she crouched down to yank the mask off of his face and frowning further still when she didn't recognize him.

"Nat?" Clint prompted.

She let out a breath. "Sadly, Hawkeye, you just don't rate anyone higher on the scale," she teased lightly as she turned the man's head, memorizing his features quickly for identification later. He didn't have anything else with him that could identify him other than his weapons — just the basic assassin stock and trade. She got to her feet as she turned back to her ex-partner, already pulling out her phone. "We'll let SHIELD deal with him, pick him up. You," she said, gently pulling him to his feet, "need to get to a hospital."

Lucky came poking his head around the corner, and Natasha's lips pressed even tighter together when she heard his low whine and saw the way he was favoring one side as he prodded Clint's hand with his nose until Clint scratched him behind the ears.

"And Lucky," Clint said before Natasha could say as much.

"And Lucky," she agreed, shaking her head at the pair of them before she crouched down to Lucky's height to affectionately ruffle his ears. "What did you do, Lucky?"

"Tried to bite off the guy's ear," Clint said. "Good dog."

Natasha smiled down at Lucky and ruffled his ears once more before she took hold of Clint to lead him toward the door. "Come on, you two," she said, wondering vaguely how it was that she'd wound up back in the mess of Clint's life — though with a tied-up assassin in his hallway and at least a couple of bruised ribs, by her estimate after she'd looked him over, she put that thought aside. She'd never been able to make sense of Clint anyway.


	10. Cafe du Monde

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Board of Evil comes after the other (some would say better) Hawkeye, and since she's with the X-Men now, they run into some trouble as well... in Remy's hometown, too. (At least they got chickory coffee!)

 

* * *

It was just good luck that Kate had come into the computer room when Jubilee was going through some intel for Scott, so that she was the first to see the surveillance footage of Madame Masque in New Orleans. Jubilee _had_ been looking for signs of the Marauders, after Annie's recent run-in, but Kate wasn't about to ignore the appearance of her nemesis.

She double-checked the date stamp over Jubilee's shoulder and then broke into a grin as she clapped her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Feel like taking a road trip with me?" she asked. "I bet we can get Remy to come too if we tell him where we're going."

"Um? You bet I wanna go — actual good food instead of that slop Remy likes to _say_ is 'authentic'?"

Kate grinned. "Great. You get to pick the restaurant for the victory party then," she decided. "Let's grab us a Remy and maybe some cute boys if they're available and not, you know, off doing daring do or whatever." She was in a great mood as she pocketed the intel to put into the blackbird's navigation systems and threw her arm around Jubilee's shoulders to steer her toward the Danger Room.

To their delight, Noh was there working through a difficult program. He had asked Kurt to help him run a few sims — he wanted someone in the booth to throw him surprises so he could keep up his reflexes. So when the two girls made their way to the booth, Jubilee didn't mind at all settling in to watch the end of Noh's program as Kate grabbed Kurt by the waist to inform him that they were going after Masque, but if he got himself shot again, she would never forgive him.

"I promise, I do try to avoid things like that," he said with a little smile as he reached over to the controls to end Noh's program. "Is it just the four of us, then?" he asked.

"No, we're bringing Remy. But only as a tour guide," Kate replied, grinning. "Masque is in New Orleans."

"Ah, then he would come whether we invited him or not," Kurt said with a laugh.

When Noh joined them in the booth and Kate explained to him what the plan was, he broke into a wicked sort of a grin. "Yes, I was hoping to have a rematch with this woman. Last time, the circumstances were less than ideal."

"Well, try and leave some fun for the rest of us," Kate teased as the group of them headed out of the booth toward the hangar — with a quick pit stop in the living room to grab Remy and tell him what they were going to do.

Gambit was half draped over the couch, lazing about when they found him and explained. "Dis de same woman what shot Kurt a while back, Miss Kate?" he asked with a frown, and when she nodded, he just leaned his head back a bit with a smirk. "Well, we gon' get dis snake. When we leavin'?"

"Right now," Kate told him, and he just grinned wider at that.

The group of them wasted no time, and jumped into the blackbird with Kate at the stick and Kurt right beside her in co-pilot as she reminded him, just for good measure, that he was _not_ allowed to get shot this time. The point was even punctuated by one of the bamfs, who stuck his little finger in Kurt's face in time with Kate's words almost like they'd rehearsed it, even though they hadn't.

"I'm beginning to wonder _whose_ little demons they are," Kurt said with a furrowed brow as the tiny bamf broke down into a fit of giggles and poofed away.

"You know you love it," Kate teased him, and he couldn't help but laugh at her easy dismissal.

"Ah, yes, but only because I love you," he teased right back, to her delight.

When they arrived in New Orleans, there was still a fair bit of hustle and bustle on the streets even in the early morning, though it wasn't nearly as crowded as if would have been just a few days ago at the peak of the New Year's celebrations.

All that Kate had on the intel was that Masque had _been_ there, but as they passed the Cafe du Monde, Jubilee insisted that they had to stop and get something."It's still _early._ And I didn't get to eat anything," she mock-whined as she dragged her feet and made a show of it. "Kate. _Kate_. The coffee. The chicory coffee … come. On."

Kate gave her an appraising look and turned toward the cafe, biting her bottom lip as she weighed it out. "It's just not _fair_ ," she murmured as Kurt tried and failed to hide his laugh at how clearly torn she was over getting coffee or going after Masque. "Using the goodness that is coffee _against me._ "

"Trust me," Jubilee said, threading her arm with Kate's. "You do not want to skip this." The rest of the group was just as easily swayed — probably moreseo — as Jubilee and Remy redirected them into the cafe for beignets and a quick breakfast.

Jubilee was in heaven, half covered with powdered sugar and giggling madly as they listened to Remy melt all over himself about bein' back home. No one was sure how, but the ol' swamp rat's accent seemed to somehow get heavier the more he talked, and the whole group of them were _loving_ it.

Noh was absolutely enchanted by the ever-deepening accent and the stories… though he had to frown a bit when Remy started to slow down — before he noticed that the others were also in much more relaxed states than this much coffee would usually warrant. "Is the chicory coffee meant to be a depressant rather than a stimulant?" he asked curiously, confused as even Jubilee seemed content to just lean over and put her head on his shoulder with a sedate, sleepy smile on her face.

He was just starting to get alarmed when he felt the telltale prick of a dart in his neck, and of the group, Noh was the first to slump into unconsciousness.

* * *

Scott was smirking a bit to himself, both entertained and learning more than he thought he would as he watched from the booth as Logan and K cut their way through a particularly difficult sim — joking and flirting all the way through. It wasn't his first choice, but Natasha had been right about this one anyhow — and the show was good.

The two ferals had found a rhythm that was practically seamless, and it was right when things were getting good _and_ K was giving Logan a hard time that he had no solid responses for when Scott's phone rang.

"Of course," Scott muttered to himself as he picked up the phone. "Always when it's getting interesting." He pressed the button to answer it and barely got it to his ear before the caller came through.

Noh didn't even wait for the customary Earth greeting before he started. "Help, please!" he said, his tone urgent and his words slightly slurred. "The others — they are gone!"

"Noh, slow down — what's going on?" Scott asked, already concerned as he turned away from the little scream/laugh that echoed the Danger Room below. "Where are you?"

"It is ... this place with the most delicious powdered delicacies."

Scott frowned. "Noh, that's not—"

"Remy lives here," Noh tried to explain, obviously struggling to get his words out.

Scott put a hand to the bridge of his nose and let out a sigh. "Alright. Stay where you are — or get somewhere safe. We'll come get you," he said.

"It is not me — Scott, you _must_ find the others. My Jubilee - Kate, Kurt!"

"What happened?"

"I do not know!" Noh sounded more upset than Scott thought was possible for the Kree warrior. "You must help me find them."

"Right. We'll be there as soon as we can." Scott hung up the phone and immediately reached over to turn off the sim. He had a ready-made rescue team; might as well put K in the field and see what she could do while they figured out what had gone wrong.

When the sim died suddenly, instead of the usual complaint that came up from Logan, there was a little shocked sound from K, and by the time Scott had turned his head to see what had gone wrong, he wished he hadn't as the two of them were kissing instead of listening.

Scott let out a sigh and pressed his hand to the intercom. "We're going to the hangar," he told them. "Noh's in trouble, and it sounds like some of the others are too."

It still took a moment before the two of them separated, but when they did, they didn't even acknowledge what Scott had said as they ran out of the room. For a moment, Scott wondered if they'd heard him at all, but when he spotted them on the way down to the hangar, he just had to let out a frustrated sigh. Some acknowledgment would have been nice, but at least they were _there_.

He went right to the mini jet, since the blackbird was gone from the hangar, and jumped in the cockpit as he explained to the two of them what Noh had told him over the phone. "He didn't sound like he _could_ give me more details," Scott admitted.

"Did you ask him really nice?" K teased as she let Logan pull her back next to him. "He's usually _very_ helpful. And very open."

"It sounded like he was having a hard time speaking," Scott told her frankly as he prepped them for takeoff. "All he really got out was that he didn't know where the others were. He was pretty insistent on that point: the fact that Jubilee, Kate, and Kurt are missing."

"Well that's not very encouraging," K said with a little frown as she settled in a little more upright. "Where are we headed?"

"New Orleans," Scott replied. "I double-checked the GPS on Noh's comm on the way down — he wasn't exactly clear on more specifics for his location, either."

"What did he tell you?" Logan asked, finally putting his game face on. "About where he was?"

"He said ... Remy lives there. And there was something about powdered sugar delicacies."

"That actually makes sense in a very Noh way," K said, with Logan nodding lightly in agreement. "Could you go for some chicory coffee, Scotty?"

"Right now, I'd just like to know where our friends are," Scott said with a sigh, not catching the little smirk K was wearing. "All of them."

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head at him. "We gotta start with where they were, right?"

"Noh's signal hasn't moved, so yeah. We'll start there," Scott said, and Logan just shared a glance with K — in pure disbelief that he hadn't figured it out. Especially with the hints K had dropped him.

K shrugged her shoulders up to her ears and sat on her hands before she leaned forward so Scott might have a chance of looking her in the face if he turned his head. "Is it on Decatur Street?" K asked in an almost husky whisper, wide-eyed as she bit her bottom lip.

Scott's eyebrows shot up, but he checked the tracker and just nodded before he turned her way with a confused expression on his face. "Looks like."

"You're _really_ not much of a foodie are you? World famous beignets and chicory coffee, fearless sweet cheeks," she told him. "You really need to see the sights when you travel a little bit. Even if it's just for a cup of coffee."

"Tell you what," Scott said, tipping his head her way slightly. "Once we get everyone safe? I'll let you buy me a cup," he said with a smirk.

"Oh… nice try, slick. No, no. Once we get everyone safe, _you'll_ buy _me_ dinner," she countered with a little laugh.

He shook his head at her. "We'll just see who finds a place to eat first."

"Let me be your guide, Sunglasses," she teased, nestled into Logan's side. "Just wake me when we get there. I'm looking forward to dinner with two handsome men."

Scott just shook his head at that, deciding to focus on getting them there, and fast, instead of picking.

When they got to the Cafe du Monde, Noh looked almost stoned — or at the very least on _something_ — as he waited for them near the wrought iron fencing surrounding the patio. The three of them went right up to him, and K made a point to take him to a chair to sit down and try to talk to him as Scott and Logan dealt with Remy — who was still a bit out of it himself.

"Sweet, sparkly baby boy," K said as she had to physically take his head in her hands to get him to focus on her. "What happened?"

"The coffee was not a stimulant," he told the air beyond her shoulder. "And then ... poison. For me at least."

At mention of the poison, she stood up and leaned in close to take a good sniff at his neck before she let out a shrill whistle and shot Logan and Scott a look that had Logan heading over while Remy kept yammering about the coffee. "How does he clean out his system?" K asked, looking between Logan and Scott. She was already walking over to someone's table nearby. She ignored the sounds of protest she got from the lovesick couple as she picked up and smelled a glass of water that she'd plucked from in front of the woman.

"Do not drink anything!" Noh said in alarm.

"Noh, honey, I can smell what they gave you, and it's not in the water," she promised. "Drink this so we can go find Jubilee."

At the mention of Jubilee, he straightened slightly and took the glass from her without a word, draining the whole thing before he closed his eyes for a moment. "I'll need more," he said quietly, in a shaky voice.

"I'll get it for you myself," she told him. K gave Logan a look and tapped two fingers to the side of her neck, indicating where Noh had been darted before she turned and headed off in search of a tray full of water.

"Can you tell me what happened now, or do you need a gallon to go through first?" Logan asked, already eyeing the bruised spot at Noh's neck.

Noh let out a soft breath and opened his eyes to look at Logan. "The others — they were not poisoned. Not in the same manner I was," he said, slowly and carefully, working his mouth around the words.

K returned with the water and set the whole tray down on the table, less one glass that she took to Remy — though when she told Remy to drink it, she promised him she'd hold him down and pour it down his throat if he was set on being stubborn, even as he insisted he wouldn't be able to fight her if she sat on his lap.

Noh gratefully downed several glasses, and it was clear his gaze was more focused when he turned to the two of them and actually settled on Logan. "We stopped here for coffee, and all of them — they all slowed down. It was not darts, as whoever it was did to me — or I would have seen it. It was in the food or the drinks."

"There's nothing here now, or I would have smelled it," Logan told him.

"Nor is there any sign of our friends, I fear," Noh said with a frown. "It was far earlier when I fell ill."

"Show me the table you were at and I'll find a trail," Logan swore.

Noh nodded and gestured at the table three places down from them. "I believe some of the staff removed myself and Remy from our chairs thinking we were hungover, but that is where we started."

Logan nodded, and he and K headed down to the table for a moment before heading out of the patio and into the street. They slipped down the road and backtracked a few times until the trail simply disappeared, though Logan pointed out that there were at least two traffic cameras at the corner nearby.

Logan radioed Scott to tell him what they found down the street, and before they could regroup, Noh had rushed back to the blackbird to tap into the cameras and find the information they needed. He quickly sent it to the two X-Men to show them that the girls and Kurt — and all of his bamfs — had been loaded up and taken away by Madame Masque.

The group of would-be rescuers watched the video over and over, though Scott wasted no time in turning to Logan with an expectant look. "Do you know who Masque is working with these days?"

"Yeah," Logan said slowly. "She's been spending a lot of time with Fisk and some mid-level creeps in the city." He still hadn't looked up at Scott, though, and Scott was just waiting for the rest. "And ... Viper has been working with them. A lot. I'm almost positive that the dart that hit Noh was something she worked up."

K and Noh were just sharing a look as they watched the two X-Men look increasingly more miserable. They were still new to the team and didn't know all the history there, but it was clear there _was_ history as Scott passed a hand over his face and then let out a sigh. "Right. Let's look through the traffic cams, see if we can pick up the truck again."

Noh was on it in a second, rushing back to run through the traffic cameras in the area, calling out coordinates from the blackbird as he was able to find glimpses of the truck — but at a busy intersection, there was no clear sign, and though Noh checked all of the roads in each direction, he couldn't spot them.

Remy, feeling a little better, took up the seat next to Noh to help look and was the one to find the abandoned truck on the cameras. But there was no sign of their friends nearby — and it looked like they had simply switched vehicles. With no clear picture on frame as to what the new car looked like, though, they were back to square one.

Logan and K were back to watching over Noh and Remy's shoulders as they sifted through the cameras, all of them silent. It was clear that the two little ferals were considering heading out to the last known spot and trying to hound-dog it, though Scott shot that idea down before they could suggest it when he pointed out that the captives never touched the ground and they seemed to be handled by different people every time.

Scott stepped back from the intensive search, and when he did, he just took a minute to look at the whole picture. After a little while, it was pretty clear that wherever their friends were, this search was all just part of a game to their captors, since the spottings were happening in a spiral around the city.

They were still pouring over the little bit of intel they had when Logan's phone went off, he barely glanced at it to see that it was Kurt before he picked up, clearly sounding half anxious to hear what had happened — but it wasn't Kurt on the other end.

As soon as Logan heard Viper's voice, he quickly switched it to speaker for the rest of the group to hear as she told him where he was to meet up with her — alone, naturally. She was short and to the point — just coordinates and a time — before she hung up, but as soon as the line went dead, Scott was already shaking his head.

"Yeah, that's just not gonna happen," K said, arms crossed and already looking ready for a fight as she agreed with Scott right away.

"Perhaps I could run over and scout out the location first?" Noh offered. "I would be fast enough."

"You kinda stick out, sparkly angel face," K told him. "But give me a pair of bluejeans and I can head that way."

"Neither one of you's headed that way," Logan said with a little growl that K just flat laughed at.

"Try to stop me," she said sweetly. "Like it or not, you have company. Lots of it." Scott was ready to throw in his two cents when Logan reluctantly let out a breath and nodded slowly.

"Okay then, what's the plan, Slim?"

For just a second, an odd expression tweaked Scott's mouth before he just nodded. "Right. I doubt Masque or Viper has seen K — unless there's something I should know about?"

The guys all looked to K, who just shrugged and shook her head. "I don't recall anyone by that name," she said. "Got pictures?"

Scott tipped his head at Noh, who pulled up their images for K to see. She took a moment to look them over and she shook her head slowly. "I think I would have remembered those two. My God. Awful hair. Both of them. You'd think people with money would avoid that."

"You'd think." Scott smirked slightly and then nodded again. "So they won't recognize you if you scout ahead." He gave her a little look before he added, "We'll send you ahead before Logan, but as _soon_ as they try to pull anything — and they will — signal us on the comms. Noh will get us there fast."

"Okay, and I will engage to what capacity?"

"Try to keep it to observation until we can find our friends," Scott said before he tipped his head toward the image of the two women on the screen. "Masque is low-level," he told her frankly. "But Viper will be tricky. You don't have to play as nice with her, but Masque…" He shrugged. "She's not one of ours, usually."

"Alright … don't think that should matter much… but … anything special I should know about them?" K asked, still out of the loop as to who these villains were.

Scott looked Logan's way for just a second before he said, simply, "Don't let Viper get you with her darts. Even with your healing abilities, if you haven't dealt with her homemade poisons, they can be rough."

"Got it, be quicker than the snake," she said with a nod before she started stripping off the uniform on the way to the back of the jet to change.

"Y'all don' tink you gon' take dis rescue mission on wit'out ol' Gambit." Remy still looked fairly out of it as he tried to stand, and Logan just shook his head at him.

Scott put a hand on Remy's shoulder to try and keep him from getting up. "You don't clear your system like Noh does. Whatever they gave you, you're still feeling it," he explained.

"Probably the only reason you're still here is they wanted you to be the one to call it in," Logan added with a frown as he tipped his head slightly at Noh. "What Viper put in that dart — that should have been fatal."

Remy frowned for a moment. "Let ol' Remy help," he insisted, and though Scott kept his hand on Remy's shoulder, Logan smirked for a moment.

"Alright. Come on over here," Logan told Remy, but as soon as the old Cajun stood up, he almost immediately had to sit back down in his seat. Logan smirked and just tipped his head at Remy. "Yeah, how about you just stay here and keep an eye out for us?"

Remy looked incredibly put-out, but he nodded all the same. "I _can_ do dat much," he muttered.

K popped back out not even five minutes later with her hair pulled up in a high ponytail and looking bright eyed, younger, and like she had no reason to be within fifty yards of any one of them as she put on a quick swipe of lipgloss. "Map." She just held her hand out and waited for the directions before she rushed out of the jet and down several alleys to the general area that they were headed.

She was pulling the old lost tourist routine and doing a hell of a job at it, even going so far as to ask a few of the guards how to get somewhere blocks away from where she was, even as Scott was telling her to stop.

"You're getting too close," Scott muttered almost through his teeth.

"She just got the description of the car Masque was in," Logan said to a pacing Scott. "She's a professional, Slim. Let her work."

Scott gave him a little look but just sat down and let out a sigh as K flirted her way into leading the guard off from his post.

As soon as they had an opening, Noh got himself and Scott closer to the meeting point, sliding out of sight into where the guard should have been looking if not for K being faster than the guard could have noticed. They had only just settled in to keep an eye out when Logan made his appearance, and almost immediately, a slender, green clad woman slunk out of the shadows toward him.

Viper looked him over for a moment with a slowly growing smirk before she said, simply, "Follow me," and sauntered off.

He glanced around the room, but before he could take a step, one of her guards jammed a gun in the center of his back to urge him forward. Scott couldn't help asking what was going on — or at least reminding K to keep them in the loop — when she just very quietly and quickly shushed him before following the little parade through the shadowy halls.

When she got to a large room where the missing teammates were being held — tied, battered and looking worn out and still a little out of it from whatever had been in the coffee, K finally raised her comm. "All three are injured, none look to be severe," she reported. "Dozen gunmen, three snipers and one soon-to-be-bleeding snake. Go north-west once you're inside."

Beside Scott, Noh let out the tiniest of relieved breaths, just slight enough that it went unnoticed by Scott, though K or Logan would have heard it. He relaxed the slightest bit and nodded to Scott. "They're alive — and the same could _not_ be said of their captors if not for the rules I agreed to abide by in your team," he said with a flash in his gaze, and Scott gave him a look for a moment as they looked for their entrance, a little surprised at the casual hardness in Noh's tone as he was reminded that the guy used to declare war on entire planets for insulting him.

Before any more discussions were made, it was a matter of Viper showing her malevolence when she made sure that her men had properly restrained Logan — being careful that the restraints over his hands were tight and would keep him from using his claws. After that, she tossed two darts his way that she knew would be more than enough to force him to be civil.

"Okay, this chick is pissing me off," K said over the radio. She managed to keep her voice light, but Scott was sure the growl was right on the verge of spilling out.

"Don't make a move until we're sure she can't retaliate against the others," Scott said, and while he was talking to K, he had half directed it to Noh, who was literally climbing the walls with narrowed eyes, ready to spring on the bad guys as they made their way toward the large room.

"Yeah, I know," K said, though she'd already started to make a move so that she could launch herself at the woman if she tried anything else that was stupid or triggered the growl that wanted to cut loose at the back of her throat. "It looks like the kids are just caged. Tied. Kurt has a collar, Kate is crying and Jubes … is about to flip out, honestly. The little demons are in some kind of clear box. Viper's got Logan." K paused as she looked to the gunmen again. "They're not even looking at the kids." She started stalking closer — sticking in the deep shadows.

"We're almost to you," Scott replied. "Give me the position of the snipers, and they'll be my first shots once we're there."

"Center of the catwalk," K answered in a quiet, deep whisper. "Southern and northern corners, top level. They're all carrying standard issue, twenty-round Hydra guns." She paused before she continued. "I'm leaving my comm on for you."

Scott nodded and looked at Noh. "Get them out and do it fast. We'll handle the gunmen and Viper," he said simply, and the Kree fighter gave him the slightest of nods.

"Thank you, for making this so easy for me," Viper said to a very doped-up Logan as Kurt frowned at the whole set up from near by, blinking against the drugs in his system. "There is still a very sizeable bounty that I'd like to cash in on. It's too bad that no one _wants_ your little friends."

"Catch that?" K whispered almost too low for Scott to hear, though Logan looked up her way just a tiny bit.

Scott was frowning hard. "If she makes a move on them, don't wait for us."

Viper stalked forward just a bit with a smirk on her face. "It's just a shame that the bounty specified that they want you _alive._ "

K froze for just an instant before she bolted out of her dark little hiding spot. The gunmen nearest her were taken entirely off-guard, and it took a moment before the first shots rang out, but by that time, K had already gotten a hold of Viper and had used a few choice pressure points whose only application was crippling pain by the time Scott made it into the room.

Scott went right into blasting the snipers who were taking aim at K — while Noh wasted absolutely no time in simply tearing apart the bars between him and their captive friends. He went to Jubilee first, cutting through the ropes that were holding her in an instant and pressing a quick kiss to her forehead before he went to do the same for the others — though as soon as they were untied, he went right back to Jubilee and just swept her up in his arms to look her over for injuries, trusting Kurt to do the same for Kate, even as out of it as he was.

One of the gunmen managed to shoot K off of Viper before she could get a solid hold on her head, and the Lady Hydra was openly glaring at the little woman in total disbelief as both women got to their feet again. The two of them circled each other slowly — though when Viper opened her mouth to say something snide, K shot forward and kicked her feet out from under her, then rushed to introduce herself more properly with every pressure point that she knew of for pain.

When Viper managed to pull away from K even a little, the first thing she did was reach for the darts at her side. She was disappointed, then, when K managed to dodge her aim and dance right through it to send a fist full of claws through her throwing arm's shoulder.

Meanwhile, as Noh was getting their friends and K had Viper's full attention, Scott made short work of the gunmen and rushed over to where Logan was. He adjusted the settings of his visor to a more precise beam and cut through the restraints holding Logan's hands until they were loose enough for Logan to pop the claws and free himself the rest of the way.

Scott kept one hand on Logan's arm, since Viper's darts had gone deep, and it didn't look like Logan had shaken their effects off, either. With the other hand, Scott pulled both darts out of the Logan's arm and tossed them aside, frowning at Logan in concern. "K, help Noh get the others so we can get out of here," he called her way.

"Be right there," K agreed before Viper caught her attention again.

"Tell me," Viper said. "What methods did the X-Men use to get you to _heel_ so well? I'd like to know for after I allow some interested parties to borrow my wayward groom."

K tipped her head to the side the slightest and in very rapid succession, with no further warning, sent a single claw through all four ball and socket joints in Viper's body with a little twist and pop — effectively dislocating all of them. "I don't know what you're talking about," K replied as her ponytail swayed behind her. She casually turned her back on the screaming Viper and headed over to where Noh had moved on from kissing Jubilee and reassuring himself that she was alright and was now trying to get the collar off Kurt.

"Do you need a skeleton key?" K asked, completely ignoring the curses that Viper was screeching in the background.

"That would certainly expedite things," Noh said as he took a slight step back to give K room to work.

She popped one claw and very carefully slid it between the collar and Kurt's neck before she flicked her wrist and cut it off. "Can you get your little friends back to the jet? I'll take care of this one," she said to Kurt, tipping her head Kate's way.

Kurt looked toward Kate, who was still looking shell-shocked, though she'd stopped crying, and frowned for a long moment before he looked past her to where the little bamfs were in their own, smaller, separate cage, far more doped up than the others to keep them from teleporting. He nodded once K's way and then got to his feet, shook his head hard, and picked up the small container of bamfs to carry them.

K slipped under Kate's arm and pulled her closer to support her as she looked up at Noh and Jubilee. "Come on, Katie," K said, trying to lift her spirits as well. "You're fine. We got this, right?"

When Kate's response was just to lean on K a little more, the older woman frowned and picked up the pace. Clearly, it was time to get these kids _home_.


	11. St. James Hotel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mystique and Madame Masque's plan gets Kate killed. Yes, really.  
> (Don't worry. Kate says X-Men don't *stay* dead. ever.)

 

* * *

The little group of both rescuers and rescued headed back to the jet at a quick pace, though K and Kate had to slow and pause a few times as the younger girl seemed a bit ... dizzy. K frowned to herself, wondering what they'd done to Kate that was so different than what the others had been dosed with — or if it just affected mutants differently since their one non-powered member was so far out of it. Whatever the case, it was clear that Kate just was _not_ feeling like herself.

When they loaded up in the jet, Kate began to act … well, stupid. She was overly emotional and pushing people away physically. When K frowned her way and left her side for only a moment to check on Kurt, who was staring at Kate like she was possessed, Kate rushed forward and stabbed K just above the waist of her jeans next to her spine. K fell forward, bleeding heavily, though Kurt caught her before she hit the ground, completely taken off-guard.

Kate rushed toward the back of the plane and cracked Scott square in the face with a high kick, knocking him backward and catching everyone's attention. She pushed Scott toward them once he was halfway on his feet and the group of them tried to catch him before he was injured worse, but by the time anyone looked back Kate's way, the lights in the plane flickered off as Kate hit the switches in the electrical panel. They were in total darkness.

"You're not getting out of here," Scott said as he stood up more squarely, rubbing his jaw and _mad_ as he recognized the move Kate had used. "Stop playing games, Raven. Where is Kate? You're trapped, and you have nothing to use for leverage."

'Kate' just laughed openly at him. "Wrong on all counts," she replied in a sneering tone that none of them had ever heard Kate use. "Your little friend? If Masque has any brains in that vapid little head of hers — she's already dead. As for being trapped? Well, my darling little boy is going to give me one of those little blue rats so I can go wherever I please."

"You're the one mistaken here, again on all counts," Kurt said in what was almost a low growl. "I'll do no such thing — and _you_ will tell us where you've taken Kate."

"Kurt, darling," Raven said in her most condescending tone, back to herself and her own voice as well as the sound of her kicking Logan echoed the fuselage — she'd managed to get closer to him while he was still out of it and shrouded in darkness. "How much more do you think your little friend here can take? He's already gotten two of Viper's darts. If I cut his throat, will he heal from it? Give me one of your demons." To emphasise her point, she flipped the lights back on for a moment to show that she had her knife already drawn, though Logan was starting to come around a bit more than before.

Kurt's tail was switching behind him as he bared his teeth. "If you want to teleport so badly, I can help you to the ground. Eventually."

"You look so much like your father when you're angry. It's almost cute," Raven purred out. "But you've never had that kind of threat in you. What's changed, darling?"

"That's your _mother_?" K asked quietly, and when Kurt just nodded with his jaw locked tightly, K glanced between them for just a second. "Condolences." With that, the lights switched off, there was a scuffle of sorts, and when they came back up — there were two Logans leaning against the wall.

"Why?" K asked as she took a cautious step forward.

Scott was frowning hard. "It's one of her favorite tricks in the playbook," he said almost through his teeth. "Mimic one of us so we don't attack her."

K looked to Scott and Kurt both for a moment with her brow furrowed. "That's an exceptionally stupid idea." She turned back to the two of them and studied them both — Raven had been meticulous. Every tear in the uniform, every scratch, bump and bruise. All the way down to bits of gravel in the treads of his boots. She took a few steps closer until she was in arm's reach of both, frustrated that the scents were the same as neither Wolverine changed expression in the least.

Noh was frowning as well with his head tipped to one side. "She does not give any of the indications that Skrulls do," he said in a frustrated tone.

"No," K agreed. "It's pretty much perfect." She glanced over her shoulder at Noh. "Except of course for one thing." As she turned back to the both of them, she popped her claws and jammed them both in the liver. The same cry of pain echoed the fuselage of the plane, but the one on K's left twisted into Raven after a moment — and she responded by twisting her wrist as far as she could. "Figured it out, Scott. Let me know if you need anything cut off of her."

When K retracted her claws, Kurt was on Raven in an instant, and K turned her attention to Logan, giving him a half sheepish look as she applied pressure and leaned forward to kiss his temple with a whispered apology.

Kurt had his teeth bared inches from his mother. "You may not believe my threats, but believe hers — now _tell us_ where you took Kate," he all but growled.

"St. James Hotel down in the quarter," Mystique finally said quick and low and through her teeth. "But you're likely too late. I'm just waiting for the notification from my banker."

K frowned at the response — and at the look on Kurt's face — before she took a slight step his way. "If you want, I'll take care of this one," she offered. "So you can go get your girl."

"I'll take care of her myself," Kurt growled low before he teleported away, taking Mystique with him with an angry near-snarl that still echoed above the 'bamf' sound..

"Magazine Street," K said to Scott as she tried to blatantly ignore the little smirk Logan was giving her when she knelt down next to him and tried to stop him from bleeding any more. "That's where the hotel is."

Noh checked the layout with a quick look and a nod before he turned to Scott. "Would you prefer to stay here on the jet, or should we leave these four to their own devices?" he asked with a little smirk K's way.

"You're not going alone," Scott told him. "They'll be fine. In fact I think I feel sorry for anyone trying to board this plane without permission right now."

"Then perhaps we will beat our friend Nightcrawler to the hotel," Noh said with another smirk. "Depending on what exactly he has in mind for that shapeshifter." He held out a hand to Scott. "Come on — I'd like to have a word with Madame Masque, I think." With that, he looked to a still slightly groggy Remy, who opened the door for them, and he simply grabbed Scott and took off with him for the hotel Mystique had pointed out to them.

That just left Jubilee and Remy in the jet with Logan and K as well as several of the bamfs — at least, the ones who were still too drugged to try and help their big brother find his purple friend. A couple of them were curling into Jubilee's lap contentedly trying to steal pieces of her candy and only half-heartedly sighing when she held it out of their reach.

But that also meant that Jubilee had front-row seats to what was going on with the two little ferals while everyone else was out looking for Kate, and she frowned to herself a little bit when she saw K tending to Logan's injuries more carefully than she'd seen _anyone_ handle him.

What was more surprising, though, was how cooperative Logan was for K. As Jubilee looked on, out of the side of her gaze, pretending she wasn't watching the whole thing carefully and protectively — as always — Logan was fully cooperating. He even took the large bottle of water K handed him without comment. He drank the whole thing and _still_ didn't make any snide remarks while K's cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink.

Jubilee tried to ignore it, she really did, but the expression on his face when he rested his hand on K's leg meant she just _couldn't_.

Logan looked like he was still half out of it, and he pulled K closer as she muttered a little 'shut up' even though he hadn't said anything. Which he didn't even point out — just holding onto her as he gave her little kisses.

Jubilee frowned at the entire display, the wheels turning in her head, and when she glanced back down at the little bamfs in her lap, they were looking up at her with grins of their own.

She rolled her eyes at the tiny demons before she turned her attention back to keeping them out of her candy stash. She could deal with Logan and his totally-in-denial girlfriend later.

* * *

Noh had come to a stop in the lobby of the hotel only seconds after Kurt teleported there, looking positively livid. A few of the bamfs had followed — those that were starting to come out of the drugs enough to see that something was wrong — and the three men simply shared a look before they set out to find out which room Masque had taken, with the bamfs peering into rooms without being asked and Noh climbing around from the outside to check windows. At this time of day, near dinner, there were very few people in the hotel — most of them had gone out to enjoy the cuisine in the French quarter — so their work was going quickly, at least.

The first one to spot Masque was one of the bamfs, who teleported onto Kurt's shoulder in an instant to jabber quickly and tell Kurt where to go, and Kurt was already teleporting straight there before the little guy had even finished his story, leaving the tiny blue imp to teleport over to grab Scott and Noh to bring them for backup, since Kurt hadn't said a word to either of them.

The first thing Kurt noticed when he teleported into the room was the overwhelming smell of cigarette smoke, even though a window had been cracked, though it looked like that was recent, as one of Masque's bell boys was still at the window. Kurt looked around the room quickly but didn't see Kate even as Masque was recovering from the surprise of his sudden appearance and ordered her men to "get him."

Masque had even drawn her own weapon, silenced, to try and shoot at Kurt, but he teleported away before she could, and he reappeared in an instant to wrench the gun out of her grip and all but snarl at her before simply 'porting away again, not as interested in fighting — for now — as he was in finding Kate.

It didn't take him too long to find her, but the moment he did, he went crashing to his knees beside the bathtub as he tried to gently pull her out. She was limp, her eyes closed and her head tipped back as he lifted her up, her hair falling back from her face to show several circular burn marks along the edge of her cheek and jaw. Panic began to overtake him as he tried to rouse her but couldn't get a response of any kind. "Kate… _liebchen_ ," he gasped out quietly, his eyes wide and his tail totally still.

Kurt didn't see it when the bamfs teleported Scott into the room just behind him, but as soon as Scott took in the scene — the unmoving Kate, the terrified Kurt — he pulled Kurt back and got Kate flat onto the floor to try and assess her better. His assessment only took a moment, and he went a bit paler when he couldn't find a pulse and it was clear she wasn't breathing.

Scott immediately went into action and started CPR as Kurt watched with wide eyes. They could hear the sound of Noh's guns as well as the shout of Masque's men just outside the bathroom door, and between breaths, Scott glanced up at Kurt. "We need to get back to the jet _now._ "

Kurt swallowed hard and didn't take his eyes off of Kate before he put a hand on Scott's shoulder and grasped Kate's hand with the other and teleported them both straight to the jet — with Noh and the bamfs appearing moments later.

At the sound of the 'bamf', Logan and K both glanced over to where Scott was working feverishly and Logan, now feeling at least a little more like his usual self after K's attention, immediately dove in to help. "What happened?" He was pulling out supplies as quickly as he could find them, letting anything in his way fall to the floor in the process.

"We found the hotel room," Noh supplied with a frown when it was clear that Scott was too busy to talk and Kurt was just… too upset. "The woman was smoking cigarettes…" He glared at the burn marks on his friend before he took a small breath and continued. "These two found Kate in the bathroom, but I was occupied with ridding that creature of her minions."

Logan watched him as he brought the supplies and ducked in to take a good whiff of whatever it was they'd given her, then came back with a few ominous-looking medical supplies. "If you can get a pulse, I can put in an IV," Logan told Scott very quietly.

Scott nodded seriously as he kept working and Logan started to lay out their supplies in an order that he knew where it all was.

Kurt had been hovering closer and closer when Scott sat back to catch his breath and Logan took over. "Noh, get us home, fast," Scott panted between breaths.

As Noh zipped up to the cockpit, Jubilee bit her lip and assessed the adults on the jet.

The two senior X-Men were soft-spoken and professional as they worked on their young teammate. Years of working under fire, under pressure, were showing as the two of them barely needed to speak to get their point across — which was good, since both of them were giving their breath to Kate anyway.

K was in what looked to be a holding pattern — just waiting for someone to give her something to do. Which was pretty fortuitous, since Kurt was clearly holding on by a thread, half holding his breath and obviously holding in what promised to be a full breakdown if this didn't work. As much as Jubilee was unsure of this new woman dating her surrogate father … all that she'd seen transpire between them made it clear that Logan anyhow was _not_ unsure. If she was going to keep him _and_ her around, then Jubilee was going to make sure that K integrated properly. And what better way to cement her in the group than to make doubly sure that Kurt was on board to keep her too?

"Kurt needs you right now," Jubilee said suddenly, redirecting K away from the scene. "I'm not strong enough to hold him back if something goes wrong."

K frowned deeper — the worry etched clearly on her face as she just nodded and stepped up next to Kurt to take his arm. He quickly covered her hand with his, barely glancing at her as the two of them watched the recovery effort that the two X-Men were making with Kate.

There were very big needles used as Logan drove some kind of medicine directly into Kate's heart, and he and Scott took turns trying to bring her back using several different drugs and the portable defibrillator — all while the news was streaming in the background with Jameson talking about what a tragic and avoidable loss it was to the publishing community that the young and talented Katherine Bishop had been found dead from a drug overdose just a short time ago in a New Orleans hotel.

Kurt began to melt down, crumpling to the floor of the plane as he latched on to K, and she all but wrapped him up, trying to keep him together — even as Scott and Logan looked more and more alike in expression and focus.

The moment that Kate took a breath, _finally_ , they all froze and just stared. Logan's hands hovered over her chest while Scott checked for a pulse, and the two of them simply held their breath until she started to breathe again on her own — her pulse finally visible at her neck.

Kurt buried his face in K's shoulder, letting go in pure relief, while Logan and Scott shared a worn, weary look, and both of them shook their heads. Logan turned Kate's arm over and cleaned her up to put in an IV line as Scott picked up the used supplies and put away the equipment and everything else that Logan had knocked loose trying to get her going.

Even with all that, it was still another ten minutes before Logan waved K and Kurt over so that Kurt could hold Kate's hand and wait at her side, his tail wrapped around her ankle as he tried to gather himself with shuddering breaths.

When K stepped back from Kurt, Logan tried to pull her closer, but she shrugged off of him and headed up to sit in the co-pilot chair by Noh, leaving Logan and Jubilee mystified behind her.

….

Kate wasn't sure about this feeling… it was so very different than the heaviness of the sedation in the coffee. Or the tightness in her chest from whatever Masque had forced into her arm as her men held her down in the hotel room filled with smoke..

Kate felt sort of light, and as she brought her hands up to her face, she didn't feel any evidence of, well, anything that had just happened. No sweat or burns or anything, just... this same light feeling.

"Katie, darling," said a soft voice, and Kate looked up in surprise. She recognized that voice.

Her mouth opened wide in surprise, and she couldn't help but choke on a sob as she looked up at the blonde woman kneeling down in front of her, her warm, dark eyes swimming with happiness. "My little girl," she said as she held her arms out to Kate, and Kate simply fell into them, sinking down with her head in her mother's lap as she grasped at her mother's arms, desperately missing their warmth and safety.

"Mom," she gasped out as Eleanor Bishop shushed her quietly.

"I'm so proud of you," Eleanor said, still holding her daughter's head in her lap. "Look at what you've done with yourself."

Kate just let herself fall apart, holding onto her mother as she pushed aside anything else. "I missed you, Mom," she said. "I missed you _so much_."

Eleanor picked up her chin and smiled at her softly. "You've done so well, Katie. I couldn't be prouder of what you've done without me. You've made yourself a hero!" She paused, a twinkle in her eyes. "And clearly, your taste in men is better than mine," she teased lightly. "If I'd known, I would have wanted to meet him myself when he was here. He's good for you."

Kate just let out a soft sort of sob and held her mother closer as the two women fell into familiar silence in an embrace that seemed to last an eternity, until, to Kate's surprise, she felt something like a punch to her chest. "Mom?" she asked, uncertainly, and when Eleanor released her, Kate realized they weren't alone anymore.

A man that Kate had never met, but who she recognized almost immediately from the pictures in the mansion — sans the wheelchair, of course — had joined the scene, watching with a smile. When Kate felt that same sensation, like a punch right in the center of her chest, she looked to her mother. Eleanor just reached out a hand to cup Kate's cheek. "Your friends would like you to come back to them, Katie," Eleanor explained. "It's not time for you to leave just yet."

Kate choked on another sob as she reached up to cover her mother's hand with hers, her other hand covering her mouth as she tried not to fall apart when they had an audience, and it was difficult to wrench her gaze from Eleanor's when the third member of their small group spoke up in a gentle, soft tone.

"I'm delighted to meet you in person, Katherine," said Charles Xavier, his smile widening as he spoke with her. "I wish the circumstances were different."

Kate stared at him openly, still holding Eleanor's hand in hers, though it was getting harder to keep her grip.

"I simply wanted to meet you myself, and to thank you for taking such care of Kurt," Charles told her warmly. "And to wish you luck." He put a hand on her shoulder and nodded at her. "Welcome to the X-Men, my dear."

Kate didn't know what to do except to stutter out a thank you, even as the light, airy feeling was starting to fade, and the image of the two people before her seemed to be slipping away.

"And if you don't mind my taking a selfish moment here," Charles was saying, almost through a tunnel, it sounded like. "Please, tell the team how proud I am. And tell Scott… tell him to stop blaming himself. I certainly don't blame him in the least."

She felt like she was falling, unable to hold onto Eleanor, or even, after a moment, the words she was saying — something about making her proud… The light feeling was gone, and her chest felt heavy until—

Kate took a gasping breath, tears in the corners of her eyes just before they fluttered open to see the small assembled group in the jet — and Kurt, just beside her, his hand in hers ... not Eleanor's hand, but Kurt's. This… was a much, much worse feeling that what she'd just left. Everything _hurt_ , and as she took another deep breath, she tried to shift ... to get more comfortable or hide from the bright light that was already giving her a headache or ... something, but as soon as she did, Scott was right there with a firm hand on her shoulder to keep her there, which just got her glaring at him as best she could.

"You've been through a lot, we know," Scott said gently. "Just stay down. We're headed back to Westchester." He left her field of vision only to return a few minutes later with a blanket for her, gently adjusting it around her shoulders and looking very tired. Once she was covered up, he reached up and flipped the overhead lights off too.

She closed her eyes and relaxed slightly at the darkness. "Thanks," she whispered out against the throbbing headache. She squeezed Kurt's hand — or tried to at least — and picked her head up as much as she could. "Everybody make it?" she asked, trying to see if the others that had been at the cafe were there, but Kurt had a gentle hand on her arm.

"Yes," Kurt said quietly. "We're all here, but please, rest. You can tell us what happened later."

"So bossy, Elf," she said with a little smile.

"Just this once, I'll go ahead and agree with that," Kurt said, and Kate tried very hard to ignore the fact that the fur underneath his eyes was matted and wet or that the bamfs nearby were uncharacteristically quiet and nearly somber as they watched their big brother with her.

"Bossy and cute," Kate added, still smiling sedately at him and trying very hard not to think about anything… trying not to just ... slip back into unconsciousness... not when she was half-sure she'd just want to stay wherever it was she'd just been, with her mother...

"I'll agree to that, too," Kurt said, matching her smile as he held her hand in one of his and pushed her hair back from her face with the other.

The plane had fallen into silence for a moment as Kate kept trying to stay awake while Kurt ran his thumb over the back of her hand until Kate noticed the quiet news broadcast in the background. Remy had turned it down, but there was no volume at which Jameson's low roar wasn't discernible.

"...just shows the tragic consequences of someone so young and impressionable in such a competitive field. Now, I don't know if it was the pressure of losing her father and then taking on a whole new business world or if it was just that it was too much for her young mind when she was being pushed by her new so-called friends into a failing project that would almost cripple her whole world and nearly tank her company. We can only speculate…"

Kate settled into a hard glare as she listened to what JJ was saying over the news broadcast. "Phone," she all but spit out Kurt's way. "Gimmie my phone."

"Kate, I don't know that you're up to this just yet," Kurt replied cautiously, glancing between her and the broadcast.

But Kate had a mission, something to _do_ that wasn't just struggling to hang onto consciousness, something concrete and in _this_ world, and she was going to latch onto it with both hands. "Gonna show him just how dead I am," she replied with that same hard glare. "Not hard. Just a simple 'shut up' should work."

Kurt was frowning at her as Jubilee cautiously approached. "Show me you can hold your hand to your ear. The one Kurt isn't holding — because that one has an IV."

Kate blinked at her for a second in surprise and looked over to see that, yes, there was an IV there. She glared at the IV line for a long moment. "I don't… when did you do that?"

"We'll explain later, but not until _after_ Blue looks you over," Jubes told her. "Show me you can move your arm to your ear and I'll dial the digits for you."

"Call the network direct," Kate said. "Not him. I want him to hear me live."

"If you have the number in here, I'll have it loaded to go," Jubilee promised, still standing firm. "Arm first."

Kate glared Jubilee's way and then carefully, watching her own arm, lifted it to her ear and rested it against the side of her face. "Gimmie the phone."

Jubilee flipped through Kate's contacts until she found the right number, and just before she hit the button, she smiled Kate's way. "No deep breaths. You'll thank me later." With that, she hit the dial button and put the phone in Kate's hand.

Kate had her face screwed up as the phone rang, and when the screener picked it up, she poured her every ounce of concentration into her words. "Yes, this is Bishop Publishing calling to make a statement about your story," she said, and when the screener put her though, the others could hear the anchor opposite JJ saying that they had a 'new development' and a statement from the late Kate Bishop's company.

Which was the perfect setup for Kate. As soon as she was patched through and the anchor asked about the company's loss, she took a shallow breath, looked Jubilee's way, and all but shouted into the phone. "J. Jonah Jameson, you better find yourself some new material and smarter people. _Shoddy journalism! Defamation!_ I'm alive, you nincompoop! If I see my stock drop a single point because you've been telling lies, you'll hear from my lawyers!" She was shaking slightly and gripping the phone with everything she had. It probably (definitely) hadn't been a good idea to do this so soon after _whatever_ had just happened, but it was keeping her awake… _and alive_ , she thought to herself. "If I hear a single word about my nonexistent drug problem and suicide — or whatever the _heck_ you're spinning from your network — I'll have you for slander!"

Those who could see the live feed of the broadcast weren't sure what was more hilarious — the fact that JJ had gone sort of silent, his mouth moving to form words as he was clearly _shocked_ to hear Kate's voice, or the anchor beside him as she tried not to look _delighted_ at the show.

"Thank you, Miss Bishop, for calling in," the anchor said with a smile that she couldn't hide any longer as JJ turned to face her with a look of thunderous outrage. "We'll start putting out the corrected story, and I'm sure the _Bugle_ will issue an apology for the distress they've caused."

"I'll expect it in the morning news at _least_ ," Kate snapped. "And I'll be watching the stocks, JJ. I was serious." With that, she hung up the phone as the obviously delighted anchor started to question JJ about his verification methods and sources for the story — and JJ insisted that he had received police reports _and_ photographs from New Orleans, so there must have been a mixup at the official level, not his.

Around the jet, most of the occupants had amused smiles at least, and Kurt was shaking his head at her. "Now that you've announced your triumphant return, will you rest, _Vogelchen_?"

But he didn't have to ask. As soon as Kate handed Jubilee the phone back, she just felt _exhausted_ , and she leaned back to close her eyes. "Mmhmm," she told him faintly, totally and completely wiped out and at a loss for anything else to grasp to keep her from slipping back into unconsciousness, hoping it was just dreamland she was going back to and not someplace else.


	12. Definitely Territorial Behaviors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kate wakes up safe and sound in the X-Mansion and gets to deal with the fallout of her first ever (and hopefully only until she's, like, one hundred) experience with death.
> 
> ....or.... she could just.... *not* deal with it. 
> 
> .... She likes this option better.

**Notes: Seriously, that particular chapter is one of the more intense ones we've written so far! We're very glad Katie-Kate's okay, too ;) And you're totally right; you'd think Mystique would have learned by now. And yet… :P**

* * *

 

**Chapter 12: "Definitely Territorial Behaviors"**

* * *

 

When Kate woke up again, she wasn't surprised at all that there was a little bamf about an inch from her face, watching her very closely, and the minute she opened her eyes fully, he got nose to nose with her. 'Bamf?' he asked, and when she rubbed his nose very lightly with hers, he broke into a giggle and backed up a bit to point at her as two others clasped their hands together and shook them in silent cheers for her being awake.

Kate had to laugh at them, even though it felt weird laughing, and she looked down to see that, yep, she had an IV again — though this time she was in a more comfortable bed in Hank's medical wing. She leaned back into the pillows and heard the familiar beep, click, and whir of the IV.

"Well, look who decided to wake up finally," Jubilee said, sliding into view in a chair near Kate's bed. "You have missed _all_ of the entertainment around here."

Kate smirked at her. "What, did you and Noh run off without telling anyone?" she teased tiredly.

"We haven't been able to leave all the 'adults' around here for fear of all of you falling apart, apparently," she said with a smirk. "Besides, we are _not_ running off. Not when I plan on putting you in a dress of my choosing." She leaned forward. "Think yellow thoughts."

"I look horrible in yellow," Kate countered.

"Then maybe I'll let you be in hot pink," she offered.

Kate paused to consider it and then tipped her head the slightest. "That'll work." She smirked up at Jubilee for a moment before she had to ask, "So — what'd I miss?"

"Oh, you know. Just what you'd expect from a near-death experience," Jubilee said with a shrug. "You can check that off your list by the way — in case you didn't realize it. I know it's a little disorienting when you wake up from that," she added, patting Kate's arm sympathetically.

Kate frowned hard and dropped her gaze to the bamfs, who were staring at her intently.

"Kurt has been non-stop at your side; everyone has been radically hydrated — thank you Dr. Blue—" Jubilee continued as she tipped her head Hank's way even though he was totally preoccupied and didn't hear her at all. "—and _I_ have been occasionally running interference to keep K here."

Kate raised an eyebrow, grasping at the news that _wasn't_ related to, well, whatever it was that she'd just experienced. She did _not_ want to talk about it, but K…? "She wants to leave?"

Jubilee smirked a bit and tipped her head thoughtfully. "Yes and no? She _thinks_ she wants to leave. Let's put it like that."

"Ah," Kate said, nodding her understanding carefully. "Yeah. She does that."

"You should have seen it, Kate. You would have been impressed. Logan got hurt—" Jubilee leaned forward, wearing a totally and dramatically shocked expression. "—and she got him to drink water. With no threats."

" _No_." Kate was grinning wide now.

"Yep, she took care of him ... that … I think we have that on surveillance actually … but he didn't say a word, and she just kept telling him to shut up." Jubilee giggled delightedly at the thought. "But now she's just … freaked out. So. Hurry up. Get better so you can help!"

"Well, what freaked her?" Kate asked. "'Cause if it was me, I can always just 'port up to her room and annoy her," she added, glancing at a bamf, who giggled and looked completely ready to do just that at a word from Kate.

"Actually … I think it might have been _him_ ," she said tipping her head to Kurt, who had apparently fallen asleep waiting for Kate, his head tipped back and slightly snoring. "She was taking care of him while you were having issues."

"Kurt's not scary," Kate pointed out with a smirk. "Now she's — she's just looking for excuses."

"You don't seem to understand," Jubilee said, speaking slower as if it would help Kate understand just how grave the situation had been, in her eyes. "She got freaked out. From _him._ And when we got back, Logan had to like ... talk her into going with him. It's weird. I'm telling you."

"Is Kurt okay?" Kate asked, looking past her shoulder.

Jubilee popped a bright pink bubble and looked totally unconcerned. "Aside from nearly having a melt down over you? He's fine."

At that, the deep frown had returned to Kate's face. "Well… that's good, anyway," she said, looking down at her knees.

"Yes, it really kind of is," Jubilee said with a nod.

"I should… take him out somewhere? Apologize for scaring him?"

"You should heal," Jubilee said. "And you didn't scare him on purpose, so that isn't necessary I don't think. But ... I'm sure he'd appreciate seeing you smile instead of snore."

"But _he_ has a very cute snore," Kate said, smirking and blatantly trying to redirect the conversation away from what had happened to her. "Almost like a purr."

"I can show you how to stop it," Jubilee teased. "Just have to close his mouth and pinch his nose shut."

"You're ridiculous," Kate said, shaking her head at her friend.

"Side effect is that he wakes up too," she said with a grin.

"Oh, but I already know how to do that," Kate told her, chuckling.

"Well do that," she urged. "I'm telling you — it'll make his day if you just ... smile at him. With your eyes open."

"Such a low bar," Kate teased before she leaned her head down, kissed the top of one of the bamf's heads, and tipped her head at Kurt. The little guy giggled and teleported over to Kurt to start poking him until he started to rouse, swatting absently at the bamf — which only prompted the rest of them to join in the fun.

" _Lass mich schlafen_ ," he muttered at the bamfs, though this was clearly a losing battle as they were pulling on his clothes and jabbering at him to wake up.

Kate shot Jubilee a little smirk before she giggled slightly — and then winced at the pull in her chest — and then turned toward Kurt. " _Guten morgen, Engelchen_ ," she called out to him, which finally had him sitting up to open his eyes.

A huge smile broke out on his face, and he didn't even get up, just teleported right over to be closer to her and take her hand again. "Kate!" he said, delightedly. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, you know." She waved her hand airily and grinned at him. "Ready to go. When's our next bad guy? I wanna fight Galactus."

He let out a little laugh and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, and Kate could tell he was beyond pleased to see her awake because of the little furtive motions of his tail — and the face that the bamfs were watching both of them with their chins resting in their little hands. "Perhaps you should finish healing and have a few cups of coffee first," he suggested.

"Coffee would be nice," she agreed as she gave his hand a small squeeze.

"Then heal enough for Hank to allow you to leave, and I shall do what I can to deliver Galactus after coffee," he teased.

She just grinned at him wider and let out a little laugh. "You spoil me rotten."

"I can't resist," he replied.

She laughed again and waved him closer. "C'mere so I can kiss you." When he grinned and did just that, she kept pulling on his hand to keep him closer and looked him over carefully. "You alright? I mean — you got nabbed too, sweetheart. This isn't just my party."

"It's _mostly_ your party," he said with a sigh. "They very nearly killed you if not for all the work that Scott and Logan did."

She gently kissed his cheek. "That's not what I asked," she told him. "I asked if you were okay."

"The drugs burned out of my system quickly enough," he said with a weary smile.

She gave him a bit of a pointed look as her gaze flicked up to his swollen cheek. "Right. You look exactly like when I saw you before Masque," she said evenly before she kissed the unblemished cheek again. "If she's the one that touched you? At all? I'll put cigarettes out on _her_ face," she added in a rough undertone.

"No, Masque didn't lay a hand on me," Kurt swore. "It was someone else entirely, and the last I saw her, she was screaming in agony."

Kate considered that for a moment and then nodded. "Glad someone gave it back to her," she muttered. "I'm not a fan of any other women near my Elf," she added, her tone softening a bit into a tease.

"I'm near him," Jubilee said. "And K was near him the other day. She was all … wrapped around his fuzzy blue self. Are you going to come after us?"

"I just might," Kate teased. "I'm all territorial, apparently."

"Oh, that's right — I have to show you ' _the tape'_ ," Jubilee said, making quotes in the air. "And you have to watch _all_ of it. There are definitely territorial behaviors for you to observe. Snarling even."

Kate smirked at her. "Yeah, I saw our rescue party."

"Yeah they were snarling too," Jubilee said with a nod and a sweet smile.

Kate raised both eyebrows at Jubilee and then just had to shake her head. "You're ridiculous," she told her as she leaned back, not into the pillows, but into Kurt's arm, and he tightened his hold into a warm hug, resting his chin on her top of her head as he gently kissed her hair. .

"I'm nowhere near the only one," Jubilee said. "I'll be back with viewing material later."

"Only if you bring me popcorn."

"You got it," Jubes shot back before she bopped out of the infirmary with a spring to her step.

"You don't need to watch that tape," Kurt said softly into her hair before he planted a little kiss behind her ear.

"I'll see if I can get Jubes to fast forward the part where you had to let two other guys kiss me," Kate said, trying to shrug it off.

"Now that you mention it — I may need to go have a word with Logan. He's fairly good at clever kisses," he teased. "You should ask Storm about that some time."

"Ooh, material for our next girls' night," Kate said, grinning. She leaned deeper into his arm. "You should really get on that, Kurt. Can't let him try to steal your lady."

"I'll run him though when you go to sleep," he promised with a little shrug. "He'll live through it fine. We'll argue. Then there will be no apologies anyhow."

"There ya go. Defend my honor, Sir Nightcrawler," she laughed quietly as he just wrapped his arms around her and made himself more comfortable beside her, nestling his face in her hair very gently.

* * *

It took days of pleading on Kate's part, but Hank had finally, _finally_ said she could go up to breakfast and get some coffee with everyone else like a _normal person_. She was getting very tired of being stuck down there, no matter how nice it was to have Kurt snuggling her all the time.

When she did finally get to the kitchen, Bobby and Peter had their heads together over Peter's phone, and she could hear music for just a second before they paused whatever they were watching and both looked up at her with wide grins.

"Oh, you … aren't supposed to be up here yet," Peter said, stashing the phone quickly. "Go 'way. Come back later."

Kate tipped her head at him and slid over to the table to lean over it and make a half-hearted grab for the phone. "Secrets are no fun, Pete," she teased.

"Ha! No, not yet. These secrets are delightful and you will love me for it once I get this done. Really," he promised. "There is some genius on the web right now doing amazing things with a nature documentary."

"'Some genius' huh?" Kate said, raising an eyebrow as she sat down in the chair and then grinned at Bobby. "It's you, isn't it? You been following around this spider here? Studying his eating habits?"

"Nocturnal activities while he drools on himself, no." Bobby said with a laugh. "I am a passive observer."

She just grinned at both of them as she reached over and stole Peter's coffee for herself.

"Hey! That — that has the last of my special creamer, you punk," he said with a frown. "Chocolate peppermint only comes around once a year, you know."

"I'll buy you more," she said with a smirk as she drank the coffee and then let out a contented sigh. "Oh. This is so nice, Pete."

"You're welcome," he said with a little smirk as he decided to shrug it off. "I guess it's alright. I mean. You did _die._ It was on the news and everything. Has to be true."

She frowned and took a much longer drink from the mug. "Slander," she said into the mug when she was finished.

"Actually ... it was kinda true," Bobby pointed out. "I read the reports."

She frowned his way and just shook her head. "We live in a house full of drama queens," she said in a more subdued tone than before the more she thought of it — and she really, really didn't like to think about it. "I'm not a ghost, in case you haven't noticed."

"Um ... debriefings on dying aren't drama," Bobby said seriously. "And ... I saw part of the tape. Couldn't stomach all of it."

Kate turned a bit paler and just shoved the coffee mug back at Peter. "I'm going to …. go shoot something."

"You're just going to hurt your ribs and take more time to heal," Bobby told her, grabbing hold of her arm to pull her back into her seat before she could go anywhere. "I promise I won't bring up Wolverine and Cyclops kissing jokes. I mean … after that one."

She pulled a face at him.

"At least they weren't kissing each other?" he said with a shrug.

She pulled another, worse face but leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed. "Lucky me I don't remember the kissing," she said. "But thanks for _that_ mental image."

"I promise, I'll play nice," Bobby said as he went to go pour her a cup of coffee and bring it to her. "Don't hurt yourself."

She slowly uncrossed her arms and smiled the slightest bit at the corner of her mouth. "Thanks, Bobby," she said as she took the coffee.

"Jubes has been taking your coffee perch," Peter said. "Let me know if there's going to be an aerial battle for top spot."

Kate snorted. "I'd win."

"Even with broken wings, very interesting," he said to himself, nodding slowly.

"Well, you know how I feel about coffee," she said with a teasing smirk.

"I may have noticed," Peter replied with a grin. "So what can we do for you today?" He wasn't looking up at her as he sat on the counter across the kitchen, working furiously on his phone.

"Well, let's see, I've stolen your special creamer, got my own cup… I think I'm set," she teased. "Just came up to escape the dungeon."

"Dungeon? Has Beast broken out the shackles and flails again?" Bobby asked as he pushed the sugar her way.

"You should see the rack. It's _creepy_ ," she told him with a laugh.

"HA! Got it! Finally!" Peter shouted from across the room before looking up with a sheepish smile. "Oh, hello. So that's finished."

"Your secret project?" Kate asked.

"Well. now that I've run through it a few times and fixed the editing snafu? Yes. Yes, my secret project. Wanna see it? Bobby talked Hank into doing the voiceover."

"Now _that_ sounds interesting," Kate laughed, waving him over.

Peter wasted no time presenting the cued up video to her of the JJ newscast when she called in and tore into him — complete with hushed nature-documentary overtones supplied by the one and only Dr. Henry McCoy. Kate was in fits of giggles and holding her sides by the time it was finished — both regretting the laughter for hurting her broken and healing ribs and _not regretting it at all._

"And I thought the auto-tune was funny," she said, still giggling.

"I tried to get one of the girls to do it with a faux British accent, but … that did not work out like I planned," Peter admitted.

"I kinda want to see the bloopers on that," Kate chuckled.

"That could be arranged," Peter agreed. "Plus, Hank went on a tangent at one point about primate dominance behaviors in accordance with testicle size."

"He did _not_." Kate had her hand over her mouth now, laughing hard.

"He did," Bobby said. "It took Peter two times listening to it to catch that he was saying that he must have a tiny pair judging by the volume of his ranting — which was great counterpoint from the Beast in a whisper."

Kate was nearly beside herself, tears in her eyes from laughing with busted ribs. "Oh. Oh I love that furry blue doctor." She shook her head. "I mean ... it was funny enough without the voiceover. But this? Oh man."

"We're not the only ones to do it either," Peter pointed out. "There are already about thirty of them — but we've been getting requests for the friendly neighborhood spidey to take his spin. So..."

Kate grinned. "You should tell that Spidey he's my favorite videographer."

"He is pretty amazing," Peter said as he brushed his nails off his puffed out chest with a smirk.

"I am going to need to watch, like, all of those videos. Whenever I'm sad. That… now I can hear Beast voiceover in my head and I just…" She just started to shake her head. "That was beautiful, Pete. Bobby. You guys — that just made my morning."

"You know ... if you _really_ need to shoot something, someone has gone directly against Scott's requests and has a few rifles outside. With explosive targets. No idea what kind of lunatic would mix that kind of thing up — but they did," Bobby said at a stage whisper, though by the way he was grinning it was clear that he knew exactly who it was tweaking Scott just so.

Kate grinned at him. "I really prefer bows, but that sounds like a fun disaster waiting to happen."

"I'll take you out there if you want," Peter offered. "It's kind of out in the woods."

"It'd have to be to avoid blowing this place up," Kate pointed out with a smirk.

"The explosions aren't that big, you crazy person. At least ... they weren't when I left."

"Well, let's go see if they're getting any bigger," Kate teased.

When Kate was finished with her coffee, Peter took her outside, and the two of them followed the very obvious set of footprints in the snow out past the treeline. As soon as they'd stepped outside, they could hear the gunfire, but it wasn't until they were closer that the first explosion went off. "Apparently it's not an every shot kind of thing," Peter said with a shrug.

"Keeps it interesting, I guess," Kate said, smirking.

When they turned the last corner, they spotted their shooter as she was plinking off cans in rapid succession — and then shooting the explosive that was in the center of each grouping. She shot four groupings before it was time to reload, and when she was mid magazine switch, Kate called out a friendly greeting. K waved at her and gestured for both of them to come over as she set the rifle down on the table.

"Welcome to the world of the upright and conscious," K teased.

Kate smirked at her. "Aww, did you miss my rapier wit?"

"You know, I knew it was a lot quieter around here lately — I just … couldn't put my finger on it until just now."

Kate snorted out a laugh as Peter chuckled beside her. "Have fun blowing things up, ladies," he said.

"Come on, Petey — just one …" K was half singing his way. "It won't bite you."

"Well, if he's never shot one before? It'll bite him. So hard to handle those things," Kate teased.

"No it won't," K said, already pulling Peter over. "Come on. It's like shooting pool — I'll show you. Just gotta get a box so I can stand close enough to put my hands where they'd need to be."

"Thanks, but no thanks," Peter said shaking his head as he walked backwards. "I do not need to start any trouble like that." He shot the girls a grin and headed off at a jog.

"Scaredy spider," K muttered before she turned to Kate. "So. If you want? It's like…. instant gratification. Plink off the cans, then hit the plastic jug in the middle. Two hundred yards. Easy peasy for a Hawkeye."

Kate smirked and shrugged. "Not much for guns, but I do like explosions," she said.

"Keep it tight to your shoulder, and it won't give you a lick of trouble," K advised.

"Yeah, Clint taught me how," Kate said. "I just prefer bows is all."

"Boys. They're idiots," K said shaking her head. "When you're healed, we'll shoot bows."

Kate grinned and nodded. "I hate breaks like these," she admitted to K as she held out a hand for the rifle. "Arms, ribs, shoulders — drives me _nuts_ waiting to get better so I can go back to the bow."

"Yeah, I hear you. I don't know what I'd do if it took longer than a couple minutes, you poor, sweet little thing."

Kate shot K a _look_ and just shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I'm not — you're ridiculous."

"I'm serious," K said. "That's messed up. Thank God I'm a freak."

Kate shrugged and pointed at the bandages along her chin that she hadn't gotten around to taking off yet. "Yeah, comes with the Hawkeye territory."

K narrowed her eyes and shook her head slowly. "I see that. The resemblance between you and your brother is phenomenal."

"He's _not_ my brother. He's just…. Clint."

"Right, right. Ex- whatever. _Gotcha_. Friend with benefits."

" _NO._ Oh my gosh. No." Kate was shaking her head hard.

"Hey, ease up, I didn't say what the benefits were, pervert."

"You were giving me this _look_ and ... and people say it all the time. Total strangers on the street, K. Happened more often before Kurt — but oh my _gosh_."

"Well. You have to know if everyone says it … there might be a reason for it," K reasoned.

"He's just…" Kate waved her hand.

"Benefits. Got it. Checks out clean. Ish."

Kate blew out her breath and leveled her finger at K. "He's my mentor. Sorta. I take care of him, also sorta."

"Do you now?"

"He's, like, five years old," Kate said, shaking her head. "And an idiot, and also my sidekick."

K just gave her a knowing look and nodded slowly as she handed Kate the full magazine. "I gotcha." She gave her a wink and tipped her chin toward the next group of targets.

Kate rolled her eyes but settled in to take the shots. It wasn't like using a bow, which felt much better in her hands, but like shooting a target with anything? So very satisfying. There was something about making a shot that was just _fun_ , and it was even better when there was an explosive finale — and Kate found herself grinning despite her earlier funk.

The two of them took turns until they'd eradicated the pesky exploding target population and then headed up to the house, with K packing the rifle up on one shoulder and carrying the ammo box in her free hand as they chatted.

"Feeling better having blown a few things up?" K asked finally.

"I always feel better shooting things," Kate said with a grin. "Ribs're still shot, but hey, that was _fun_."

"Good, glad to be of service," she replied quietly. "Nice to see you up and about too. I'm surprised Kurt let you take three steps unassisted."

Kate chuckled and leaned over to explain, "He had to go talk to Scott about something or other. I think actually Annie was worried about him, to be honest."

"Annie … has been trying to _talk_ to everyone," K said with her lip curled up the slightest.

Kate gave K a sideways glance at the tone and then shook her head. She knew the type; she'd had friends in LA and in the Young Avengers and everything in between who lived in a perpetual state of _concern_ whenever something nasty went down. Annie was definitely one of those, and it was sweet, in a very Annie kind of way.

"I mean, I get it," Kate said with a shrug. "First time I had a run-in with a serious bad guy enough to take me down, it shook me hard. And all she's got to base snatching baselines off of is _Sinister,_ so experience alone has got to have her convinced we're all a step away from a heart attack."

"Scott hasn't been himself lately either," K told her in a low tone, and Kate raised her eyebrows. That part she _didn't_ know about — the hazards of being on so many different kinds of pain medicine and recovering from… well… what… had happened. "And I've been … too busy to mess with his stupid paperwork, so I can't tell you too much," K added. "I know I scared Annie though, so … I've been avoiding pretty much everyone."

Kate put a hand on K's arm. "She'll get used to it. I did, and I was, like, sixteen when I started seeing stuff like that."

"She shouldn't have to," K replied with a shrug. "It's fine. I'm not bothered by that."

"She still adores you, you know," Kate told her, slipping her arm through K's and giving her a little squeeze. "I mean, when she came down to visit, she was _so grateful_ you and Logan were there to help Scott rescue me… us. It was kind of sweet the way she talked you up — and Scott of course, but that woman is _so_ very biased."

"They did all the work, I just didn't need the map," K said with a little smile.

"Oh yeah. Gotta let the boys have all the credit. Egos. So delicate," Kate said, nodding seriously but smirking hard.

"Well they did," she said easily. "I just played scout a little bit."

"And stabbed Kurt's mom a little bit too," Kate said. "Jubilee showed me that part of the tape. Which, by the way, was totally weird… seeing someone else as me. Kinda glad you stabbed her after she was blue."

"Anybody would have done that." K waved her off.

"Yeah, she's very stabbable," Kate agreed. "Both his parents are. I hope you never meet his _dad_."

"Well if I do, I've now been warned. Bring my claws."

Kate leaned in with a smirk. "Logan cut off his tail last time they met? And Kurt _still_ winces every time he thinks about it. It's kind of adorable when the bamfs start making faces too."

K just kind of smirked a little wider at that. "That's an interesting mental image. I mean. Tail has a mind of it's own right? Did it flop around for a while?" She turned Kate's way with wide eyes. "Like a big ugly fish?"

"I wasn't there," Kate admitted. "I was four at the time."

"Well, I've decided that's what happened," K said.

"Then it must be true," Kate laughed, laying her head on K's shoulder as they two women made their way back to the mansion and very relieved that she had at least _one_ friend who was willing to tease and shoot instead of talking about… what… whatever had happened.

Kate still didn't like _thinking_ about it, much less talking about it, so K? K was safe. And she appreciated it beyond belief.


	13. Joining the X-Men is a Spiritual Experience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kate finally delivers the message that Charles Xavier asked her to give Scott. And then she cries all over him. This, surprisingly, is also the key to getting him to pull his head out when he's in a funk, apparently, to Kurt's great surprise.

 

* * *

 

When K and Kate finally got back up to the house after their explosive target time, Kurt and Scott were both just inside the door talking — and K simply shifted a bit before she wished Kate luck and slipped off, clearly set on avoiding both of the men entirely.

"You two must be really scary," Kate said, shaking her head at them as she slipped over to stand by Kurt and lean on him — and only half because she wanted to flirt with him. She really was tired out; Hank _might_ have _maybe_ been right about not quite being ready to join the land of the upright. "So intimidating, standing there."

"What are you talking about?" Scott asked with a little crease in his brow.

Kate just shook her head again and waved her hand. "Nothing, boss man. I'm just teasing you. You look all… Atlas-y over here. What's up with you two?"

The two men shared a quick look before Kurt put a hand on her arm. "It's simply been an eventful few weeks," he told her gently.

She tipped her head at both of them before she shook her head. "What, did something else go wrong? Because it had to have for you to pass up the lecture. I mean — not even a 'don't shoot guns' or a 'you shouldn't be up' from either of you?" She looked them over, turning her focus from the shifting Kurt to Scott, who was just standing with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders shrugged. "If it's got you so twisted, I'll grab my bow and shoot whatever it is. Ribs'll heal."

"It's not exactly a problem to shoot at, Kate," Scott told her with a light shrug.

"Great. I'm also good at yelling at people. Point me, boss man," she said, trying to get a smile, a smirk, anything. When she got nothing, she tried again: "I can totally play with politicians, business guys, SHIELD agents — who am I schmoozing or yelling at?"

"Kate," Kurt said, shaking his head. "We're not fighting anyone. It's just ... a matter of trying to tighten down security for the team. Given what's happened in the last month or so."

"I just need to come up with some better protocols," Scott said dejectedly.

"For what? For when coffee turns evil in the middle of _New Orleans_?" Kate asked, one hand on her hip. "Because you're gonna have a hard time tamping down the worldwide security, boss man."

He let out a sigh and shrugged the slightest bit. "I'll figure something out."

She hit him in the arm with the palm of her hand and stared at him for a second, recognizing the expression on his face for what it was. She didn't like it one bit. "You — you're worse than Clint, you know that?" she said.

"Now you're exaggerating," Scott said.

"I am, huh?" She's let go of Kurt's arm so she could put both hands on her hips. "Tell me if any of this sounds familiar, okay? Big guy with good aim? Leader of a team? Thinks everything that goes wrong ever is his fault? Fixes it by _moping_? Am I getting warm?"

He gave her a dry look and let out a little sigh. "I'm just trying to keep everyone safe and get everyone working well together."

"And you _do_ ," Kate pointed out. "I'm still alive, aren't I? Team's still together? Nobody's ditched or died or had a crisis—"

"Yet. Nobody yet."

"So what's your plan, boss man?" she asked. "You just going to give everyone puppy dog eyes — oh, please, nobody get shot or anything by the bad guys."

Scott was pinching the bridge of his nose and just looking worn down as he shook his head. "I'm so not cut out for this," he muttered quietly to himself. "I should just go back to Alaska."

Kate smacked the side of his arm again. "Idiot," she said, shaking her head at him almost affectionately before she darted in for a hug. "You're the best team leader I've ever had. Even if you're so, _so_ stupid."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence," he replied in a very flat tone as he turned to walk away, his gaze on the ground and his head hanging.

"Look, you're just — you shouldn't…" She let out a sigh and then scrunched up her face and looked at Kurt. "Be right back," she told him and kissed his cheek before she rushed after Scott, grabbing his arm as she caught up to him. "What do you need? Ice cream? Annie? Ice cream and Annie?"

"I need to quit fooling myself," Scott said through gritted teeth.

She slipped around to stand in front of him, finger pointed at the center of his chest. "You are such a _Barton_ ," she said, exasperated. "So I died. So the bad guys won a round or two. It's not your fault they're evil little obnoxious bags of pickle juice!"

"None of that is something I take lightly, Kate. Not one bit," he said, his gaze on the finger she'd left on his chest.

"And you shouldn't, but ... look. You can't win _all the time_. I mean, you just _can't_."

"That's not it," Scott said "I know. We lose. We lose fights we shouldn't sometimes, but that's not … I know how to lose."

"Then what's the problem? Get back up off your butt, Scott."

"I can't lead this team," Scott said and he gently pushed aside her hand and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at her.

"Well, who do you suggest we get, then?" she asked, crossing her arms to match him. "Anybody else you know that's got your experience and that we'd all _like_ and that would throw themselves into it like you do? Hmm? And don't say Storm. She just wants to run the _school,_ not the _team_. I would know. I have goddess sleepovers."

Scott shook his head slowly. "I don't even know why I came back," he said in a low near-whisper. "I don't _deserve_ this."

"Yeah, you probably deserve better than a team full of ridiculous people like you got, but hey, sorry," Kate said, shrugging and grinning at him.

That, at least, earned her a dry look. It wasn't a full improvement from the Sad Scott look she'd been getting, but she'd take it.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Scott told her.

"Yeah, but it's what you _should've_ meant," she countered. "We're doing good, Scott! Seriously. This team — I mean. Have you seen us? We're amazing!"

"Yeah, you guys have really come together," Scott said.

She smacked him in the arm again, and he glared at her. " _We_ have come together. You're just — you're just overreacting."

"Kate…" He shook his head as he seemed to try to arrange his thoughts properly. "I .. I don't deserve to be here. With this team. Leading them. Out of everyone — I _shouldn't be here._ "

She stared at him for a second and then just ran forward to give him a hug. "Yes you should. I _like_ having you around, and so does everyone. Fearless Leader and all that."

He gave her a tiny smirk and let out a breath. "After what I did, I don't deserve to …"

She hugged him harder and blatantly ignored her ribs. "I don't know if you've noticed? But we have a lot of 'after what I did' people on the team. You fit in _great_."

"I betrayed his dream. I can't … even _begin_ to fill those shoes."

Kate let out a breath as the pieces _finally_ clicked into place. She probably would have clued in earlier if she'd lived through half of the X-Men nonsense that she'd seen on the news or that Kurt had told her about, but… well, she hadn't. But now that she was caught up, she made sure she didn't let go of Scott as she tried to find something to help him out.

There was, of course, the _obvious_ thing. But… that was a whole other topic she did _not_ want to broach.

"Nobody's asking you to be the new Professor Xavier," she said quietly. "He… wouldn't ask that either."

He stiffened in the hug and tried to gently push her off at her shoulders, but she wasn't about to move, and he just let out a sigh.

"You know… you know he's proud of you, right?" Kate said carefully.

He let out a little bark of a laugh with not even a whisper of humor in it. "You never even met him, Kate. You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Wanna bet?" she said, without raising her voice. "Because you'll lose that bet, boss man."

"Yeah? I'm gonna have to call BS on you for that one," Scott said bitterly.

She took a deep breath, glaring hard for a moment before she took a slight step back so she could look at him properly. Fine. If he was going to make her bring out the big guns… "He… he's got this smile like he just wants to prove you right," she said after a moment. "It's just this… proud look."

He looked totally stricken as he stared at her openly, the argument she was sure he had prepared dropping away entirely. "How...?"

She shifted and rubbed her arm with one hand. "He was… with my mom," she said in a very, very quiet voice. "He told me to say hi ... and that… he was proud. And… to stop blaming yourself, because he doesn't at all." The last words came out in a rush as she looked up from the floor to meet his gaze so she could be sure the message was delivered.

"When did that happen?" he asked softly.

She shifted again. "In New Orleans."

"Kate..." He looked at her with a perfectly open expression before he lightly shook his head, snapping himself out of his own thoughts. "Can you tell me about it? Please?"

"I… okay." She looked around the hall for a moment. "Can — can we sit down or… what's the usual plan for…?"

"Whatever you're most comfortable with," he assured her quickly, already with one hand on her shoulder as he was still looking at her with that same open look. "We can go for a drive if you think it'd be easier."

"That… might be good, yeah," she said, tilting her head at him. "You believe me, though? I mean — it really happened?"

"Yeah, yeah, I believe you," Scott promised quickly.

She let out all her breath at once and put her head in the middle of his chest and just ... started to cry.

* * *

The drive had helped — just having something that was an excuse to get out, to focus on the winter scenery around them when Kate was struggling for words. So when they pulled back into the garage, Kate didn't feel quite so much like she was just going to start up all over again now that she'd started to cry — and Scott never once gave her a hard time or cross-questioned her on anything, just let her tell him on her own time.

Kate gave him one more thank you hug before they split — Scott to find Annie and Kate to find Kurt, though that took a little while, since he wasn't in their room or in any of the 'usual' places. She had to laugh, though, when she finally found Kurt — she should have guessed. He was playing pool with Logan, and the bamfs were apparently placing bets. One of them had a little green visor cap and everything.

She sat down next to one of the bamfs and started to absently tickle him as she watched the pool game. The two old friends had clearly been joking around, low and quiet, with each other, and their teasing conversation had dwindled long before Kate had shown up. The smoke was thick in the room, and both of them had been drinking and smoking and making little inside jokes, one word at a time as they each stalked around the pool table.

It was clear that it was just a friendly game between the two of them, though, as there was no money on the rail — despite the bamfs' heavy betting atmosphere — and they didn't seem to have any competition at all — not like every other time she'd caught the two of them playing, anyhow.

When Logan saw the redness of Kate's cheeks, and he glanced her way, frowning at the scent of tears in the air, she could have sworn that he scratched that last shot on purpose. As the cue ball slipped into the corner pocket, he swore very softly and conceded the game. The two old friends took one last pot shot at each other before they parted company. Logan gave Kate a little wink on the way out as a sort of almost late acknowledgement and put out the cigar on his boot before he left the two of them more or less alone.

"Did you and Scott have a nice chat?" Kurt asked mildly as he put his cue away and headed toward her.

"Yeah," she said, scooting off her seat to meet him and give him a little hug. "Sorry to ditch you, but he needed his ears cleaned out the hard way apparently. The man can't listen."

"And his ears are working better now, I hope?"

"I am a miracle worker," she said with a small smirk.

"Clearly you just got to Clint a hair too late," Kurt teased. "We're lucky you saved Scott from himself."

Kate just laughed, stood up on her toes, and kissed his cheek. "Yep. So lucky to have me. What _did_ you guys do before me?"

"Clearly not enough," he said with his eyebrows raised. He wrapped his arm around her and started to walk slowly toward the door.

She leaned into him a bit with a sigh and a smile. "Who knew _driving_ could take it out of you, huh?" she laughed quietly. "I'm wiped."

"Well let's get you to bed then," Kurt said as he led her slowly toward the stairs, humming a bit to himself with some old tune from Germany.

She pulled him a bit tighter to her. "What about you? Have a good time with Logan?"

"Oh, always," Kurt said with a rich, reassuring tone. "You know how it is with him."

"Especially with the two of you together. How did the house survive when Scott and I were _both_ gone?" she teased.

"There were no ninjas," he said simply with a shrug. "I put the right bait out and everything — but … maybe next time."

She chuckled quietly. "You were going to fight ninjas without me? Shameful, Kurt. Just shameful."

"I know, and I'll be forced to pay some sort of penance for it, but he needed it. I should have cracked him over the head with the pool cue perhaps."

"What'd he do?" she laughed.

"Nothing unusual," he said gently. "For him."

"I can go hit him. Worked with Scott — sorta," she laughed.

"How so?" he asked, though he tried not to look too interested in case she backed off quickly, after the way she'd been since New Orleans. "I may need to learn that move."

"Oh, you know. Just hit him in the arm, call him an idiot, and then cry all over his shirt. Works every time," Kate said in a light tone, though her expression was serious.

They were halfway up the stairs when Kurt stopped and looked at her with a concerned expression on his face for just a moment before he simply teleported them to their room. "Why did you cry?" he asked, one hand on each of her arms so he was facing her fully.

She shrugged all the way up to her ears. "Just… everything that happened. It was a lot."

His shoulders slumped, and he pulled her to the bed. "I'm sorry, I should have done more — somehow."

"Yeah, I'm sure you would've been real helpful drooling on the carpet," she said with a wave of her hand.

"I'm not sure I understand," Kurt said.

"You just ... you know…. Last I saw you before the _thing,_ you were unconscious. So… not much help, sorry." She shrugged again.

"I should have figured it out sooner, though. There were signs that we all missed. I shouldn't have. I knew better — I was just careless."

She snuggled into his side and gave him a very gentle kiss. "The guilt is very cute, even if it's totally wrong. Don't make me smack you in the arm too."

"Well if it's just the arm, I'm not terribly interested," he teased.

She laughed at him and leaned in to kiss him again. " _There's_ my Kurt," she teased. "For a second there, you were all Hawk-like."

"Perhaps you're rubbing off on me," Kurt pointed out.

"Wrong Hawkeye," she laughed. " _I_ am a delightful influence."

"Of course you are," he agreed with a little laugh as he laid down on his side to prop his head up and watch her.

She turned to face him as well, a little frown playing at the corner of her mouth. "Really, though," she said at last. "It wasn't your fault. You know — Masque's been after me for _years._ Probably would have been _worse_ if I wasn't with the team."

He looked as if he wanted to correct her on the point but instead just nodded. "I suppose you're probably right. At least they were watching out for you."

"Pretty sure you're watching my back too, cutie," she pointed out with a small smile before she shrugged up one shoulder and sighed. "Noh said you were the one who found me."

"Yes, that much is true," he agreed, though his tail stilled behind him.

She reached over to brush her hand through some of his curls. "I've told you how lucky I am to have you, right?" she asked quietly.

He just nodded and sighed as he turned his head toward her hand.

She rubbed her thumb over his cheek for a moment and just watched him before she asked, "What do you need?"

"Just you," he replied with a little smile. "And perhaps some sleep."

She smiled and pulled herself closer to him until she had her head just under his chin and her arm draped over his middle. "I can help with both of those things," she told him. "I'm here, the bed is warm — problem solved. I'm a genius," she teased.

He just wrapped himself around her as best he could and agreed quietly. "You are indeed."

She just nuzzled into him and held him tight until both of them had drifted off to sleep, though it took both of them a while, since each was trying to make the other more comfortable.

They were both deeply asleep when, very suddenly, Kurt awoke to find that Kate was twisted in the blanket, sweaty and fighting as she mumbled something inaudible that gradually grew louder until she was completely wrapped up in the sheets.

He gently called her name and placed one hand on her arm to try and wake her, distressed at how terrified she was in her dream. But she didn't wake, just kept squirming and kicking, until he took a firmer grip on her arm and had to shake her awake. As soon as her eyes were open and she saw where she was — or where she was _not_ — she let out a gasp and simply fell into his arms and started to cry in earnest.

He didn't hesitate or question her in the least as he wrapped her up tightly and just held her, waiting quite a while before he began to land tender little kisses on the top of her head and mutter little encouraging words in both English and German as he tried to grasp for something to comfort her.

When she finally seemed to have settled out, and picked her head up just a bit, he tipped his head down to try and look at her. "What happened, _V_ _ö_ _gelchen_? What did you dream? And how can I help?"

She had both of her hands in his pajama shirt and put her head back down on his chest, her eyes screwed shut as she just whispered, "I didn't come back."

"From where?" he asked, clutching her to his chest and stroking her hair gently.

"I _died,_ Kurt," she said in what was more a gasp than anything else.

"In your dream? You're right here, it's okay," Kurt promised. "It was just a bad dream."

"No — no it wasn't. Scott said it wasn't."

Realization hit him, and he glanced around the room quickly before he realized exactly what she was getting at. "You mean in New Orleans?"

She nodded into his chest.

His whole body seemed to follow the breath that he let out. "Oh, Kate, I didn't know — you didn't _tell_ me."

"I didn't… I… I just — saying it out loud…"

"It was real even if you didn't say it out loud, _liebling_ ," he said gently. For a long moment, he simply held her tighter, his heart breaking for what he _knew_ she must have been feeling. "I'm so sorry you went through that," he said at last."It had to have been very hard for you. I know it was for me."

She let go of his shirt to put her arms around him instead and leaned in. "I'll never joke about this X-Men dying thing ever again," she said with a half-choked out laugh.

"I know," he said. "No one expects it to be a spiritual experience when they join up."

She laughed quietly into his chest. "I guess I've got to rethink my worldview," she told him. For a long while, she considered her next words as something that had been bothering her since seeing her mother tugged at the back of her throat. "I… didn't even really believe in heaven before I met you. And that's not a line, it's just — you were there. And you know ... your dad's on the other end."

"It's certainly easier to believe what we can see," Kurt replied gently. "Which is why I'm always the one reminding everyone to have faith."

"And here I thought it was your training as a priest," she laughed quietly.

"It helped — though nothing prepares you for that journey," he told her. "It's never quite what you think."

"No, it wasn't," she agreed, thinking of the light feeling, of her mother's arms around her... "I mean… I wasn't expecting…" She took a breath and leaned into him harder. He felt just as real as Eleanor Bishop had, and she wasn't sure that was entirely comforting.

"It's alright," he promised quietly. "Whatever or whoever you saw — I'm sure it was whatever you needed to hear most."

She chuckled. "Actually, some of it was what _Scott_ needed to hear most," she admitted.

"That's interesting," Kurt said with a smile. "I'm glad he's found peace in something then."

"After I hit him and cried on him," she agreed.

"Yes, well, you left out the spiritual epiphany."

"I'm starting to see that was my first mistake," she said with a little smirk.

"As long as you learn from it, you'll be fine," he assured her. "At least — that's what I'm told."

"I think I'd like to never have to apply that knowledge until I'm, like, ninety and it's old age," she tried to joke.

"I agree; I'd much prefer you didn't go rushing off into the light," he said with a little smirk.

She nodded and smiled, tucking into his side. "Yeah… the coming back part is no fun."

"No, I'm sure. Particularly when you had Logan trying to jumpstart your heart for you." He gave her a little kiss on top of her head. "You can hit him for the broken ribs. It just means he did a good job."

She laughed quietly. "No, I'm glad he did — I'm glad I came back. It was nice, but… it was just Mom. Everyone else is here."

At that, he pulled her in tightly again and just silently said a little prayer to himself for a couple minutes, then kissed her temple. "I'm so sorry, Kate. I know it must have been terrible to leave her."

"I haven't seen her in so long," she admitted, her lip trembling just the slightest bit. "She… um. Said hi. Sort of."

He smiled at her warmly. "I'm sure I'd have loved her, seeing as you must have taken after her."

"Well, everyone says I look like Dad, so I guess the personality's all her."

"So? I look like my father — and that means nothing," Kurt said with a smile.

"It just means you have pointy ears that I can kiss," she replied.

"And a tail to pull you closer," he added, doing exactly that for emphasis.

She laughed and nuzzled into his neck. "Have I told you I love you? Because I totally do."

"You have," he said. "Have I told you that I love you too?"

"You might have mentioned it," she laughed again.

"Just once or twice?"

"About that."

"Are you sure? _Ich liebe dich,"_ he said very carefully.

She grinned at him. "Well, if we're counting German, that's three times," she teased.

"Always count the German," he advised. "Some things are easier for me to say that way."

"Why — because you know I won't get it?" she teased. "I'm learning fast, you know."

"It just rolls off my tongue easier," he said. "And … perhaps a bit of that too."

"Sneaky Elf," she teased.

"I am half demon," he pointed out.

"Clearly a case of nurture versus nature," she said, shaking her head.

"Ah, that's right — you haven't met the rest of the family," Kurt said with a shake of his head. "I think it's best to just leave it to divine intervention."

She lifted her head up to meet his gaze and tapped him in the chest. "Well, I only met the one while I was there. Not enough time for the rest of the family, I guess."

He frowned a bit at that before he tried to shake it off, his tail twitching just at the tip as he thought it over. "Which family of mine would you have possibly seen?"

She smiled shyly at him for a moment. "Um... Charles Xavier says hi too."

Shock showed plainly on his face for a moment as he processed that. "Charles?"

She nodded. "He just wanted to say 'welcome to the team.'"

"And the epiphany with Scott … that was from Charles?" He was starting to smile the more he considered what she was saying.

"He asked me to talk to Scott," Kate said.

"Oh, Charles," he said, closing his eyes. "You must find better ways to deliver your messages."

"Uh, yeah. No one else dies for messages," Kate said, tapping him in the chest. "I know I'm slow on the uptake but — no."

"Oh, I agree," Kurt said before he leaned forward and kissed her. "I'd rather not have to watch anyone die for a 'hello'."

She pulled him a bit tighter and nodded into his shoulder. "If he wants to say hi, he can come _here_." He nodded in agreement and relaxed substantially.

"Let's get to bed," Kurt said quietly. "Unless there's anything else you want to get off your chest?"

She paused, half holding her breath as she considered his question. She definitely did _not_ want to talk about what her mom had said about Kurt, but… after everything that had happened... There were a few things that she felt like she _had_ to get straight. Knowing what she knew now.

"You're… you used to be a priest, and... " She chewed over the words in her mouth. "So ... I guess, you'd know how the whole… spiritual thing works and ... I'm still new at it. Like, very new." She let out the breath she had been holding and rested her head on his shoulder a bit. "Kurt, I don't even — I don't even know _how_ to pray."

"Nonsense," he said gently. "You may not know the words that people repeat to comfort themselves, but a prayer — the words mean nothing if you don't speak them from your heart. It's the intention behind it that counts."

"Teach me," she said, very softly. "Please."

"I'd be honored," he told her quietly before he took a cleansing breath and began with the Apostle's Creed.


	14. R.S.V.P - B.Y.O Swords

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kate's friends Billy and Teddy would like the Skrulls and the Kree to keep their noses out of their plans for a wedding. The other Young Avengers and X-Men might have a few suggestions there.

 

* * *

The next morning, early, Scott headed down to grab some coffee with a bit of a smirk on. He knew Logan and K would be down there with the newspaper and the first pot of coffee, and he had decided he'd had enough of waiting. K was the only one who'd seen the entire mission in New Orleans go down, and she was _going_ to tell him about it. A full debrief. No more putting it off.

Sure enough, when he got there, it was early enough that it was just the two of them, and K was at the counter refilling her coffee mug. He grabbed his own cup and headed right over with a "Good morning" and a nod.

She smiled up at him and returned his greeting, even going so far as to lean against the counter and wait for him to get his coffee. "Any big plans today?"

"No missions that I'm aware of," he said with the smirk still firmly in place. "But then, you know how they pop up." He tipped his head her way. "Got a debrief this morning, though. I've got the room all scheduled, and I just need you to be there."

"Why?" she asked, quickly kicking away from the counter and headed for Logan as he watched the exchange.

"Because that's how we do things, and you're on the team now." When she frowned at him and looked like she was going to argue, he just sighed and grabbed her around the middle to hoist her over his shoulder. "Yeah, I'm done arguing this."

She startled and tried to argue "Scott! Hey! This is not like you!" But she didn't actually do anything that would make him drop her — as Logan simply wished Scott luck with a little salute.

When they arrived at the briefing room, Scott deposited her in her seat and leaned against the table for a second with his arms crossed. "Alright. We're debriefing. Tell me about New Orleans. Anything you can think of, details..."

"You were there, caveman. There isn't anything I can tell you that you don't already know."

"I only heard what _you_ told me. Sometimes you see more than you say out loud," he pointed out with a smirk that just kept widening as he was clearly pleased with having gotten this far, at least.

She just shrugged a little and opened her mouth for a moment before she finally shrunk into her chair and looked up at him. "You know, I'm not _trying_ to be a pain. I just ... never did this before."

The smirk softened, and he uncrossed his arms before he sat in the seat across from her, his hands open in a silent invitation for her to speak.

"I never had a team. I had a handler. And they didn't care _how_ it got done or what happened between point 'a' and 'z'."

He nodded thoughtfully, his shoulders even slightly slumped. "Right," he said quietly. "Well, let's walk you through your first debriefing, then. I promise I won't bite," he added, the corner of his mouth lifting the slightest bit.

"You're a smartass," she replied with a little smirk of her own as she shifted into a little ball, her knees drawn up and her arms crossed around her legs. "Fine. How do we do this thing?"

* * *

"Now this is an interesting development," Azazel said softly, smirking to himself as he came upon the washed-up woman on the shore of his island. He recognized the blue-skinned shapeshifter immediately and laughed quietly as he just stared down at her for a moment. "Really, my dear, if you wanted to visit, you simply had to ask," he tutted as he bent down and scooped her out of the sand to carry her further into the island.

He'd gotten her into the treeline when she started to shift a bit in his arms. The frown on her face was unmistakeable even with as weak as she was, though she didn't have the strength to do more than try to push at him and mutter out 'no'.

He just chuckled at her and took a tighter grip. "If you'd rather I left you to dry in the sun — well, I'm afraid you just don't have the luxury of that choice," he told her, simply carrying her deeper into the island.

Once he'd set her down again, he was still smirking as he looked her over. Someone had clearly done her serious damage, not to mention the near-drowning, and he simply let his newly-healed tail tear a small gash in her arm, placing his hand on the new injury before he put his hand on her forehead and let the blood magic do its healing, laughing quietly when she tried to push his hand off.

He leaned back and watched for a moment as the magic started to heal her, shaking his head at the sight. "How _did_ you get into such a state, my dear? I really thought you were better than such defeat." When she responded by giving him the most venomous glare she could manage, he broke into a full laugh. "Really, Raven, there's no need to look like that. I'm helping you." But she just kept glaring, so he sighed and leaned further back, shaking his head before he waved his hand. "Why don't you show me, dear?" he asked as he reached out into her mind with his own.

Although Mystique was skilled at telepathic protections, she was also weak, and there was the blood magic in her veins to consider, and at last, he nodded in satisfaction when he saw her begin to shift, though he had to admit to being surprised when he saw the first form — a small, slight woman he had never seen before, though with a snarl that Azazel could recognize in an instant. He had expected to see that little animalistic companion of his son's, but this — this was a new development.

Far more interesting, though, was when she shifted again, this time into their son, who looked delightfully livid. When she shifted back to herself, he was grinning broadly. "You should be dead," he said thoughtfully, leaning back with his hand to his chin. "What _did_ you do to warrant matricide? We'll have to make a repeat performance if the boy's finally starting to show such promise."

There was silence for a long moment before she all but growled out her answer: "I killed his little plaything."

The broad smile disappeared entirely, and he leaned forward with an angry flash to his gaze. "You should not have done that," he told her, his tail switching the slightest bit behind him. "We needed her — I don't like having to wait for that wayward child to find another one."

He glared as he thought of it. Being trapped in this dimension was wearing on him, draining his powers in a way it wouldn't have if he hadn't been _exiled_ here. Had he conquered this world himself, he would have been a king. Now, he was relying on magic and what diminished power he had — but as ever, he was more powerful when more of his blood was on the earth. He _needed_ more progeny, and that reckless boy, though he was the reason for Azazel's banishment, was the key to building up his strength again. At least while he was trapped on this island. Once he escaped — well, there were other ways to build up his family, though of course, he would keep encouraging the boy...

"I don't care about your miserable power plays," Raven replied with a hiss, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"You will," he shot back with a growl in the back of his throat. "Especially if I find you're going to continue to interfere."

"Interfere with what? You're not going to go _anywhere_ ," she snapped. "You'll be trapped on this island forever."

"Oh, I think you'll find that's not true," he said with some heat before he let out a laugh with no humor to it. Why did she think he had bothered to save her? Certainly it was not merely his own curiosity — he had plans to put forward. "You've always been so resourceful, my dear — and if you want to leave this island? You will not be doing it alone."

"I guess we'll just have to see about that, won't we?"

"Now, now, Raven," he said, settling into a smirk. "Is that any way to show your gratitude? You are alive, aren't you?"

"It almost makes me want to die just to spite you." She got to her feet and started to walk away from him — even if she knew it was a futile movement.

He laughed at her outright and waved his hand. "Explore this place if you like, but you will not be leaving." His eyes sparkled for a moment. "We have plans to be made."

* * *

After all the excitement at the beginning of the year, it was a relief for things to settle out for a while as the school year went on — classes were taught, plays were put on, simulations were run for team building. It was refreshingly normal for a good several weeks.

Of course, it was also nearly Valentine's Day, which meant not only were there decorations everywhere but the betting pools were starting up again. The students weren't even trying to hide it anymore, and Kate definitely caught the little blonde, Tammy, giving her a smirk as she handed a slip of paper to Logan.

"Don't look at me like that," Logan said Kate's way as he looked over the little paper and pocketed it.

"You're _encouraging_ them," Kate said, shaking her head at him.

"They're gonna do it anyhow, might as well make a profit."

"Those poor sweet innocent babies losing their money," she tutted.

"It's teachin' 'em a lesson," he grumbled. "And it's for a good cause." He gave her a little smirk and just walked off.

She sighed and shook her head at him, headed outside to go for a run with some new songs America had insisted she'd love — when she stopped at the door as soon as she'd opened it.

Billy was standing there with a sheepish smile on his face, his hand raised as he was clearly about to knock, and Teddy just grinned and waved at her. "Hi, Kate. Can we come in?"

She blinked in surprise and then nodded quickly, breaking into a _huge_ smile on seeing her old friends. "Yeah, of course. We, uh, weren't expecting you."

"Yeah, that was sort of the point. We're flying under the radar," Teddy admitted in a slight whisper before he looked around. "Is Noh here too?"

She grinned and nodded. "Yeah, he's in the kitchen with Jubes and K," she said. She pulled them both in through the door and beamed. "Come on. Let's get some coffee and you can tell me why you both look like you're trying to hide from everyone. What's with the over-the-shoulder routine?"

Billy looked at Teddy, and they both shrugged, waiting until the door was closed before Billy said, "It's been a long few months. We'll tell you all about it over coffee."

The three friends made their way toward the kitchen as the halls started to quiet down after the class change, though Kate had half an eye on her two friends as they both still looked nervous. But as soon as they walked into the kitchen, Noh looked up with a broad grin and waved them over. "Billy! Teddy! Come in — it's good to see you!" he called out to them, his arm draped over Jubilee's shoulders.

The two of them glanced at each other and then slid into the seats across from Noh and Jubes, still looking a bit... off. Finally, Billy took a deep breath as Kate slid into a chair at the table and bit his lip as he looked over his two former teammates. "I know it's _so_ last minute, and we're total goons for asking you to give up your Valentine's Day? But do you have any plans you can't cancel this weekend?" he asked in a quick rush.

"It's Valentines — it's supposed to be about kisses and chocolate," Jubilee said. "What have you got that's better than that?"

Teddy leaned forward the slightest bit. "We - uh - we're getting married," he told her in a low whisper.

"Why is that such a bad thing that you're whispering?" Jubilee replied just as low and quiet.

"It's not!" Teddy shook his head hard, raising both hands quickly. "It's just… every time we try to book a venue, we've had… issues." He looked to Billy, who just nodded and looked tired. "Apparently, the Skrulls don't exactly _approve_ of Billy."

"What's a Skrull?" K asked quietly to Jubilee, unable to ignore that little tidbit.

Both Billy and Teddy looked at her in surprise, but it was Noh who said, "They are an alien race, the sworn enemy of my people." Noh tipped his head Teddy's way. "Present company excluded, of course."

"I see," she said sharing an odd little glance at Jubilee. "So what does that mean? Just ... against the pairing? Or …you need bouncers for your Aunt Myrtle to keep her outta the sauce?"

Billy and Teddy shared a look before Teddy let out a long sigh and extended his hand. "Nice to meet you. Teddy Altman — heir to the Skrull throne. Which I don't want. At all."

"They won't let you just … abdicate?" K asked as she took his hand. "I'm K, by the way. No one important — you know. Outside of supreme ruler of the coffee maker."

"So Kate abdicated that role, then?" Billy asked, grinning.

"Hostile take over," K answered with a soft smile.

Teddy laughed and looked over at Kate. "You've got to step up your game, Kate. Losing to random strangers."

"She brings me good coffee. I'm plotting a revolution if she switches it back," Kate said easily.

"Not gonna happen; that stuff was awful," K replied before she tipped her head toward the kitchen. "Go. Get a cup. Or else."

Billy grinned at Teddy, and the two of them headed to the counter to do just that as Kate called out, "So, where's the wedding? And what do you need? You've only given me three days, but I am _killer_ good with speed shopping."

"We… just need you guys to show up, honestly," Billy said. "We want you all to be there. The whole team. Not a wedding without you."

As the boys poured their coffee, Kurt teleported in next to them with a smirk, having just finished preparing for his drama class the next day. "Hello," he said as he reached for his cup, seemingly unperturbed by the newcomers in the kitchen.

"Hey, Kurt," Teddy said, grinning. "We were just talking about this weekend. You don't mind sharing Kate with us, do you? I think Billy wants her to be his 'best woman' or something," he teased.

"Oh? I might be able to share if you have something special planned," he said with a grin. "Do you have anyone to officiate?"

"Not yet," Teddy admitted. "We're sort of… rushing it."

"You do now," he replied, the grin widening as the two soon-to-be-newlyweds just goggled at him. "If you like."

Both of the boys broke into huge grins, and Billy actually just wrapped Kurt in a hug. "Saturday morning," he told him. "Bring your swords."

"Sounds like an interesting wedding," Kurt said, his earlier beaming smile slipping into a small frown at the thought. "What are you planning that would require swords?"

"Well, we weren't _planning_ on fighting off Skrulls at our wedding?" Billy pointed out.

"But apparently, they have a problem with me marrying a Terran," Teddy explained sheepishly. "I think they're still hoping I'll actually take up the throne, so they want someone..." He glanced at Billy. "...else."

"Then I guess we'll have to show them what happens when you try to stand in the way of true love, yes?"

"Well, that's sort of why we're eloping," Billy said. "Trying to avoid a fight if we can. But, you know, all the guests will be armed."

"It will be a proper ceremony," Kurt promised. "But I'll bring all three swords."

The two boys grinned at each other and then at Kurt and nodded. "Okay. Well," Billy said. "We don't have a location yet, because we're trying _not_ to give the Skrulls a place to find us? But we'll let you know."

"You boys have to give me your colors and things," Kate added. "I'll buy the decorations and get everyone dresses and suits. My wedding gift to you."

"You really don't have to," Billy said, but she just gave him a _look._

"I'll even buy them the night before so there's not too many eyebrows raised. And if anyone asks, I'll tell them it's for me," she said, her tone light and teasing. "JJ would have a field day."

"No one would believe it if it wasn't all purple," K deadpanned.

Kate snorted out a little laugh and had to agree. "I'll just have to come up with something more believable then."

"Say … it's for Spider-Man," K mused. "Start him on a different rant altogether."

Kate giggled. "Oh, I wouldn't do that to Pete. He's nature documentary boy."

"I would. He was following me around the other day with his documentary voice."

She giggled again and shook her head. "He did that to me in class the other day. 'And here we see the mother hawk taking care of her chicks'."

"He called me skittish just before I socked him one in the jaw," K told her. "You're right. He squeaks."

Kate just laughed and nodded over her coffee before Noh leaned back to look at Billy and Teddy. "If location is an issue," he told them with a thoughtful look, "we could use my ship. I could fly us anywhere, and I wouldn't file a flight plan or leave any sign."

Billy grinned over at Teddy. "What do you think — wedding in the stars?"

Teddy gave Billy a pointed look that traveled down the length of the star-coated uniform he wore. "That would've happened regardless," he said with a serious look that didn't match his teasing tone.

Kate snorted into her coffee, and Kurt shook his head. "How many X-Men do you need?" he asked.

"Oh, don't start pulling in the team on our account," Billy said.

"Yeah, not unless the Kree get involved too," Teddy added.

"Is that likely to be an issue too?" Kurt asked.

Teddy let out a long and weary sigh. "Yeah… half-Skrull, half-Kree. Nobody's happy with me right now."

K shot Noh a small, questioning look, and the Kree warrior said low enough that only she could hear it, "It's _not_ a usual match. Teddy is… unique."

As K nodded, Billy was leaning forward, addressing Kurt's earlier question: "I mean, we've already asked everyone that used to be a Young Avenger. We can handle some Skrulls once we get the team together."

"Well, you have at least four X-men to join you," Kurt pointed out. "In addition to the Young Avengers."

The two of them shared a look and then shrugged. "We don't really want word to get out," Billy said.

"Just us in this room, and Logan, of course. He'd enjoy killing things for the weekend," Kurt offered.

The two boys shared a look and then broke out into huge grins. "We'll see you Saturday morning, then," Teddy said.

* * *

After classes had finished that Friday evening, Kate went down to try and find K - and when she did, she wasn't actually that surprised to find that Jubilee and Noh were there as well. Jubilee was teasing K about missing out on her chocolates this weekend in favor of the Skrull-fighting wedding as Kate slid into the room with a grin.

"So," she said as she draped her arm over K's shoulders. "I'm about to go out shopping, and I need a second opinion friend. America is playing 'keep the Skrulls away' with Tommy and David, so that leaves you, my beautiful fashion diva friend."

"Shopping for … wedding stuff?" K asked with a look of disbelief. "I ... don't do that. Or .. any shopping if I can avoid it, actually."

Kate sighed. "Come on. I've done this before for my sister, and it's not so bad. Just ... it's their _big day_ , you know?"

"I don't know," K said, looking at the present company quickly. "Maybe I should see if there's a simulation or something Scott could run me through — you know. So I know what I'm fighting."

At that, Noh's head popped up from whatever he was whispering in Jubilee's ear, and he grinned delightedly. "You would be _marvelous_ at fighting Skrulls," he informed her. "Please — let me introduce you to them. They are a specialty of mine."

K gestured to Noh with an open expression. "There. See? I _can't_. It's only proper that one should learn how to kill nasty aliens in preparation for such an illustrious occasion." She smiled sweetly at Noh. "Yes, please, thank you."

He beamed at her and took a few steps to offer his arm. "Of course, there is no substitute for real experience. They are shapeshifters, and the hard light programs don't replicate the little details as best as I would like to show how to spot them, but I will do my best," he told her.

"I hate shapeshifters," K said with a little smile. "And I'm a quick study."

"Well, Wolverine loves to fight Skrulls. I'm sure you'll be just as adept," Noh said with a sideways grin. "He can smell the difference, and I'm sure you can too."

She glanced up at him quickly and then looked back toward Jubilee for a moment. "Lead on, _söt utrymmeman_."

He just laughed at her as he led the way, already giving her his favorite tips on how to make sure Skrulls stayed down when you hit them, even with their reformative powers.

Kate and Jubilee watched the two of them go with slightly disbelieving little smiles before they just had to shake their heads at the whole matter, and Jubilee turned to Kate. "Lucky for you, I am _still_ the reigning shopping champ around here," Jubilee informed her.

Kate grinned as she shook her head. "Oh, I figured as much from the 'mall rat' commentary from Bobby," she said.

"That little slap from him cost him six grand," Jubilee whispered, her eyes sparkling with trouble. "I have Remy's card too."

Kate chuckled and grabbed Jubes by the arm. "Well I have some cards of my own, and excellent tastes. We'll make a great team."

"Alright, but it's way more fun when it's on Remy's card."

"Yeah, but it's a wedding present," Kate said with a shrug. "We'll let Remy buy us dinner while we're out."

"Sounds good," she agreed before she hopped up and rubbed her hands together. "Are we just shopping for the one wedding?"

"Well, if you want to get some things for yours, I wouldn't stand in your way," Kate said, grinning.

"I'm pretty set, honestly," Jubilee replied with a grin to match before she leaned over so she was much closer to Kate so that the Hawkeye could properly _see_ how much trouble was sparkling in her gaze. "I was thinking of others. Feeling generous."

"Ooh, careful with talk like that. Pete's right — K's skittish," Kate laughed, waving her off.

"Yeah, we're going to have to work on that," Jubilee agreed.

"Slowly but surely, I'm sure," Kate said.

"Too slow," Jubilee said. "They may be able to live for another couple hundred years, but I'd like to see that he's happy before _I'm_ old."

Kate snorted. "We're still young. They've got time," she said, shrugging as she linked arms with Jubilee and the two girls headed down to the garage. "Why — you in a hurry now that you and your gorgeous Kree boyfriend are all…" She waved her hand.

"No. I'm in a hurry because I know what happens when things go for too long with him. Big and ugly will find a way to show up, she'll be dead, and he'll be a mess." Jubilee shook her head. "Gotta break the pattern somehow."

"Well that's… a pretty good reason," Kate admitted with a sigh. "But I mean ... she heals. She can fight. That's pretty good, isn't it?"

"Who knows," Jubilee said, letting out a sigh that moved through her whole body. "The problem is that I know those three probably know how to kill each other if they put their minds to it."

"Good point." Kate slid into the driver's seat and pulled the door shut as Jubilee climbed in beside her. "Still. Not a good enough reason to get married — you know. Tie the knot, or you'll _die_. Not very romantic."

"True, but ... I've seen him stood up at the altar, and I can't even tell you how many dead girlfriends," Jubes said. "Stupid enough, Viper is still breathing, and _they_ got married. Though, that wasn't a real marriage. _He says_."

Kate made a face. "Well, at least she's locked up. Pretty easy for SHIELD to pick her up when she was, like, bleeding out."

"They always get out though," Jubes said. "She's freakin' Lady Hydra. She's probably already out."

"Then we'll put her back in, and I'll stick her with a few arrows for touching my Kurt," Kate said with a confident shrug. "Arrows fly further than darts."

"It was actually pretty satisfying to see her screaming like that," Jubilee said with a fond smile on her face.

"And I missed the whole thing." Kate shook her head. "The protective K, the satisfaction… all the fun stuff."

"Seriously. That — _that_ was territorial." She grinned broadly before she suddenly clapped her hands together and refocused her attention on Kate. "So! What is our color scheme?"

"Well, they wear reds and greens all the time but I told them we are _not_ having a Christmas wedding theme," Kate said with a little snort. "Billy totally agreed."

"What about a Valentine's theme then? I mean ... it _is_ the right holiday." Jubilee thought about it for a second, her lower lip poked out in a thoughtful pout. "And, if anyone questions you, you can always say it's for a Valentines' party."

"This is entirely true," Kate said. "You _are_ the shopping genius."

"You sound surprised," Jubilee replied as she leaned back and kicked her feet up. "So little faith. Really."

"Working on that," Kate said with a little smirk.


	15. Intergalactic Wedding Crashers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Skrulls take exception to happiness, apparently.

 

* * *

 

On Valentine's Day morning, Noh went around picking up everyone separately in his ship for the wedding so that there was no big gathering to draw attention. They were all dressed to the nines in the gorgeous outfits Kate and Jubilee had picked out — light pinks and flowing skirts for the girls that they could still easily move around and fight in and deep reds for the boys. Billy and Teddy were last, both of them in white ties and deep gray suits.

"I thought we could get a good view of the moon," Noh told the two of them as they climbed into the ship, arm in arm and beaming.

"Ooh, yes," Peter said, tapping his camera with a grin. "That'll be a great shot. Wedding vows in the moonlight."

"Sounds perfect," Billy said with a grin as the _Marvel_ took off from Billy's place.

Of course, with such a small group, there was a lot less of the pomp and circumstance that would be usual, especially for Billy and Teddy — just the group of Young Avengers and a few X-Men grinning as their two friends stood by the observation window and Noh parked them where they could see the stars and the moon and, if they stepped forward and looked down, a stunning view of Eurasia.

Of course, the group of them did their best to make the day special in its own way, as America opened a portal above their heads that left them half covered in alien flowers that smelled different to everyone as she declared herself "flower girl." And Tommy was standing behind his brother looking every inch a little kid with his huge grin and the rings.

And Kurt ... Kurt had the most ridiculous grin on his face that had America elbowing Kate in the ribs with a pointed look as he welcomed the small gathered group with a smile that just… kept… widening.

Kate stared at the look for a long moment, the gears in her head starting to turn, and she was so lost in worrying her bottom lip that she didn't notice Logan come up behind her.

"Relax, Katie," he rumbled in her ear very quietly. "He just loves to see people happy. It's not a _threat_."

Kate made a scoffing noise at him, but her shoulders relaxed substantially while she watched Billy and Teddy absolutely _beaming_ at each other as Tommy zipped around to hold out the rings.

Teddy was grinning as it was clear Billy wasn't quite ready to even try and speak yet, and he shot a look over at their teammates. "So," he said with a little grin. "Someone explained to me what love is once, and I've remembered it ever since. It's a magical power someone else has over you for no reason. You can't justify it, but it cascades through your every cell. And that — that's what I feel right now with you."

Billy's eyes were shining as he struggled to say something until he finally got out, "I don't know what I'm doing." Teddy was already smirking at him, guessing where this was going. "I mean. I can cradle reality in my arms — and I don't know what I'm doing. All I've got… is this." He held up the ring. "So, that's one thing I'm doing right."

The little group burst into applause as Peter started snapping away with pictures, muttering about "moonlit kisses" being perfect as Kurt presented the new couple to their friends.

"And now — we eat," America said with a grin, clapping her hands together once Billy and Teddy both had pulled themselves back together as Noh pulled back one of the walls to let them into a table setup full of desserts and, of course, breakfast foods.

"Yes. Jubilee was explaining a tradition in which tapping on wine glasses yields kisses, and I do think we need to explore it," Noh agreed, with a decidedly more troublemaking kind of look than was usual for the Kree warrior.

As the group moved into the room, Kate hung back for just a second to watch, but that was all that Kurt needed to teleport right behind her, wrap his arm around her waist and land a gentle kiss at her ear. When Kate startled and then giggled, leaning back into Kurt, Billy took the opportunity to strike, waving his hand so that an entire load of America's flowers covered the two of them. "Consider that the bouquet," he told them, grinning.

Kate shook a few flowers out of her hair and shot Billy a _look_ that had Teddy cracking up laughing. "Don't fight it so hard, Kate," he teased, and she stuck her tongue out at him as both she and Kurt flushed a little, though Kurt was still grinning as he continued to kiss her behind her ear, not nearly as pink as Kate was over the whole thing.

While most of the guests were grinning and clapping at America's flower shower, K was giving Kate a very sympathetic look that at the very least read that she simply didn't find the humor in it, and Kate met her gaze for a moment and tried to arrange her expression in the most grateful way she could.

"Bet they smell like brimstone," Billy called out in that moment, and Kate flushed even deeper — and Kurt finally joined her when she mumbled something unintelligible that only confirmed to everyone there that, yes, that was exactly what Kate smelled when she had a handful of America's flowers.

Kate was still slightly red-faced as she was trying to come up with something biting that would be appropriate to yell at a _groom_ on his wedding day when the proximity alarms went off and Teddy let out an enormous sigh.

"Yep. That's my family. Coming to call," he said, not even bothering to follow Noh as the Kree fighter went to confirm just that.

"Just a little too late though," Logan said with a little smirk as he pulled at his tie.

Noh rushed to the controls and swung the ship around to face the incoming Skrull ships. "It looks like they've sent plenty," he said with a sigh. "I think we should land somewhere and choose the battlefield rather than risk being shot out of the sky. I am only one ship, and no matter how good of a pilot I am, I'd rather not risk the newlyweds." He shot a smirk over his shoulder as he added, "Though I can outfly Skrulls any day, just for the record."

"Of course you can," Jubilee said affectionately as she wrapped one arm briefly around his shoulders and then left him to his piloting. Already, the guests were getting ready for a fight — with jewelry, ties, and jackets being put aside in favor of swords, bows, and claws — and Jubilee tore off her own shoes and popped a piece of gum in her mouth.

Noh piloted them expertly to the ground toward a clearing where they could work without getting any civilians in harm's way — a patch of prairie land that didn't have a soul in sight, which Tommy was grinning at as he jumped from foot to foot. "Finally. Stuff to blow up," he said to Noh, who was grinning almost as broadly.

As soon as the first of the Skrull ships landed, the wedding guests sprang into action. Tommy zipped over to one ship, put both his hands on it, and started to send deep vibrations through the whole thing so that it was coming apart at the seams, falling on the Skrulls who hadn't poured out yet. The ones that had were quickly met either by shots from Noh and Kate or by K and Logan, who both seemed to be of the mindset that all Skrull heads should be separated from their bodies.

More Skrull ships touched down, and America had planted herself firmly in between Billy and just about everybody, since the Skrulls were particularly mad at him. Billy could hold his own just fine and was firing spells off left and right — including a few new ones that Strange had definitely taught him — but America was _mean_ about people who came after the Demiurge.

She grabbed one of the Skrulls by the scruff of his neck and stuck her nose in his face to shout a string of angry-sounding Spanish before she used him as a blunt instrument to tear through another four. When she finally tossed her makeshift club aside, she was well-splattered and glaring. "Try and ruin a wedding. Creeps."

Kurt, meanwhile, was a sight to see with three blades and surrounded by little bamfs, none of whom had wanted to take off their little red bow ties — except for the one who was wearing it around his tail like a battle flag. That one was riding on Jubilee's shoulder as she put plasmoids through ships and grinned at Teddy as one of the Skrull ships exploded with color like fireworks.

"For the wedding," she teased, and he grinned wider.

There was a slight rumble of engines, and to the group's surprise, one of the Skrull ships that Tommy and Jubes hadn't gotten to yet rose up off the ground — and began to start firing on the others. Tommy let out a whoop and a holler as he grinned up at the ship with two thumbs up. "Yeah, David!" he called out to his best friend as the quietest Young Avenger got involved.

"You know, that's not a bad idea," Kate said, shooting a grin Noh's way as he tipped his head at her, nodded, and gave her a boost with both hands, flinging her in the right direction to _play_..

"Shoot them down," he called out to her as she jumped into his ship and started up the Kirby engines, grinning to herself as she revved up the energy weapons and started blasting away.

Noh just beamed up at his ship before he jumped down from the ruins of a Skrull ship to land beside K. "You are doing wonderfully!" he called out to the green-splattered girl. "I knew you would be a natural at this."

"Great coaching," K replied as she delivered a strike that split another head from its owners' shoulders.

Noh grinned her way but didn't say anything further — as something else had caught his attention. Most of the ships that the Skrulls had come in were already grounded with no hope of taking off, but Noh had spotted a problem through one of the windows of the biggest ship as the commander on deck was clearly trying to signal for back up.

"Well, that cannot stand," he muttered to himself as he looked around for a way to get to the ship.

"What's the problem, kid?" Logan asked, still slashing and stabbing.

"Their commander is calling for backup," Noh said, gesturing at the offending ship. "Now, I am not opposed to fighting Skrulls all day, but our friends have celebrations to attend."

Logan paused to look at the distance and let out a little breath. "You know where their radios are housed?"

"Of course," Noh said with a bit of a scoff. "I am not a rank amateur when it comes to fighting Skrulls."

Logan shook off a few thick splatters of congealing blood and looked up at him. "Well, you got good aim? I know you got a throwing arm."

"I've yet to miss a target when it mattered."

"Well — gimmie a lift," Logan said, already turning toward the ship in question. "I'll slice through the damn thing."

Noh looked surprised for a moment before he just nodded and picked Logan up to throw him right for the ship, with precise aim and some serious power behind the throw.

Logan cut through right where Noh was aiming and a few short moments later, the ship emptied what manpower was left as he sliced through literally everything in his path on the way out — comms, power source, soldiers, anything.

"He's gotta take all the fun," K mumbled.

"I can do the same for you if you like," Noh offered with a smile. "I rather enjoyed that."

"Maybe when I'm in something that isn't already half falling apart," she replied, gesturing to what was left of her soft dress. "I'm sure we'd both have to listen to it otherwise."

Noh grinned. "Suit yourself."

"You know, you could just spin me," she told him.

"That I could," he said with a grin. "But you are having such fun."

"Suit yourself," she shot back with a laugh before going right back into the fight.

With the ship calling for backup disabled, and with David and Kate giving the group of them aerial support, it wasn't long before the Skrulls were down to a much more manageable wave instead of the swarming mass that had started the post-wedding fight.

Tommy was having a blast — literally and figuratively — as he blew his way through Skrulls and ships alike, though he was obviously getting tired out, as the jokes weren't coming in as quick — which America, for one, seemed to be relieved over.

"You need a breather?" she teased him as she pulled part of a Skrull ship off to use as a club on several Skrulls at once.

"Oh, just give me a dozen burgers and I'll be set," he replied with a grin. He looked up past her shoulder and frowned for just a moment before he sent a shockwave that knocked three Skrulls out of the air that had been flying toward Billy. "Hands off the brother," he half-growled.

On the other side of the fight, between K and Noh, it seemed like half the Skrull forces were engaged — and when Logan rejoined them, it was a good deal more than that, too. Logan and K were cutting through Skrulls left and right, and Noh seemed to be in his element, blasting through anyone in his path with a wide grin and several unnecessary flips that ended with smiles in Jubilee's direction.

K and Logan were again back to back and making a pretty impressive mess between the two of them, both of them smiling as they doled out the damage and covered each other's backs. The little group of them likely could have gone on forever — but they simply ran out of Skrulls as a good handful of them simply turned tail and ran when it became clear that the little group of X-Men and Young Avengers weren't even considering leniency — and their prince was already married anyway.

Soon, they found themselves standing alone with no one to fight, and half covered in Skrull blood and dirt. "Best Valentines Ever," K laughed as Logan pulled her over for a quick kiss.

"Let's not do it every year," Kate laughed as she tumbled out of Noh's ship, grinning ear to ear. "Unless these two are planning on bringing Skrulls to anniversary parties," she added, smirking at Billy and Teddy.

"Yeah, that's okay. We'll pass," Billy said as he magicked the dirt and grime and blood off of his suit and then Teddy's.

"So, are we going to party now?" Jubilee asked, still looking pristine as she popped one big, pink bubble. "Because I could so use some sugar."

Noh sped over to where she was and swept her up to kiss her. "Yes, you could," he told her with a teasing grin.

"Reading my mind," Jubilee said. "Cheater."

"I can only control minds. I cannot read them," he replied as he gave her another kiss. "That I leave to you."

" _Ugh_ so many couples. Too much _seriousness_ ," Tommy complained loudly, even though he was grinning. He zipped over to drape his arms over Billy and Teddy's shoulders, getting them dirty again as he grinned. "Food, guys. I'm starving. Let's get back to the ship, yeah? Unless you want to find a local bar and scare the heck outta some locals looking like a zombie movie cast?"

"We do have plenty of food left to eat," Billy said with a slow grin.

"And champagne to drink," Teddy agreed.

America just smirked at the group of them and stalked off toward the ship. "You guys talk too much. Let's _eat_."


	16. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a lot of sugar and so much teasing that it reduces poor Rachel Summers to tears just *listening* to Logan and K take the mickey out of everyone.

 

* * *

After the big wedding send off for Billy and Teddy, everyone in the wedding party changed into something less torn up and bloody. There was still enough time in the day for more Valentine's Day plans, and Kate had one last stop she wanted to make before they went back to the mansion for Storm's big party.

She had Noh drop her off at Clint's apartment building — _after_ he had dropped off K and everyone else, so she didn't have to endure the jokes about Clint being her "friend with benefits" — and slipped down to his place from the roof, knocking on the door this time instead of just letting herself in, just in case he was busy. It _was_ Valentine's, after all.

When he came to the door, Kate was surprised to see that he had his sleeves rolled up and—

"Clint. Are you vacuuming your couch?" She stared past his shoulder at the apartment, which was in a state somewhere between clean and in-the-process.

"Um… yes," Clint said with a sheepish sort of grin before he waved her in. Lucky was curled up by the couch glaring at the vacuum like he was trying to figure out if it moved on its own, and Kate sat down on the newly cleaned cushions to ruffle his ears.

"What, you got bored? No _Dog Cops_ to catch up on?" she teased.

He just shrugged slightly and sat down beside her. "So, what're you even _doing_ here, Katie? Thought you'd be off in, like, the Alps somewhere with your boyfriend."

"Actually, I was going to a friend's wedding," Kate said. "Maybe you know them? Billy and Teddy?"

Clint broke into a huge grin. "I was wondering if they'd just _go_ ," he said, leaning back with his feet up on the coffee table. "Steve's been trying to coach them on _diplomacy_ with the whole Skrull thing, but that — that's a stupid idea."

She nodded her agreement and looked around the apartment for a while. There were no empty pizza boxes… no stray arrows… "Clint, did you hire a maid?"

"Uh, no." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I sorta… you know. I was just trying to take care of my own crap. I'm a grown man. We do that sometimes. The responsible thing."

She snorted and shook her head at him. "What's up with you?" she asked him outright.

He held her gaze for a second. "Don't worry about it, Kate."

But _that_ kind of answer just had her all kinds of riled up. She glared and stuck her finger in his face. "You only say stuff like that so you don't have to answer me," she pointed out.

"Well, yeah. I told you I'd never lie to you."

"You're an idiot."

He just nodded his agreement with that same sheepish grin. "Yeah, I am."

She rolled her eyes and reached over to smack him lightly in the arm. "Tell me what's going on with you, Clint. What, did you find someone? You dating a neat freak who can't stand your place?" she teased. "What?"

He let out a sigh and took his feet off the coffee table, hands clasped in front of him. "Yeah… okay," he said at last. "So ... you know Jess is due in a few weeks, right?"

Kate watched him carefully with her head tipped to one side. "Yeah, I went to her shower last week. There were _so_ many glitter jokes when I got back."

Clint chuckled and shook his head at her before he went back to staring at his hands. "I think… I think he's mine, Katie. I did the math, and I mean… it fits. She'd have known about the time she broke up with me."

Kate stared at him for a moment, her mouth slightly open. She had her suspicions — everyone did. They weren't blind. Or stupid. But watching the way he hit rock bottom after the breakup, she thought he'd suspected as well. Or maybe he was in denial. But watching his whole expression fall like that... "Clint…"

He shrugged. "I mean, can't really blame her. I'm not cut out for… you know. I'm not like Barney. Wife and kids and a house on an island, all that stuff."

Kate watched him for another long, long moment and then let out a sigh and threw her arms around his neck to pull him into a hug. "You're an idiot," she told him.

"You already told me that."

"That's not—" She rolled her eyes. "Clint, you… you'd be _so_ good with a little baby spider-guy." She hugged him tighter around the shoulders. "You would. You'd be awesome at it, you idiot."

He shrugged her off. "Yeah, well, just trying to prove I can get my crap together first. She won't… you know. She won't even say it's mine. So how'm I supposed to be a dad if she won't let me in his life?"

Kate tipped her head at the vacuum cleaner. "Well, you're off to a good start. At least she knows she can bring him by without him coming back with, like, polio or something."

"She hasn't really stopped by."

"She will eventually. I mean — we'll throw a party or something. Invite her and Nat and some others to hot dogs on the roof."

He laughed quietly. "Thanks for the offer, Katie, but I can handle my own—"

She smacked him in the arm, harder this time. "Clint, you'd be the _best dad_. Do I need to get out the pictures from when I was four? Because I will. And you know I hate those things."

He smirked her way. "You were a very cute kid," he said. "You should've seen the look on your face when I gave you a bow."

"See? Great dad. Came with presents you thought I'd like. Thoughtful, personalized — great dad." She patted him on the shoulder. "Jess'll come around. I mean, at least enough that she's gotta let you see him. Play with him. She'll love it when you start playing peek-a-boo. Just you wait."

"Yeah, we'll see," he said, then shrugged up to his ears and let out a breath. "Anyway ... I bet you didn't come by to hear about my paternity test drama," he said, going for a teasing grin. "What's on your mind, Katie Kate?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Well, you're all by yourself, and it's _Valentine's Day_. I just didn't want you alone." She gestured around the room. "I mean. I was expecting cheap beer, not… Windex."

He grinned ruefully. "I might have maybe looked up some cleaning videos online."

She laughed at him outright. "Okay. That — I'm going to have to buy you some carpet cleaner or something, because the last thing you need is homemade nonsense poisoning your stupid self." She stood up and pulled him to his feet. "But first — first, there is chocolate back at the mansion, and you need some. Clearly."

He tipped his head at the kitchen counter. "Nat sent me some from Russia."

"That…" She paused and had to laugh. "That was actually really thoughtful of her. But that's so not what I meant. Come on. Just get in the purple car with the nice Hawkeye before you pass out from cleaning fumes."

He gave her a look, but he allowed her to drag him along. "Take care of the place, Lucky. Don't let that monster vacuum out of your sight," he called over his shoulder to Lucky, who just picked his head up and wagged his tail.

When Kate and Clint drove up to the mansion, Annie met them at the garage with a cupcake in each hand that she insisted both of them had to have. "Fresh out of the oven. I heard your car," she explained with a grin.

"Not stress baked are they?" Kate asked with a teasing smile.

"No, no," Annie assured her, laughing. "I always make cupcakes on Valentine's Day. Ever since I was five. We used to help Mom make them, and now it's just tradition."

"See, if you'd told me there were cupcakes, I would've come sooner," Clint laughed.

"Oh, I always make too much anyway," Annie assured him. "You should come by around Easter. My dad has the best deviled eggs recipe, and I always love playing with the chocolate molds."

Clint grinned even wider. "Kate — how the heck do you guys keep from turning into balloons around here?"

"Lots and lots of training in the Danger Room. Gotta work off Annie's cooking," Kate said, grinning at Annie.

Annie just laughed as the three of them made their way further into the mansion. "You two go join the party. I'm still icing, but I'll be there in a bit," she told them.

The two Hawkeyes grinned at each other as they finished off their cupcakes and got to the main ballroom, where Storm had decorated the whole place in reds, pinks, and whites. Almost as soon as they arrived, one of the bamfs teleported over to Kate with one of the paper heart decorations and a huge grin. "Bamf," the little guy said, and Kate laughed and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

"And here I thought the taller one was your Valentine," Clint laughed, and Kate stuck her tongue out at him.

"They're sweet."

"They're demons."

She rolled her eyes and pulled him along to her usual group of friends — those that had been at the wedding, sans the grooms. "You'll never believe where I found this one," Kate said to Logan with a troublemaking grin. "Knee-deep in _cleaning his apartment_."

"You finally snap and decide to figure out where the hell that smell was coming from?" Logan teased.

Clint just grinned sheepishly. "Figured it was time I stopped living like a college dorm student," he said with a shrug.

"So no more keggers with Wade?" he asked with a smirk. "Just the two of you … _alone_."

"Yeah, it's a good thing I've got Lucky around to help fight him off when he gets too drunk," Clint said easily.

"Where's Nat?" Logan asked.

"Russia. Been there a few weeks, undercover, something about some secret spy stuff, I dunno," Clint said, shrugging.

"Couple'a somethings," Logan told him. "She shouldn't be too much longer though. Thought for sure she'd be back by now. Must be gettin' slow in her advancing years."

"I.. don't even want to know how you know that," Clint laughed. "She probably came over to snuggle you and tell you." He paused, chuckled, and added, "And you're lucky she missed that crack or she'd hit you on _your_ age, old man."

Logan chuckled at that. "Nah, got a call about a week ago. She wanted to check in," he said with an easy smirk. "She likes to do that."

"She sent Clint chocolates," Kate said with a grin and a troublemaking spark in her eyes. "To _check in_ for Valentine's."

"Does that surprise you for some reason, Hawkeye?" Logan asked over the rim of his glass, clearly looking for trouble.

Kate looked between the two men with a growing smirk. "I always figured she was more of a Vodka type. You know. For Valentines fun."

"Only if she's there to drink it," Clint laughed. Logan tipped his head Kate's way at that but didn't offer any further commentary on the matter as he turned his attention elsewhere.

"You kids have fun, I have things to do ... Kate, try to keep him out of trouble for ten minutes, wouldja? Pretty sure Henry doesn't wanna spend the night wrappin' him up like a mummy." Logan asked before he headed off, away from the crowd.

"That _is_ my job description," Kate said with a laugh as she picked up one of Annie's cupcakes and handed it to Clint. She picked up a second one and slipped over to where Kurt was to wrap her arms around him from behind and then hold up the cupcake to his eye level. "For you."

"You're trying to put me into a sugar coma," Kurt accused. "Annie has been trying to force feed everyone more chocolate."

"She says it's a _tradition_ ," Kate said, grinning. "Besides…. _Bonbons für das süße._ "

"Speaking from experience?" he asked.

"Well, I _am_ made of sugar and spice," she teased.

"And you are certainly nice," Kurt said before he pulled her closer for a kiss. "How is Clint today?"

"Not very… Clint-like," Kate said. "Or very Clint-like, depending on how you look at it."

"If he needs to be picked on, I'm sure that K could be persuaded — if she acknowledges his existence." He tipped his head to the side. "And if she hasn't decided to disappear. Again."

"Well, if she disappears with _Logan_ , that's different," Kate teased. "That's encouraged on this particular holiday. Or so I've heard."

"Not according to Annie," Kurt said. "She was trying to give her some chocolate, and when Annie turned her head to talk to Scott, she just disappeared on her. Cupcake evasion level: expert."

Kate laughed and stood on her toes to kiss him before she took a bite out of the cupcake he was holding. "Why would anyone avoid the sweetest woman on the planet? She's, like, made of everything pure."

Kurt let out a sigh and searched the room until he spotted his friend across the way with K. "Because Jubilee has recruited her," he told her very softly.

"Oooh." Kate nodded in understanding. "Alright. Yes. Scary cupcake lady." She grinned and took another bite of cupcake. "But I'm still eating her cooking."

"Well you might want to try to talk some sense into her — I think she's suspicious of Logan."

"It's not _him_ she should be suspicious of," Kate chuckled, shaking her head before she pulled Kurt into a longer and more involved kiss.

"Will you dance with me later?" Kurt asked with a glimmer of trouble in his eyes.

"I've always got time for a dance with you," she replied, pulling her arms a bit tighter around him.

* * *

Meanwhile, Rachel Summers had come to join K in her hiding — and had even offered to help with the avoidance in her own sort of way, hiding them in plain view with a psychic trick that had everyone looking past them.

"Have I told you you're my favorite Summers?" K said quietly as Rachel diverted Bobby from walking square into them.

Rachel smirked. "It usually takes people at least ten minutes to decide that. I must be on a roll."

"Well, you haven't hauled me off over your shoulder lately? And I'm a little salty still," K replied. "I didn't take him for the caveman type when he didn't get his way."

Rachel chuckled at that and shook her head. "He's… trying new things, apparently," she said, her gaze toward Scott and Annie.

"Yeah, how are things with the step-mom? Or is she a step-monster? I'm not sure yet." K scrunched up her nose. "All this sugar. For God's sake, she's gotta go through a cup a day just with that awful tea."

"She's fine," Rachel said with a shrug. "I haven't really spent much time with her. She's nice to me when we do talk, I guess."

"She's good to him," K said, not looking Rachel's way. "So … what has _you_ on the fence still? Outside of the accent, that is. And all the … chipperness." She waved her hand as if it was obvious that was the problem.

"She's just… _so_ not my mom," Rachel said as she brushed a hand through her hair. "She's nothing like Emma either, which I'm _not_ complaining about, but…"

"Well, that's good then," K opined. "That means he doesn't have a 'type', right?"

"I guess so," Rachel said with a light shrug. Then, she broke into a light laugh. "It's fine, really. She just takes a _lot_ of getting used to. She has _zero_ psychic defense training, and all she projects is sunshine and excitement. It's kind of exhausting if you're not prepared for it."

"I _so_ do not envy your power set," K said dryly as she raised her glass to her lips.

"It has its perks though," Rachel laughed as she redirected Jubilee and Noh. "So why are _you_ hiding from the overly-friendly sorta-step-mom?"

"She's in cahoots with Jubilee. And also trying to make me fat." K looked up at Rachel. "They are not subtle."

"And you have good reasons to avoid getting tangled up with them," Rachel said. She paused and held up one hand. "I'm not prying — but you hit that panic hard enough that even if you're not projecting the details, I know the basics. There's a lot of … shouting when Annie or Jubilee approaches."

"From me or from them?" K asked. "Because I thought I had a pretty fair handle."

"They're shouting pretty loud, but the 'nope' from you…" Rachel said with a little teasing sparkle in her eyes.

"Is often audible for even non-psychics, I'm sure," K said with a nod and a smile. "I'll work on that. It's kneejerk."

"I know; I heard," Rachel laughed.

"Like I said, I'll work on it. Would you prefer a 'help, Rachel!'?" K asked with a smirk. "Because I can do that. Or you know. Whatever colorful idioms pop into my head."

"Only if you change it up every time," Rachel teased. "I'd be interested to see how many you have."

"I'll try to stop all together, but … now I wanna just go through them," K admitted with a grin. "Little game for you and me."

"Alright, knock it off you two," Logan said from just next to Rachel suddenly. "I know what you're doing, and I know you're there. So just stop."

"Oh, go away, you're going to draw attention," Rachel laughed.

"Yeah, the big psychic dead spot won't draw any attention at all, come on, Rach."

"Hey, so far only Jubilee has noticed, and she's too wrapped up with her alien boyfriend to care," Rachel defended.

Logan let out a sigh. "So I need to send her over before you knock it off? Annie was looking for you — I'm sure you're well aware."

"Gee, news to me," she said straightfaced.

"If you're not gonna stop, then let me in," he replied reasonably.

"Oh, I was thinking of stopping at some point to eat dinner, but…" Rachel laughed, and a moment later, no one could focus on Logan, either.

* * *

Not far from the psychic dead zone, Annie _had_ managed to get to Kate and Kurt — not that Kate was trying that hard to avoid her, since there was chocolate involved, and when the other Hawkeye in the house made his way over, both Kate and Kurt had red velvet cupcakes with chocolate icing as they chatted quietly _near_ the corner, but not in it, since that's where Rachel and her group were hiding.

"So, Kurt, does she just hand you Annie's sweets so she can say she's eating yours instead of getting more for herself?" Clint asked as he made his way over. "She does that with pizza when she comes over to my place. Says she brought me food and then eats it all."

"She shares well, I don't know what you're talking about," Kurt said with a laugh.

"Must just be me then," Clint said with an easy shrug. He grinned over at Kurt. "Heard you officiated a wedding today. Up in space."

* * *

Nearby, Rachel was trying so hard not to laugh outright — something _that_ obvious wouldn't keep them hidden if anyone was smart enough to pay attention. But it was so hard not to when she had such a good source of entertainment with Logan and K making commentary — and the Hawkeyes were just perfect for sarcastic comments, apparently.

"If I stab him, will he know where it came from?" K whispered to Rachel. "Ghost stab?"

"I think he'll notice you — this is just… keeping people from looking too hard. He'd look pretty hard then," Rachel whispered back, still trying to keep it together.

* * *

"I did," Kurt beamed, obviously still in the glow of officiating Billy and Teddy's wedding. "It was beautiful."

"Well that's gonna be hard to top next year," Clint laughed.

"Oh, have you two set a date then?" Kurt countered quickly.

"Me and what girl?" Clint asked, shaking his head without his usual humor.

* * *

Rachel was smirking so hard. She could _hear_ the groaning Logan was doing mentally before he even got around to doing it out loud, it was that much of a groan.

"He can't possibly be this stupid," Logan said under his breath, which only got K to cover her mouth with one hand.

"I can confirm it — he really doesn't have a clue," Rachel whispered to him, one hand on her stomach as it was hurting from trying not to laugh for so long.

Logan just gave her a look that was so clearly frustration and disbelief. "What does he need — a freakin' purple neon sign?"

"I'll help you find one," she offered, still laughing.

But Logan was shaking his head again. "No. He can't _possibly_ be that stupid. She'd never waste her time if he was."

"It's not stupidity as much as it's really low self-esteem," Rachel offered. "Doesn't think he's on her level, apparently."

"He's not. But it's still stupid," Logan countered.

* * *

"Do you really want me to bust you out like that?" Kurt asked with his head tipped to the side, unknowingly on the same side as his best friend a few feet away.

"Got nothing to bust out," Clint pointed out. "Seeing as Jess and I broke up, Bobbi and I divorced — who the heck do you think I haven't screwed up yet?"

Kurt just grinned widely before he turned to Kate. "He's very nearly as deeply in denial as K is."

"Well, he doesn't have as many years on him as K does," Kate said, smirking.

* * *

Rachel was in stitches, and losing her grip on the whole thing, as she heard K's mental projection of _Do NOT deflect onto me for his benefit_ — _TRAITOR._

 _Shhhh. I need to concentrate,_ Rachel projected to her, both hands around her middle as her sides ached.

 _Oh, I am so getting her back,_ K swore, eyes narrowed as she glared unseen at the little group.

* * *

"It's still impressive," Kurt said as he shook his head before he turned back to Clint. "Are you sitting with us then?"

"Unless you two are going to be _occupied_ , sure," Clint said with a wide grin. "Katie's the one who dragged me here anyway."

"Well, then you should be with us for sure," Kurt said. "A bit apart from the younger crowd."

"Hey, I heard about that on the news. Taking my Katie away from her own age group." Clint tutted and shook his head at Kurt. "Shameful, Nightcrawler."

"It's in my nature I suppose," Kurt laughed as he gestured to the table. "But really — you should join us. Annie went all out again."

"You're gonna have to start telling me when it's her turn to cook," Clint told Kate. "I think I'm jealous."

"You should be. Her family has some _killer_ recipes."

"There are other good cooks too — you should just come by more often as a general rule," Kurt suggested. "It's my understanding that Scott was hoping that Natasha would spend a bit more time here too."

"Well, she should be back from Russia soon," Clint said with a shrug. He looked over at Kate with a small smile. "Maybe I'll spend some time here for the next little while, seeing as two of my teammates are gone for a few weeks staying in the _glow_."

"Noh leant them his ship. It's a honeymoon in the stars," Kate said, grinning.

"Already planning for your own?" Clint asked, looking past Kate to Kurt. "You gonna make an honest Hawkeye outta my Katie?"

Kurt just laughed at him. "We have at least one that needs to be dealt with long before that's a consideration."

"Yeah, I heard about Jubilee and Noh-Varr. They getting married in space too? You might have started a trend," Clint laughed.

"Ooh, they should," Kate said with a little grin and a bounce. "There's a really great moon where the plants open up at night and _sparkle_. Totally a Jubes thing."

"That sounds right up her alley," Kurt agreed as Logan stepped up behind Clint and cracked him upside the back of his head with a little smirk, seemingly appearing out of nowhere with K and Rachel.

"You're not trying to stir up more trouble are you?" Logan asked as K just barely held back the full wicked smirk that meant trouble for anyone in her sights.

Clint put his hand over his heart. "Hey. For once? Not trying anything except eating cupcakes and apparently getting hit in the head."

"He's just checking to see if you're a Skrull," Kate teased. "I mean. Cleaning your room. What's next?"

"Oh, you know. Desk job and mortgage payments," Clint laughed.

Logan just gave him a little glare as he and K stood next to Kurt. "You guys done actin' like Kindergarteners, or does Annie need to come show you how to color in the lines again?"

"Did you bring enough purple crayons for Katie here? You know she breaks them when she tries to color and gets overexcited."

"It's true," Logan agreed. "Not sure why — but it is true."

"Clint just eats the glue," Kate said, shaking her head at them.

"Aww, c'mon, Katie. Like there was even glue to eat in the circus," he countered. "We had more advanced things. Like bearded ladies and criminal masterminds."

At that K leaned over to Logan and whispered something that had him laughing out loud for a moment and had Rachel gasping as she tried and failed to sneak over to where Bobby and Remy were, but Logan just shook his head at the look he got from Kurt. "Private joke. Like why he's talking about eating bearded ladies."

Rachel looked like she was _dying_ as she just dropped into the nearest chair, not seeming to care where it was situated as she gasped for breath from laughing.

"I think you broke the redhead," Clint said Logan's way.

"It's a hobby," Logan deadpanned.

Kate shook her head at Clint and just smacked him in the arm. "Just ... eat Annie's nice, home-cooked meal, Clint."

A few moments later, there were several purplish-blue poofs across the table as bamfs appeared, each holding different trays of food or dressings, and Annie came out shortly after that with the main dish, grinning as she looked over their work.

"What do you know — you little guys did a good job," she said as one of the bamfs gave her a double thumbs up.

"Woah, hey, she's got the demons trained now?" Clint asked, leaning over to look at Kate and Kurt.

"There's hope for you yet," K said quietly as she and Logan headed past, both of them doing the weird smooth movements thing that had a tendency to unnerve Clint.

Kate glanced at K and just laughed before she shrugged at Clint. "They keep getting kicked out of the kitchen when Annie's running things. She finally snapped and told them they could _only_ stay if they helped — and if they do a good job, they get to lick the bowl and the mixer spoons when she's done making chocolate things."

"So she's got them trained."

Kate rolled her eyes. "They're sucking up to her."

"You're just jealous because your kids're following Annie around."

"Naw, I'm still their favorite," Kate said, shaking her head and laughing.

"I think they still like the big, tall, blue one that looks just like them? But you know. I may not know what I'm talking about," Clint said easily as he reached for the rolls.

"He's my favorite too," Kate agreed, leaning over to kiss Kurt on the cheek — and he responded by pulling her into something a little longer.

"Can you guys make it through a meal without trying to suck face for two minutes, please?" Bobby said with a look. "All these couples are starting to get on my nerves."

Kate looked over at Bobby, grinned, and just held his gaze as she very carefully leaned over and started to kiss along the side of Kurt's ear.

"This … this is why everyone is expecting you two to get married next," Peter said with a shake of his head.

Annie grinned with delight. "I'm sure we could find a _beautiful_ venue if we put our heads together," she offered.

"Thanks for the offer, but I think we're good here," Kate said, trying to play it off.

"I'm sure if it's ever an issue, you'll be her first call, right Kate?" Logan said with a little smirk.

"Yeah," Kate said, waving her hand.

"There's no time for that anyhow," Kurt added, waving one hand as he came to Kate's defense before she could get too worked up about the teasing — as she was prone to do. "Too much to be done with her company for starters — and taking care of Clint is another full-time job."

"Hey, I don't need taking care of," Clint said, shaking his head.

K turned her head to look at him more clearly before she raised a finger. "Seven. You have seven bandages. Clearly, you need someone to help you."

Clint looked surprised for a moment before he just shrugged and gave her a sheepish sort of smile. "Yeah, well, you run with gods and super soldiers, and you end up getting beat up like gods and super soldiers."

"Only if you're not smart enough to avoid the hits," K pointed out.

"I never said I was smart. Just that I can take care of myself."

She reached over and patted his knee. "Come by tomorrow. We'll go down to the Danger Room and I'll teach you about something they call 'dodging'."

"I… can't even tell if you're serious right now," Clint said with a nervous grin. "I can dodge. Just — tracksuits like to spring up on me when I've still got a concussion from Avengers stuff. You know. Wait outside the hospital. Boom — dumpster. It's like a tradition."

K just smirked at him and shook her head as Logan chuckled. "All the more reason you should be ready for it then," Logan said. "Since it happens like that every time."

"Actually, Clint taught me a lot about fighting," Kate said helpfully as she came to her old mentor's defense. She grinned at Clint. "You should see him fight Hydra. I mean. You should see him fight _supervillains_. It's the low-level guys that trip him up. For some reason."

"Tomorrow," K said. "Let's set him up." Rachel nearly choked on her drink and looked away, and Clint raised an eyebrow her way.

"Do I get a say in this? At all?" Clint asked.

"Your place or mine, blondie?" K asked. " _That's_ your choice."

"Um. Yours. Mine is in the process of being deep-cleaned," he said seriously. "And if you're going to kill me, at least don't do it in front of the dog," he added with a small smirk.

"I did like the dog," she said with a little nod.

"We'll set you up in the Danger Room," Kate told him, then tipped her head at K. "I think you might actually be surprised. He's good. No joke — he taught me a lot."

K just smirked up at her and didn't argue or pick until Logan very quietly told her to be nice, though that only got K to kiss him with the intention of getting _him_ to back off of her.

Clint just shrugged at her openly before he went back to his food, and in the lull of the conversation, they could hear Annie talking with Noh.

"Oh, you'll love it," she was telling him. "Some people do rice throwing, but I've seen bubbles… you would probably like sparklers. I've seen that too." As she spoke, she had half an eye further down the table toward Kate and K.

"It seemed to me when they threw rice at your wedding that it was quite the effort to clean," Noh said mildly. "I'm still not sure I understand why you need to throw food at a couple."

"I know. We have some pretty strange traditions here on Earth, I'm sure," Annie said, smiling widely at him. "I think it's darling that you want to learn for her."

"I always want to learn more about Earth," Noh said earnestly. "I've been here for years and still I don't think I've learned everything."

"Well, you did spend, like, three of those _just_ listening to Earth music," Kate pointed out with a smirk, jumping into the conversation because she just _couldn't_ resist the chance to tease her old teammate. "Didn't do much except parties and space travel."

"Oh, but I learn so much seeing other people having fun," Noh said. "No matter where I go on your world, there is music. I don't see your point."

"Fair enough," Kate said, nodding.

But Annie was determined to stay on track. "Do you have any songs picked out for the wedding? You should have one for your first dance at least."

"Oh, I've already picked out the songs we'll need and asked my good friend David to DJ for us," Noh told her, breaking into a huge grin as his _favorite_ Earth-related topic came up. "I'd like to dance to the Ronettes especially, but then, I'm a big fan of Nina Simone as well."

"You have good tastes," Annie said, grinning.

"I have an extensive record collection," Noh said with a wide smile. "Jubilee keeps finding me delightful things as well."

"Kate, you can walk down with ' _Sympathy for the Devil'_ ," K said, somehow managing to keep a perfectly straight face.

Clint snorted into his plate at the look on Kate's face — which was open-mouthed shock and slight betrayal at _K_ of all people throwing her under that bus.

"Oh, I always thought it would be ' _Waiting on a Woman_ ,'" Noh said with a smirk as Kate seemed to fall into even more disbelief.

"That's a good one," K said still keeping the straight face even though Rachel was to the point of near tears a few seats down. "But I think the Rolling Stones have it."

"I do like them," Noh agreed, grinning.

"Look, this — this is _your_ record collection. Your wedding," Kate all but spluttered. "Stop picking out songs for me, unless you're looking for a song for the maid of honor or flower girl or whatever the heck you want me to be."

"Just a joke, sweetie," K said with a little laugh. "You're not the only one diametrically opposed to this bullshit."

"I can't decide what my favorite part of that sentence was," Clint chortled.

"Probably the big words you didn't know. I'll write them down for you to look up later," K told him.

"Oh good. I need help with the spelling," Clint laughed.

"Besides, we've had our fill of weddings today, haven't we?" Kate said, shooting a glance at Noh and Jubilee before she grinned at Annie. "We went to an elopement this morning. You remember Wiccan and Hulkling, right?"

"Oh, those darling boys that came by when you were four?" Annie asked with a wide smile. "That's wonderful! But I thought they were planning a big celebration."

"Well, Teddy's people didn't really approve," Kate said mildly.

Annie tutted. "People can be so closed-minded."

"Well, it was more that Billy's from Earth. Teddy's half-Skrull," Kate explained, then looked to Noh. "Noh can tell you about that. He's the resident Skrull expert."

Annie turned to Noh with an expectant look, and Noh broke out into a huge grin. "Anything you'd like to know, Annie," he told her, as Kate tried valiantly not to grin too widely at how easily Noh was distracted from teasing her. "I have known how to fight them since the moment I emerged from my growth chamber."

As Annie was distracted by Noh, K and Kate shared a little glance — and Kate half glared at her and mouthed out 'traitor', which had Rachel just … completely in pieces laughing, her head on her folded arm on the table in tears.

Not that it helped Scott and Annie to see what it was that was so darned funny. But the look on the older Summers' faces got to Logan ... and K … and not long after, the rest of the group was in stitches along with Rachel, though they had no idea as to why.


	17. Moonlighting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kate asks K to be her bodyguard for her nationally-televised interview, and they run into Iron Man as he's doing a little press of his own. Hilarity and flirting immediately ensues.

 

* * *

The next morning at coffee, Kate slid into a seat next to K with a little grin. "Alright, backstabber, I have a proposal for you," she said brightly.

K hardly even glanced up. "What kind of proposal? It's not the one-kneed kind, is it? Because you're really not my type, and someone is in line ahead of you to hear 'no'."

Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Clint can't come to play with you in the Danger Room as planned — Avengers thing. Something about Von Doom. But I have a counterproposal for your afternoon entertainment."

"I'm listening, since — you know. No Big Hawk to pick on," K said, sounding very put out with an exaggerated sigh.

"How about you come with me to the studio? Wear something that looks less like you just got in off the range," Kate said, tipping her head at K. "I'd love a wing-woman when I go to mess with JJ this morning. He's all in knots over Volume Two of Charles Xavier's collected works. Predictably."

"Okay, I could probably do that," K agreed. "Especially since Logan and Scott are off …. Being boys. So ... am I just going as your buddy? Or…?"

"Secretary, my dear little traitor."

"Oh, role playing, awesome," K said with a laugh. "How uptight do I need to be, or is sassy a good thing in your organization?"

Kate chuckled. "We encourage sass," she said in her most businesslike tone. "I'll let you decide. Get a read on JJ and see if he needs sass or snoot."

"Hell, I can switch back and forth if need be," K told her with a shrug.

"Sounds perfect. Meet you in the garage in a little bit?" Kate gestured at her pajama bottoms. "Still gotta change into my power suit."

"Gimmie, like, 45 minutes for hair and makeup?" K said with her head tipped to the side as she refilled her cup.

"Awesome." Kate grinned at her and gave her a two-fingered salute. "I have to go rub it in JJ's face my stock's through the roof after the dying stunt."

"Well it wasn't a stunt," K said. "He spread that vicious rumor himself."

"And we have the nature documentary to prove it," Kate agreed.

The two women parted company — and just under an hour later they were both ready to go, looking like they belonged in high positions in Manhattan.

"I really should be thanking him," Kate said thoughtfully as she adjusted the radio in her car on the way to the studio. "I mean — he keeps me in the headlines. Sales are _great._ Cute little Kamala is paying off her tuition with this stuff."

"It'd probably piss him off more than anything else you could do," K reasoned. "A genuine thank you?"

"I know. I'm torn between throwing that in his face and laughing and just ... not. Because really, I don't want him to stop. Not when it's so _helpful_."

"I'd be more interested in busting him out on air as to why one day you were a deviant and the next it was such a tragic, avoidable loss."

"Oh, I was planning on saying how touched I was to hear him give my eulogy," Kate smirked, putting one hand over her heart. "Absolutely heart-rending."

"And you needed me for what exactly? Is this protection detail?" K asked with a smirk. "Seeing as pretty much everyone else is recognizable?"

Kate shrugged one shoulder up to her ear. "Maybe," she admitted. "Kurt and Scott both… said they'd feel better if I took someone with me when I stirred up trouble. You know. Seeing as someone tried to murder me."

"Yeah, don't drink or eat anything I don't hand you, alright?" K told her.

"Yeah, I got the rulebook," Kate smirked. "Don't open my own mail, use the buddy system…"

"Take the smallest, least-threatening team member with you that you can — for the element of surprise, apparently."

"They're a bit overprotective." Kate shrugged. "I've only had the few letters from the Church of Humanity, and most of those were aimed at Kurt," she said, though she was frowning hard. "Guess they weren't all that happy about my being still alive and a mutant-lover."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," K mumbled. "You have their addresses?"

"Not all of them had return addresses. But I've tracked a few of them anyway. Used to be a PI, you know."

"Cowards," she said dismissively. "Next time you get one, let me have it. Scott said I needed a hobby if I wasn't going to teach anything."

Kate snorted. "He also said don't kill anyone," she pointed out.

"Well, he can't have both, can he?"

Kate just shook her head at K. "Between you and Logan it's like — I don't even need to do my own thing. Gonna take care of all my problems _for_ me." She rolled her eyes. "Helicopter parents."

"We love you and want you to be happy," K said with an overly exaggerated grin.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks, Mom," Kate said, waving her hand at K.

"Don't forget to eat your vegetables, now, Princess."

"If I clear my plate, can I have second helpings at dessert?"

"Only if you share with the big blue demon; he needs it."

"Oh, he's not short on sugar," Kate said with a wide smirk. "I make pretty darn sure of that."

"Good, he's a nice one," K said with a nod before she just stared out of the window.

"We're pretty lucky," Kate agreed quietly after a moment, but neither of them seemed intent on picking the conversation back up after that as at last they arrived at the studio. And once they were there, they had their game faces on anyway, so conversation like that was scrapped.

The security at the studio was much tighter than what Kate was used to seeing, and she had to show her ID half a dozen times and explain that 'Kaylee' was her secretary another nine times when K wasn't on the list of who they were expecting. It had them both a little more on edge than before, wondering if this was just part of the response to Kate's attempted murder or if it was something else entirely.

But they finally figured out the reason for all the security after they got to the studio to see that Tony Stark was there for an appearance as well — it was a pretty busy news day — though it looked like he had already wrapped up his appearance and was just chatting with the group of admirers that seemed to materialize wherever he went.

"Hey, Tony," Kate said easily, tipping her head in greeting. "I like the tie. Looks new."

He turned around quickly and gave her one of his best grins. "Hey there, Hawkeye — what are you doing here today?" He made his way over to give her a quick little one-armed half hug and a peck on the cheek.

"Oh, you know, trying to get the next viral hit for our friendly neighborhood friend," she said with a wave of her hand.

"I saw that; the nature documentary was great," he said with a smirk. "So, should I stick around then — get the jump on the next viral video?"

"Depends on how purple JJ gets," Kate laughed. "But you're welcome to stay. You've brought plenty of security, and you know, there are rumors someone wants me dead." She said that last part in a low whisper.

"Yeah, yeah, that was pretty clear with how quick they picked that story up," Tony agreed. "So..." He looked around the studio in an exaggerated, wide-eyed manner. "Where's the blue smoky guy? Did you bring one of your housemates with you or whatever?"

"He's teaching at the school," Kate said with a little laugh. "I brought my secretary instead. This is Kaylee."

He looked K's way with a bit of a broader grin than what he'd given Kate. "Where do you get your secretaries, Hawkeye? Clearly your pool is… prettier than mine."

K just gave him a tight, polite smile as Kate fielded the question with a little laugh. "It helps when you don't go through them so quickly," Kate replied.

"Funny, Pepper said the same thing," Tony said airly, though his smile was unsinkable.

Kate rolled her eyes before she shook her head and jerked her thumb at the stage. "I've got to go talk to makeup people who have no idea what they're talking about before I turn JJ purple. But please — enjoy the show."

"Good luck, killer," Tony said with a troublemaking smile. "I'll be right here."

Kate waved him off and flounced over to the makeup crew, and it wasn't long at all before Tony turned toward the little brunette with a smirk. "So, how long have you been working for Miss Bishop?" he asked, stepping up a little bit closer.

"Long enough," K replied with a smirk of her own as she stepped toward where Kate had gone for makeup, just making sure to keep her in her line of sight. The crew was trying to get Kate to cooperate, but she was pretty insistent on keeping her look the way she had it — not darkening it up for the bright lights.

"What is your _official_ title, Kaylee? I only ask because she never mentioned having a secretary before."

"She's been swamped with all this … media nonsense," K replied with an easy shrug. "Really, I just sift through the scum for her. Throw out the worst stuff. Keep her hands clean." She looked up at him over her shoulder quickly with a little smile to try and keep it light, but apparently, he wasn't used to the polite brush off — since he took a few steps closer to her, pulled out his phone, and called her name.

When she turned around she heard the shutter on his phone click, she had to force herself to take a calm breath before she turned it around on him. "If you _wanted_ my picture, I'd have helped you get a decent shot if you'd asked."

"One more then," he said in a friendly tone as he gave her a pretty damn charming smile. She thought about it for just a moment then made a point to relax a bit and give him one of her best smiles. He seemed pleased with the results before he thanked her, and she spun on her heel to watch Kate as she headed over to the news desk finally.

"Want to give me a phone number to go with the picture?" Tony asked over her shoulder, but by that time, K'd already decided that he was just too much fun to say no to.

"Why would I do that?" she asked quietly with that friendly smile as the lights shifted and the interview started.

"Maybe just for the fun of it," he said, leaning in a touch more. "And … I did ask nicely."

"I think you've got enough phone numbers to pick from," K told him. "Thank you for the compliment — I think."

Tony watched her for a moment in disbelief as she side-stepped around him for a better view to watch the interview again, though she couldn't help but steal a glance his way and smirk.

" _I don't know what to tell you, JJ," Kate was saying on the set. "I mean, there I was doing my hero thing, and the next thing I know I'm hearing you deliver the most touching eulogy." Her eyes were sparkling as she leaned forward. "Honestly. I was touched. It was beautiful. I had no idea you cared so much."_

"You know, I'm always looking for new talent," Tony said quietly.

"I'll bet you are," K said with a laugh, smiling in spite of herself. It seemed the more she told him no, the more interested he was.

"Stark Tower has incredible security," he said conversationally. "I've never had an employee get caught in the crossfire of any Avengers related business. Are you sure you'd be safe with Bishop?"

K shook her head with an amused smirk. "Are you trying to scare me off of doing my job?" she asked as she turned to look up at him from less than a foot away.

"I'm trying to find a way to get you to come work for me," Tony replied. "I thought I'd appeal to keeping you safe and sound."

"I appreciate your concern, Mr. Stark, it's touching," K said with a grin, trouble dancing in her eyes. "But I think I'll be just fine with Hawkeye."

" _Then there's nothing to the rumors that you_ are _the one in those pictures?" JJ said, leveling his finger at Kate. "We're all glad it was only a near miss, but won't you tell us, Miss Bishop, is it time for an intervention? I've noticed we haven't seen a toxicology report for whatever did happen." JJ had on his best, most condescending expression. "It's not a shame to ask for help before you need such dramatic intervention, Miss Bishop. I'm sure it's overwhelming being thrust into this cutthroat business and moonlighting with these vigilantes. That's far more pressure than even the best of us in publishing faced."_

" _And I'm sure the public would be interested in why you were able to get pictures of me being tortured, JJ," Kate said, with quite a lot of heat to her voice as it was clear she was losing her composure. "Or didn't your investigative journalists tell you about the abduction?" She had her fists clenched as she glared at him. "If I didn't know better, I'd say someone wanted me gone. Publicly, even."_

" _Tell the truth, Miss Bishop_ — _something like this never happened to you before you were spending your time with those terrorists. Whatever you want to call that fiasco, you can't change the facts."_

" _Actually, JJ, nothing this bad happened before I was Public Publishing Enemy Number One, according to you and the people who are running with your vendetta," Kate said coolly, her teeth gritted. "Funny how once you inherit money, people come after you. I'm sure that doesn't happen to anybody else. Ever. In the history of money."_

" _If you're so concerned about safety, why spend your time with a group that leaves wanton destruction everywhere they go?" JJ snapped back._

" _I'm not here to argue with you about all the good the X-Men have done," she said with a glare. "If that's what this panel was about, I'd have brought a list of all the lives they've saved, and you'd have to rent a crane."_

" _And we'd have to rent out a building to house the names of the dead," he shot back._

" _Careful, JJ. Make sure the people on that list are actually dead before you go reporting," she said in a low, even tone, her eyes narrowed. "Don't want to get caught in an embarrassing fact-checking incident like last time. Not every ghost has the cell phone coverage I did when I was allegedly dead."_

 _JJ glared at her. "One miraculous recovery is nothing compared to_ —"

" _Oh, JJ," Kate said, shaking her head at him. "You don't get it, do you? It wasn't miraculous_ — _it was my team saving me from the bad guys, like they always do. The only reason that was reported on national television was that you were just pleased I was dead." She shot him a glare. "If you reported every time the bad guys got a leg up on the good guys for even half a second, you'd be pretty busy_ — _but we always come out winners in the end." She looked past JJ to the reporter moderating the panel as she added. "Actually, that's the premise of Kamala Khan's new book. Have you seen the book jacket? I'm pretty excited about it. It's all about good triumphing over evil despite all odds."_

As Kate went on to gush about the book, blatantly ignoring JJ in favor of talking with the reporter about the release date, Tony looked down at his phone with a frown. He'd sent in Kaylee's picture forever ago — he should have gotten everything on her within minutes, right down to her favorite nail polish. But there was just… _nothing_ there.

His frown deepened for a moment before he leaned over to K. "You know, I'm surprised it's just you two here. I can't take two steps without this entourage," he said, gesturing to the security forces. "And I'm not being threatened — today, anyway."

"Impressive," K said with one eyebrow arched. "Maybe you shouldn't spend all your time pissing people off?"

"Name of the game, sweetheart," he replied with a cocky grin. "People get mad at success."

She grinned right back at him, truly amused. "I suppose you really only know if you're doing it right if people are mad," she said with a tip of her head. "Beautiful work, you do."

"It's a pretty good indicator," Tony said, still grinning. "I guess your boss is still new to the game, though."

"I think she's doing pretty well. She doesn't have the name recognition you do, but hey. Maybe she figured that going in under your incredibly extensive security detail was enough," K told him at just over a whisper.

He grinned at her for a moment. "Yeah, only if I stayed, though," he pointed out. He tilted his head at her and studied her for a moment. "Which she didn't know I was even going to be here, let alone that I'd stay. So that leaves me wondering if the definition of _secretary_ has changed. It's been so long since I've had to do mid-level hiring."

K frowned just a bit then rolled her shoulder up to her ear. "Maybe she's just ridiculously lucky."

He snorted. "Yeah, that's it," he said almost under his breath before he turned his full attention to her. "She's a Hawkeye. If she's anything like ours, it's a wrench keeping her out of the hospital. Sure you don't moonlight?"

"I'm not sure what I'd be moonlighting as," K replied.

"Oh, you know. Nurse. Bandage inspector. Bodyguard. So many things to choose from."

K laughed outright at the suggestion, going so far as to cover her mouth with her hand and smile widely at him once she'd shown a better level of control. "I'm not sure where you look for bodyguards, but I don't think there's much of a job market for that line of work at my size." She looked down and gestured at herself with a subdued laugh and a shake of her head. " I do have a box of bandaids in the glove box, though," she said with a grin, very quietly, as she leaned toward him. "Let me know if you get a boo boo, and I'll see what I can do for you."

"Only if you kiss it better."

"It won't heal otherwise, right? And I don't think you need any scars."

He fixed her with a beaming smile. "So you _do_ moonlight."

She bit her lip and shook her head slowly. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stark," K said with a little laugh. "But I'm afraid my Hawkeye is wrapping up. And as fun as this has been, I do have a job to do."

"Nice to meet you too, Kaylee," he said as he offered her his hand to shake. "Maybe next time we'll have more of an opportunity to get to know each other."

"Just have to see what the future brings," K replied in a relaxed tone. "Be careful with your … entourage. They're a little uptight."

Tony just smirked her way as Kate came back from the stage with a weary sort of smile, and again, she and Tony repeated the light kiss on their cheeks and said their polite farewells before Kate turned back to K.

"You okay?" K asked as she put one hand on Kate's shoulder.

"Oh yeah. I love it when people toss compromising pictures at me. So fun," Kate said, rolling her eyes.

K recognized the pulled-in shoulders and the deep-set frown and shook her head as she pulled on Kate's arm. "Oh, honey, come on. You need some ice cream before we go home," K said. "Or you know … a fudge covered Elf. One or the other."

Kate actually smiled at that and let out a little giggle. "They both sound so good," she said thoughtfully.

"Then both it shall be!" K decided as she linked arms with her. "Come on, I'll tell you about my Stark-run interrogation."

Kate had to laugh, relaxing as she let her friend lead her out of the building. "I can't take you anywhere," she teased as they hit the elevator — headed for ice cream.


End file.
